Just my luck...

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline...


Got a freaking' call center in Pakistan . I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck..

Marital Bliss...

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh! We’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts.

He communicates really well, and I just act like I'm listening."