Your driver's license also has your email address.
You have four separate phone lines, yet you live alone.
America Online solved all of its access problems by kicking you off the service.
Even your waterbed is hooked up to a modem.
Instead of asking someone where they live, you say, "What's the URL?"
You really "do" have a mouse in your pocket.
You give your kids online time as their weekly allowance.
You have a low-grade year-round tan from the monitor's glow.
To speed up your downloads, you're running your modem through your microwave.
When your spouse is scratching your back, you say, "Scroll down."
You bump into an old friend on the street, and run home so you can use a live chat room with him.
When you say, "my better half," you mean your computer.
