Chorus Christmas Cantata Kick-Off Night

Tonight (9/7/07) at 7:00 PM will be our Christmas Cantata Kick-Off night for our Chorus at Sheridan United Methodist Church (2679 Route 20 in Sheridan, NY).

We will be listening & viewing our new Christmas musical 'Noel' by David T. Clydesdale.

I can assure you that you will be excited! This is an entertainingly powerful piece that will challenge the singers and audience.

If you have any interest in singing, acting, dancing, singing in a small ensemble, sing a solo, help with the sound/lighting, etc., please join us!

We're asking people to bring a snack or drink if you can.

See you tonight!

Bud

Bill Gates Meets His Programmer (Joke)

Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stands over him and says, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95 among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done before; I'll let you decide where you want to go."

Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?"

Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why don't I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?" Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think I'll try Hell first."

So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill Gates went to Hell. When he materialized in Hell, Bill looked around. It was beautiful and clean, a bit warm, with sandy beaches and tall mountains, clear skies, pristine water, and beautiful women frolicking about.

A smile came across Bill's face as he took in a deep breath of the clean air. "This is great," he thought, "if this is Hell, I can't wait to see heaven." Within seconds of his thought, another flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke appeared, and Bill was off to Heaven. Heaven was a place high above the clouds, where angels were drifting about playing their harps and singing in a beautiful chorus. It was a very nice place, Bill thought, but not as enticing as Hell.

Bill looked up, yelled for God, told him his decision and was sent to Hell for eternity. Time passed, and God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was progressing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill Gates shackled to a wall in a dark cave amid bone thin men and tongues of fire, being burned and tortured by demons.

"So, how is everything going?" God asked. Bill responded with a cracking voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! It's nothing like the Hell I visited the first time!! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to the other place...with the beaches and the mountains and the beautiful women?"

"That was the demo," replied God.

From Bud's World

September 2, 2007
Happy Labor Day Weekend
from Bud's World
HYMNS FOR SEASONED CITIZENS

'The Old Rugged Face’

‘Precious Lord, Take My Hand, And Help Me Up’

‘It is Well With My Soul, But My Knees Hurt’

‘Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing’

‘Amazing Grace, Considering My Age’
‘Just a Slower Walk With Thee’

‘Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One by One’

‘Go Tell It On The Mountain, But Please Speak Up’‘Give Me That Old Timers' Religion’

‘Blessed Insurance’

‘Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah, I've Forgotten Where I Parked’

Sheridan’s fastest growing church choir is currently looking for fresh faces and fresh talent to join our talented ensemble. What are we looking for? Singers from all walks of life. Our prospects range from runway tenors, plus-size basses, fussy altos, distracted sopranos, etc.... If you get jealous every time you hear a karaoke singer or you are just looking to get into a really fun ensemble, please contact me…Bud Lowery at 719.934.7734 or tubamanbud@gmail.com

Did you know?
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
There are more chickens than there are people in the world.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and
a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
(To whom, we’re all grateful!)
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

Today in history
(September 2)
1987 – The Philips Company introduced the CD-Video
1969 – Star Trek’s final episode aired on TV
1969 – The 1st ATM machine was opened for public use
1959 – The Ford Falcon was introduced
1945 – The formal surrender of Japan aboard USS Missouri
1944 – Holocaust diarist Anne Frank was sent to Auschwitz
1864 – General Sherman led Union troops into Atlanta
Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: mailto:tubamanbud@yahoo.com
http://www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com/

Bud’s History of the Hymns
September 2, 2007
‘Come Sinners, to the Gospel Feast’(1774) Page 339
Words: Charles Wesley (1707 – 1788)
Music: Hursley, Katholisches Gesangbuch

In July 1790, Jesse Lee preached the first "Methodist" sermon ever delivered in Boston, Massachusetts. Having spent a week trying to find a place to preach, but finding all places of worship closed against him and his Methodist "heresy," he concluded to preach in the open air on the Common. He borrowed a table from someone living near by, and placed it under the shade of the famous Old Elm located in the center of the Common. With an audience of only five persons, he began singing this morning’s hymn. They had never heard such hymns and such preaching in Calvinistic New England. Before he had finished his sermon he had an audience of nearly three thousand, and on the succeeding Sabbath an even larger number.
In 1876, this historic old elm tree was blown down in a severe storm. The Methodist preachers of the city resolved to have a large armchair made of some of the wood of the tree.
In the hymn, ‘Come Sinners, to the Gospel Feast,’ the first stanza tells us that sinners are called to come to the table. You don’t have to be perfect to come. Indeed, it’s exactly because we are imperfect that we need to come to the table. The second stanza tells us that no one has an excuse for not coming to the table or for refusing to receive the Grace of Jesus Christ. The third stanza is the most difficult. It proclaims that Christ’s presence is known through the elements of bread and wine and is real, and that when we eat and drink the elements we are receiving the Divine Grace, which is able to save us from our sin.

Meanwhile…1774…233 years ago…in the United States…
The Chestertown "tea party" occurred (tea dumped into the Chester River)
England passed "Quartering Act" mandating Colonists to house English troops
The British closed the port of Boston to commerce in response to Chestertown tea party
1st incident of Revolution – 400 attacked Ft. William and Mary in New Hampshire
Citizens of Carlisle, Pennsylvania passed a declaration of independence
The "Minute Men" were organized by the American Colonists
Ref. HymnHistories Cyberhymnal WebEdelic DMarie TanBible Wikipedia

Class of 2011

50. Smoking has never been allowed in public spaces in France.

51. China has always been more interested in making money than in reeducation.

52. Time has always worked with Warner.

53. Tiananmen Square is a 2008 Olympics venue, not the scene of a massacre.

54. The purchase of ivory has always been banned.

55. MTV has never featured music videos.

56. The space program has never really caught their attention except in disasters.

57. Jerry Springer has always been lowering the level of discourse on TV.

58. They get much more information from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert than from the newspaper.

59. They're always texting "1 n other."

60. They will encounter roughly equal numbers of female and male professors in the classroom. 61. They never saw Johnny Carson live on television.

62. They have no idea who Rusty Jones was or why he said "goodbye to rusty cars."

63. Avatars have nothing to do with Hindu deities.

64. Chavez has nothing to do with iceberg lettuce and everything to do with oil.

65. Illinois has been trying to ban smoking since the year they were born.

66. The World Wide Web has been an online tool since they were born.

67. Chronic fatigue syndrome has always been debilitating and controversial.

68. Burma has always been Myanmar.

69. Dilbert has always been ridiculing cubicle culture.

70. Food packaging has always included nutritional labeling.

The Class of 2011

26. Katie Couric has always been on TV.

27. Al Gore has always been running for president or thinking about it.

28. They never found a prize in a Coca-Cola "MagiCan."

29. They were too young to understand Judas Priest's subliminal messages.

30. When all else fails, the Prozac defense has always been a possibility.

31. Multigrain chips have always provided healthful junk food.

32. They grew up in Wayne's World.

33. U2 has always been more than a spy plane.

34. They were introduced to Jack Nicholson as "The Joker."

35. Stadiums, rock tours and sporting events have always had corporate names.

36. American rock groups have always appeared in Moscow.

37. Commercial product placements have been the norm in films and on TV.

38. On Parents' Day on campus, their folks could be mixing it up with Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz with daughter Zöe, or Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford with son Cody.

39. Fox has always been a major network.

40. They drove their parents crazy with the Beavis and Butt-head laugh.

41. The "Blue Man Group" has always been everywhere.

42. Women's studies majors have always been offered on campus.

43. Being a latchkey kid has never been a big deal.

44. Thanks to MySpace and Facebook, autobiography can happen in real time.

45. They learned about JFK from Oliver Stone and Malcolm X from Spike Lee.

46. Most phone calls have never been private.

47. High definition television has always been available.

48. Microbreweries have always been ubiquitous.

49. Virtual reality has always been available when the real thing failed.

50. Smoking has never been allowed in public spaces in France.

The College Class of 2011

THE BELOIT COLLEGE MINDSET LIST FOR THE CLASS OF 2011
Most of the students entering college this fall, members of the Class of 2011, were born in 1989. For them, Alvin Ailey, Andrei Sakharov, Huey Newton, Emperor Hirohito, Ted Bundy, Abbie Hoffman, and Don the Beachcomber have always been dead.

HERE'S THEIR LIFE...

1. What Berlin wall?
2. Humvees, minus the artillery, have always been available to the public.
3. Rush Limbaugh and the "Dittoheads" have always been lambasting liberals.
4. They never "rolled down" a car window.
5. Michael Moore has always been angry and funny.
6. They may confuse the Keating Five with a rock group.
7. They have grown up with bottled water.
8. General Motors has always been working on an electric car.
9. Nelson Mandela has always been free and a force in South Africa.
10. Pete Rose has never played baseball.
11. Rap music has always been mainstream.
12. Religious leaders have always been telling politicians what to do, or else!
13. "Off the hook" has never had anything to do with a telephone.
14. Music has always been "unplugged."
15. Russia has always had a multi-party political system.
16. Women have always been police chiefs in major cities.
17. They were born the year Harvard Law Review Editor Barack Obama announced he might run for office some day.
18. The NBA season has always gone on and on and on and on.
19. Classmates could include Michelle Wie, Jordin Sparks, and Bart Simpson.
20. Half of them may have been members of the Baby-sitters Club.
21. Eastern Airlines has never "earned their wings" in their lifetime.
22. No one has ever been able to sit down comfortably to a meal of "liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."
23. Wal-Mart has always been a larger retailer than Sears and has always employed more workers than GM.
24. Being "lame" has to do with being dumb or inarticulate, not disabled.
25. Wolf Blitzer has always been serving up the news on CNN.

Christmas Cantata Kick-Off Night

Merry Christmas!
We are having our "Christmas Cantata Kick-Off" night on Friday, September 7, 2007 at 7:00 PM at The Sheridan United Methodist Church (Route 20) in Sheridan, NY.
We are asking you to bring your enthusiasm and maybe a snack. We will have a time of coffee and snacks while seeing our Christmas musical of 2007.
Directly after the Christmas musical, we will have a brief refresher rehearsal of our Patriotic cantata: 'Spirit of America.' This is in preparation for our Friday, September 14 concert at the Grape Festival.
If you are planning to sing with us, or just have an interest to see what we're singing, or you know someone who might want to join us this year...please plan to come.
For further information, contact Bud @ 716.934.7734 or tubamanbud@gmail.com
We would love to have you join us!

Entering Heaven (Joke)

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of New York City."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn.

He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?"

"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."

Compliments from a husband (Joke)

A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful."

Flattered, the wife continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later, her husband woke up and said, "You're cute." Startled, she asked him, "What happened to 'beautiful?'"

"The drugs are wearing off," he replied.

Airline announcements (Joke)

United Flight Attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!

· On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have. "

· "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"

· An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

· As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella, WHOA!"

· Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

· Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

· "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

· "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses......except for that gentleman over there."

· Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City - The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

· After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

· Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."

· A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

Christmas Cantata Kick-off

Friday, September 7, 2007 at 7:00 pm at The Sheridan United Methodist Church...

we are making preliminary plans for our Christmas Cantata kick-off night.

We will watch and listen to the new Christmas musical for our 2007 Christmas season.

We would like each one to bring a small snack or desert. I would like this to be a relaxed social night for anyone interested in participating in our Christmas musical.

Following the Christmas musical preview, we will have a quick rehearsal of our patriotic musical: 'The Spirit of America.' We will be presenting 'The Spirit of America' a week later at the Grape Festival in Silver Creek, NY. (Friday, September 14 @ 6:00 pm) in front of the Village of Silver Creek Gazebo in the middle of the village.

Pray for good weather...but in case of rain we will sing inside The First United Church in Silver Creek.

A Friend Passes

Mr. Charles F. VanEtten passed away on Friday (8/17) at St. Joseph's Hospital in Buffalo.

As most of you are aware, Charlie was the husband of Betty VanEtten. Betty is my dear friend and choir director at Cattaraugus United Methodist Church.

Charlie was a warm, charming Christian with a quick smile.

He gave a brief presentation at our Chorus concert at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp last month and did an outstanding job.

Charlie will be sorely missed.

Visiting hours will be held at the Mentley Funeral Home (105 East Main Street in Gowanda) Monday (8/20) from 7 - 9. Tuesday (8/21) from 2 -4 & 7 - 9.

Funeral service will be held on Wednesday (8/22) at 11 am at The Gowanda United Methodist Church.

Please keep Betty VanEtten and the entire family in your thoughts and prayers.

Bud's World

August 19, 2007 (17 weeks left)

Fig Leaf Found…
A little boy opened the large old family Bible, and he looked with fascination at the ancient pages as he turned them one by one.
He was still in Genesis when something fell out of the bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was a very large old tree leaf that had been pressed between the pages of the Bible long ago. “Momma, look what I found!” the boy called out.
“What do you have there?” his mother asked.
With astonishment in his voice, the young boy answered, “I think its Adam’s underwear!”

From the Choir Loft
Did you know when most people are asked to join the choir, the response is: “Let me pray about it?”
Did you know church choirs average 5% the size of the Sunday morning congregation?
Did you know the majority of Christian churches do not have a choir?
Did you know church choir members live on average 12% longer?
Did you know 81% of all church choir members are female?
Choir LoftDid you know most church choirs take the summer off?
Did you know we need you in our choir?

Wit or Wisdom?
“Maturity is the ability to do a job whether or not you are supervised, to carry money
without spending it, and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.”
~Ann Landers
“I’m looking forward to looking back on all this.”
~Sandra Knell
“It’s important that people should know what you stand for.
It’s equally important that they know what you won’t stand for.”
~Mary H. Waldrip

Today in history
(August 19)
1993 – ‘Cheers’ ended an 11-year run on NBC-TV
1993 – The Mattel Company & Fisher-Price toy companies merged
1988 – Iran & Iraq began a cease-fire in their 8 year old war
1984 – Republican Convention in Houston, Texas nominated Ronald Reagan for president
1967 – The Beatles ‘All You Need Is Love’ single record goes #1
1934 – Adolf Hitler was elected Fuhrer of Germany by 95.7% of German voters
1856 – The method of processing condensed milk was patented by Gail Borden
1692 – Five women were executed for witchcraft in Salem, Massachusetts

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

History of the Hymns

August 19, 2007
‘How Firm a Foundation’ (1866) Page 529
Words: from ‘A Selection of Hymns’ from John Rippon (1751 – 1836)
Music: from Genuine Church Music by Joseph Funk (1778 – 1862)

General Curtis Guild, Jr., has written an article in ‘The Sunday School Times’ how this hymn, ‘How Firm a Foundation,’ was sung on a famous Christmas morning.
The Seventh Army Corps was encamped on the hills above Havana, Cuba, on Christmas Eve of 1898 on a beautiful tropical night. Suddenly a sentinel from the camp of the Forty-ninth Iowa called, “Number ten; twelve o’clock, and all’s well!”
Suddenly, a strong voice raised the chorus, and manly voices joined in until the whole regiment was singing. Then the Sixth Missouri added its voices, and the Fourth Virginia, and all the rest, ’til there, as General Guild said, on the long ridges above the great city where Spanish tyranny once went forth to enslave the New World, a whole American army corps was singing:
‘Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed;
For, I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.’
The Northern soldier knew the hymn as one he had learned beside his mother’s knee. To the Southern soldier it was that and something more—it was the favorite hymn of General Robert E. Lee, and was sung at that great commander’s funeral.
Protestant and Catholic, South and North, singing together on Christmas day in the morning—that’s an American army!

Meanwhile…1866…141 years ago…in the United States…
President: Andrew Johnson …V.P.: None
Jesse James took part in his 1st bank holdup
The world’s 1st roller rink opened in Newport, Rhode Island
Edson P. Clark of Northampton, Massachusetts patented the pencil
Jasper Daniel (“Jack Daniels”) began distilling whiskey in Lynchburg, Tenn.
The 1st successful telegraph cable was laid underwater between N. America & Europe

Ref. HymnHistories Cyberhymnal WebEdelic HymnNuts TanBible Wikipedia

Cats in Heaven?

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask."

The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors." God says, "Say no more." And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat. The mice said, "All our lives we've had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore." God says, "Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, "How are you doing? Are you happy here?" The cat yawns and stretches and says, "Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!"

Christmas Musical

Do you have experience with: staging, drama, costuming, lighting, choreography, etc.?
Could you help us decorate the church for Christmas?
Could you do mailings?
Could you help us move things?
Could you make coffee?
Could you make phone calls?
If so...
Please call Bud 716.934.7734 or tubamanbud@gmail.com

Marriage Seminar (Joke)

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife Peg listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He looked at Tom and asked, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"
The rest of the story is not pleasant.

Bud's World

August 12, 2007
[18 weeks left]

The True Origin of the Internet
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called 'Amazon Dot Com.’ And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.
But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading, as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites or ‘NERDS’ for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known as ‘eBay’ he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are." And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.""YAHOO," said Abraham.
And that is how it all began. It wasn't Al Gore after all.

ADULT CHOIR MEMBERS WANTED!
Do you love to sing?Did you sing in the choir in grade school or in high school?Are you looking for a way to meet new people with similar interests?Would you like to share your talents and serve the Church?

If you've answered yes to any of the above questions please consider joining the Sheridan United Methodist adult choir. We sing each Sunday morning. Warm-up is at 10:10 am (pre-service) and rehearsals are immediately following the morning service. Contact Bud Lowery 716.934.7734 or tubamanbud@gmail.com

The Nationality of Adam and Eve…
A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian were viewing a painting of Adam and Eve walking in the Garden of Eden. “Look at their reserve, their calm,” muses the Brit. “They must be British.” “Nonsense,” the Frenchman disagrees. “They’re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French.”
“No clothes, no shelter,” the Russian points out, “they have only an apple to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise. They are Russian.”

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

History of the Hymns

August 12, 2007

‘Take Time to Be Holy’ (1882) Page 395
Words: William Dunn Longstaff (1822 – 1894)
Music: George Coles Stebbins (1846 - 1945)

‘Take Time to Be Holy,’ was written by William D. Longstaff after hearing a sermon on I Peter 1:16. However, many years later the composer of the tune, George C. Stebbins, said that Longstaff wrote the hymn after hearing a missionary to China being quoted as saying, ‘Take time and be holy’ at a meeting he attended. Whatever the origin (and both elements may be equally true, when you think about it), Stebbins had received the poem from a friend in 1890, who had clipped it from a periodical. Later, while Stebbins was spending a winter in India assisting Dr. George F. Pentecost and Bishop Thoburn in evangelistic and conference work, he recalled that he had the slip of paper with him. He promptly set music to the words and sent it off to Sankey in New York. Part of the reason Sankey probably accepted it was on the basis of long-time friendship with Longstaff.
Sankey published it first in 1890. The hymn entered the Methodist Protestant hymnal in 1901 and in 1935.
George C. Stebbins (composer of the music of this hymn) studied music in Buffalo and Rochester, NY.

Meanwhile…1882…125 years ago…in the United States…

President: Chester A. Arthur…V.P.: None
Bread: 2¢/loaf, Milk: 4¢/qt., Average income: $490/year
Top songs: ‘My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean’
False teeth were 1st patented
Henry W. Selby of NYC patented the electric iron
The Knights of Columbus was chartered for Catholic men
Thomas Edison invented the first electric Christmas lights
Circus owner PT Barnum bought his world-famous elephant Jumbo
The Hatfields of W.V. & The McCoys of KY feud – 100 were wounded or died
In Buffalo, electric trolley cars w/overhead wires replaced horse-drawn cars
Grover Cleveland was elected Mayor of Buffalo (Later Governor then President)

Ref. HymnHistories Cyberhymnal WebEdelic HymnNuts TanBible Wikipedia

Sick in church

A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy," she said, "can we leave now?" "No," her mother replied.

"Well, I think I have to throw up!" exclaimed the girl. "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush," said her mother.

After about sixty seconds, the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes," the little girl replied.

"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?" her mother asked.

"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the Sick.'"

Hot Christmas Plans

91 Degrees of Merry Christmas!
As I sit in the office listening to my poor Golden Retriever panting faster than a marathon runner, I'm planning the Christmas musical by the Sheridan Community Chorus. It's just a little difficult thinking of Christmas as I wipe the perspiration off the computer keyboard. But, being the consummate professional, I will stumble through.
The Christmas musical for this year is a new cantata by David T. Clydesdale with DVD accompaniment: 'Noel.' It includes big band arrangements of Christmas Carols, a specialty number for kids ('Everything I Wanted for Christmas'), a nativity candlelight piece, and much more. If you want to get an idea of how great the music is...go to www.wordmusic.com click on 'Noel,' then click on 'listen' to each individual piece.
We are planning a "Christmas kick-off" on Friday, September 7 at 7:00 PM or Saturday, September 8 at 7:00 PM at The Sheridan United Methodist Church. We will have coffee and snacks as we watch and listen to this wonderful musical. After previewing the Christmas cantata, we will have a quick refresher rehearsal of the patriotic musical: 'Spirit of America,' for the upcoming 9/14 Grape Festival performance. Please begin inviting new singers into the fold. We will make them feel welcome.
As always, I thank you for your support.
In His service,
Bud

Christmas Musical Plans

I am 93.9% sure we will present the Christmas musical: 'Noel' (by David T. Clydesdale) at The Sheridan United Methodist Church on Sunday, December 16, 2007 at 7:00 PM.

This is a wonderfully entertaining Christmas cantata with a powerful message. It includes traditional Christmas carols in 'swing' style, a kids' choir, a candlelight Christmas piece, narration, DVD video presentation, audience sing-along, and much more.

The reason I am only 93.9% sure is I am trying to get assurances from the publisher that all the music, video, & books... will be available "on time."

I am still working on plans for our "Christmas Kick-off" night. This will be a night when we view the cantata and rehearse 'The Spirit of America' for our Friday, September 14 (6:00 PM) concert at The Grape Festival in Silver Creek, NY.

Let me know what night of the week is most convenient for you for our choir rehearsals.

Let me know what night is most convenient for you for our "Christmas Kick-off" night...Friday, September 7 @ 7:00 PM, or Saturday, September 8 @ 7:00 PM. We will finish by 9:00 PM.

We need you!

We need new choir members!

Love

Love is an act of endless forgiveness.

A little humor…
“Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not…
a sense of humor to console him for what he is.”- Francis Bacon, 1561 – 1626
“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs…
jolted by every pebble in the road.”- Henry Ward Beecher, 1813 – 1887
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
- Erma Boombeck

Wanted: choir members
Small, growing, church choir looking for male/female singers in all sections: soprano, alto, tenor & bass. Reading is a plus, blending is a must. Gregarious atmosphere, fun-loving people and an opportunity to develop your musicianship. Come to rehearsal on Sunday mornings following the morning service. Warm-up is Sunday mornings at 10:10 am before the service. You need not be a member to participate. for questions or information contact bud (716) 934-7734 or tubamanbud@gmail.com We need you!

No Parking Zone
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn’t find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: “I have circled the block 10 times. If I don’t park here, I’ll miss my appointment. ‘FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES.’”
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note: “I’ve worked this block for 10 years. If I don’t give you a ticket, I’ll lose my job. ‘LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION.’”

Today in history (August 5)
1981 - President Ronald Regan fired 11,500 striking air traffic controllers
1974 – President Nixon admitted he withheld information about the Watergate break-in
1966 – The Beatles released ‘Yellow Submarine,’ & ‘Eleanor Rigby’ in the UK
1961 – Construction of the Berlin Wall began
1944 – The Allied forces of WW II landed in southern France
1936 – At the Berlin Olympics, Jesse Owens won his 3rd Olympic medal
1935 – Will Rogers & Wiley Post were killed in a plane crash in Point Barrow, Alaska
1911 – The product ‘Crisco’ was introduced by Procter & Gamble
1861 – The U.S. Army abolished ‘flogging’

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: mailto:tubamanbud@yahoo.com
http://www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com/

Bud's World

August 5, 2007
‘Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah’ (1907) Page 127
Words: William Williams ( 1717 – 1791)
Music: John Hughes (1873 - 1932)

After he was converted, William Williams decided to take all of Wales as his parish. And for the next 43 years, Williams traveled 100,000 miles on horseback, preaching and singing the gospel in his native tongue. He became known as ‘the sweet singer of Wales.’
The vivid, symbolic imagery of this text is drawn wholly from the Bible. The general setting is the march of the Israelites from Egypt to Canaan. Although the Israelites' sin and unbelief kept them from their destination for 40 years, God provided for their physical needs with a new supply of manna each day.
Twice during the Hebrews' years of wandering, they became faint because of lack of water. At the command of God, Moses struck a large rock with his wooden staff. Out of it flowed a pure, crystalline stream that preserved their lives. God also continued to guide them with a pillar of cloud by day and pillar of fire by night.
This very personal hymn seeks the same care that God gave the Israelites in the wilderness: "Bread of heaven", the manna in the wilderness, "Open now the crystal fountain", water from the rock, "Let the fire and cloudy pillar", the pillar God used to guide them and protect them in the wilderness.
‘Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah’ has been translated into seventy-five languages. It is so loved in Wales that it is considered an unofficial national anthem. It is often spontaneously sung at Welsh sporting events, and was sung at Princess Diana's funeral.

Meanwhile…1907…100 years ago…in the United States…
President: Theodore Roosevelt…V.P.: Charles W. Fairbanks
Bread: 5¢/loaf, Milk: 7¢/qt., Car: $500, House: $4,500, Stamp: 2¢,
Avg. Income: $897/year, Unemployment: 2.8%, Population: 87 million
Top Songs: ‘Maxim’s’ (Adrian Ross), ‘Bon Bon Buddy’ (Alex Rogers),
‘Harrigan’ (George Cohan)
S.T. Davidson was pastor of Sheridan Methodist Church

Ref. HymnHistories Cyberhymnal WebEdelic HymnNuts TanBible Wikipedia

Sheridan Community Chorus Christmas plans

The past three days have been the hottest, muggiest days of the summer. Kaycee, my golden retriever, has set a record for the fastest panting of the summer. He gets hosed off 4 times/day.

If you're as hot as I am, think of joining us in the chorus for our Christmas cantata. I want to have a Christmas cantata kick-off night at the beginning of September. Maybe Saturday, September 8 at 7:00 pm, we'll get together to watch the video of the Christmas cantata and rehearse our Patriotic 'Spirit of America.' Remember, we are singing the patriotic cantata on Friday, September 14 at 6:00 pm in Silver Creek at the 40th Grape Festival.

Invite your friends to join our chorus!

The Lawyer & Pope go to Heaven

A lawyer died. At the same moment, the Pope also died. They arrived at the gates of heaven at the same moment. They spend the day in orientation, and as they're getting their heavenly vestments, the Pope gets a plain white toga and wings, like everyone else, and the lawyer gets much finer apparel, made of gold thread, and Gucci shoes.

Then, they get to see where they're going to live. The Pope gets what everyone else gets, a replica of a Holiday Inn room, and the lawyer gets an 18-room mansion with servants and a swimming pool. At dinnertime, the Pope receives the standard meal, a kosher TV dinner, but the lawyer receives a five-course meal including caviar, prime rib and chocolate truffles.

By this time, the lawyer is beginning to suspect that an error has been made, so he asks one of the angels in charge, "Has there been some kind of mistake? This guy was the Pope, and he gets what everyone else gets, and I'm just a lawyer and I'm getting the finest of everything?"

The angel replied, "No mistake, sir. We've had lots of Popes here, but you're the first lawyer we've ever had."

The Sheridan Community Chorus

Our next concert is on Friday, September 14, 2007 at 6:00 pm in Silver Creek, NY during the Grape Festival.

We will be singing 'The Spirit of America' in the center of the Village of Silver Creek near the gazebo. We would like to sing outside, so pray for good weather.

My plan is to have a rehearsal/Christmas Cantata kick-off at the beginning of September at Sheridan United Methodist Church.

How about a pot-luck dinner where we eat (my favorite hobby), watch the new Christmas cantata video, followed by a quick rehearsal of 'The Spirit of America' musical.

Good chance for us to socialize and invite new members!

What night of the week/weekend is good for you?

What night of the week is most convenient for you for our Christmas cantata rehearsals?

Got any ideas?

Bud

July 29, 2007

The patient mother:
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three-year-old girl in her shopping cart. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, "No." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Jane, we just have half of the aisles left to go through - don't be upset. It won't be long now.”
Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy. When told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "There, there, Jane, don't cry - only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out."
When they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there'd be no gum purchased. The mother said serenely, "Jane, we'll be through this check out stand in 5 minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap." The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Jane. It's quite commendable," he remarked.
The mother replied, "My name’s Jane. My little girl's name is Tammy

Wanted: choir members
Small, growing, church choir looking for male/female singers in all sections: soprano, alto, tenor & bass. Reading is a plus, blending is a must. Gregarious atmosphere, fun-loving people and opportunity to develop your musicianship. Come to rehearsal on Sunday morning following the morning service. Warm-up is Sunday morning at 10:10 am before the service. You need not be a member to participate. E-mail (tubamanbud@gmail.com) for information or call Bud at (716) 934-7734.

Wit or Wisdom…
“It’s never crowded along the extra mile.”
~Wayne Dyer
“The world is full of willing people…some willing to work and some willing to let them.”
~Anonymous
“There's no secret about success.
Have you ever known a successful man who didn't want to tell you about it?”-- Kin Hubbard
“Why do they call it ‘Alcoholics Anonymous,
and then make everybody say their name at the beginning of the meeting?”
~Anonymous

Today in history
(July 29)
1965 – The Beatles movie ‘Help’ premiered in London
1945 – The U.S.S. Indianapolis was sunk by a Japanese sub after delivering the Atomic bomb
1928 – Walt Disney’s ‘Steamboat Willie’ was released
1927 – Bellevue hospital in NYC was the 1st hospital in U.S. to install an iron lung
1914 – The 1st transcontinental phone link made between NYC and San Francisco

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

History of the Hymns

July 29, 2007
‘Forgive Our Sins as We Forgive’ (1966) Page 390
Words: Rosamond E. Herklots (1905 – 1987)
Music: Supplement to ‘Kentucky Harmony’

The author of this hymn writes how the theme of this hymn came to her years before when she was digging up rocks in a long neglected garden. “I realized how these deeply-rooted weeds were choking the life out of the flowers in the garden, I realized that deeply-rooted resentments in our lives could destroy every Christian virtue and all joy and peace unless, by God's grace, we learned to forgive."
And what were the “deep resentments” in her life? It is reported that Rosamond’s family could only afford to send one child to college, and that child was her older sister. Only after her sister died did Rosamond realize how deeply she had resented her sister because of the advantages she had through her college education. This hymn becomes an affirmation of the power of the gospel to influence her life – too late to restore the lost relationship with her sister, but not too late to heal the resentment in her spirit.
The hymntune, named ‘DETROIT,’ is from The Sacred Harp. The Sacred Harp was a collection of religious songs in early America that were based on, or composed in the style of, folk songs brought over from England and Ireland. So it is a very fitting musical setting for this hymn text from a British poetess.

Meanwhile…1966…41 years ago…in the United States…
President: Lyndon Banes Johnson…V.P.: Hubert H. Humphrey
Bread: 22¢/loaf, Milk: 27¢/qt., Eggs: $1.05/dz., Stamps: 5¢, Gas: 32¢/gal.
Min. Wage: $1.00/hr., Teacher’s Salary: $5,174/yr. Unemployment: 4.5%
Top Songs: ‘We Can Work It Out’ (Beatles), ‘Monday, Monday’ (The Mamma’s & Pappa’s), ‘I’m a Believer’ (Monkees), ‘Winchester Cathedral’ (New Vaudeville Show)
On TV: Hogan’s Heroes, Mission Impossible, Lost In Space, I Dream of Jeenie,
Get Smart, Star Trek, Batman, Green Acres
Deaths: Montgomery Clift, Walt Disney

Christmas in July

I had the honor of touring Australia and New Zealand with a band many years ago. There is a tradition of Christmas in July in Australia when they celebrate Christmas. Since they are the "land down under," this is their way of celebrating Christmas at the opposite end of the calendar.

I feel like I do the same thing every year because I have to plan the Christmas cantata during the middle of the summer.

If you want a "sneak peek" at the Christmas musical for this year, go to www.wordmusic.com click on the Christmas musical: 'Noel,' and you can listen to excerpts from the musical.

It's fun and you won't want to miss this one.

10 Laws of Life (Joke)

1. When ones hands are covered in oil, grease, or glue, your nose will
start to itch. (Law of Itchiban)
2. Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened.
(Incuranctions So Sorry Law)
3. When things seem easy to do, it's because you haven't followed all
the instructions. (Destiny Awaits Law)
4. The cost is always higher than one budgets for, and it's exactly
3.14 times higher, hence the importance of pi. (Law of Pi Eyed)
5. The probability that one will spill food on one's clothes is
directly proportional to its need to be clean. (Law of Campbell's Scoop)
6. Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to
ring. (Law of O'golly Gee!)
7. Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of ones
hairdo. (The Hair-Wind Principal)
8. After discarding something not used for years, you will need it one
week later. (Law of Irreversibility)
9. Arriving for an appointment will cause the receptionist to be
absent, and if one arrives late, everyone else else arrived before you. (Law
of De Lay)
10. Do not take life too serious, because in the end, you won't come
out alive anyway. (Law of Absolute Certainly)

Bud's World

July 22, 2007

You might be a preacher if:
A church picnic is no picnic.
It's your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.
You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.
Your sermons have a happy ending; everyone's happy when it ends!
You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church choir director.
You've ever wanted to give the soundman some feedback of your own.
You often feel like you're herding mules rather than shepherding sheep.
You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.
You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you weren't thinking of praying for him.

From the Choir Loft
The Community Chorus has presented the patriotic musical: ‘THE SPIRIT OF AMERICA’ at both The Sheridan United Methodist Church and at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp. I can now honestly say it was a blessing to many and I had a good time. (I can say that now because most of the hard work is over!) We will sing the cantata one more time at the 40th annual Grape Festival in Silver Creek on Friday, September 14 at 6:00 PM. We need you!

Being a brass player, I was going to include the typical saxophone joke in honor of our sax guests this morning, but Diane stopped me…so here’s a “general” musician joke:
One day, Saint Peter was interviewing a group of men to see if they should be let into Heaven. He asked the first man what good deeds he had done in his life. “Well, I struck it rich in the oil business when I was young. While I was alive I earned a few million dollars and donated half of that to charity.” “Very good. Go on in,” said Saint Peter.
“What did you accomplish in your lifetime?” he asked the second guy. “I invested in Microsoft and made three billion dollars. I left it to my children so that now none of my children, grandchildren, or great-grandchildren will ever have to work,” he proudly replied. “That’s amazing!” exclaimed Saint Peter, “Go on in.”
Now the third guy walked slowly up to Saint Peter. “What did you do to better the world?” Saint Peter asked. “Well, I only made five thousand dollars,” he replied humbly.
Saint Peter then asked: “What instrument did you play?”

Today in history
(July 22)
1990 – Greg Lemond won his 3rd ‘Tour de France’
1960 – Castro “nationalized” all U.S. owned sugar factories in Cuba
1943 – U.S. forces, led by Gen. George Patton, liberated Palermo, Sicily
1918 – Lightning killed 504 sheep in Utah’s Wasatch National Park
1893 – Katharine Lee Bates wrote the words to ‘America the Beautiful’ while visiting Colorado
1775 – George Washington took command of troops in the American Colonies

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

‘Am I a Soldier of the Cross’ (1762) Page 511
Words: Isaac Watts (1674 – 1748)
Music: Thomas Augustine Arne (1710 - 1778)

English-born Isaac Watts wrote the hymn ‘Am I A Soldier Of The Cross’ in 1721, and Thomas A. Arne wrote the music score in 1762. Ralph Harrison later did the arrangement of the music score. Dr. Watts wrote ‘Am I A Soldier Of The Cross’ in 1709 after he preached a sermon on 1 Corinthians 16:13, “Watch Ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.” Isaac Watts was considered the father of “hymn writing” in the English language.
His father was not a member of the state church of England, and was twice thrown into jail for opposing it. When Watts was a baby his mother often carried him in her arms to visit his father in prison.
Isaac Watts became a minister in London. He was a little man, only about five feet tall. His health was very poor all his life, but his church took loving care of him, for he was greatly liked.
Early in life he became bored with the “versified Psalms,” which the churches used, and set out to compose hymns of his own. This was a new departure and met with persistent opposition, but his hymns soon became widely popular in nearly all the churches.
Meanwhile…1762…245 years ago…in the American Colonies…

President: NONE…V.P.: NONE
Spain acquired territory now known as Louisiana
The 1st St. Patrick’s Day Parade stepped-off in NYC
Ann Franklin became the 1st female newspaper editor in America
England attempted to force Anglican Bishops on the American Colonies
Treaty of Paris ended the French-Indian War (surrendering Canada to England)
New England’s white colonist population was 500,000 (had doubled since 1734)

Ref. HymnHistories Cyberhymnal WebEdelic HymnNuts TanBible Wikipedia

10 Commandments for Choir Members

Recently, the Vatican released "10 Commandments" for motorists.

It warned motorists against the sins of road rage, rudeness, and using your vehicle as an expression of power and domination. The unusual document also encourages the saying of the Rosary on your journey.

I'm looking for "10 Commandments" for choir members.

This is your chance to come up with rules for choir members. Just click on the "Comments" icon under this article to send me your suggestions. I will credit you with the best suggestions.

What to do for retirement (Joke)

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and went into a shop. I was only in there for about five minutes and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I went up to him and said, "Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a "doughnut eating Gestapo." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus!

July 15, 2007

The church visitor
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. “Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely. “The front row please,” she answered.
“You really don’t want to do that,” the usher said. “The pastor is really boring.”
“Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired.
“No,” he said.
“I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.
“Do you know who I am?” he asked.
“No,” she said.
“Good,” he answered, “Let me show you the front pew!”

From the Choir Loft
Choir LoftTonight, we will again be joining forces with the Cattaraugus area singers to sing our patriotic musical: ‘THE SPIRIT OF AMERICA.’ We will perform this wonderful piece at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp in Cattaraugus, NY. The concert begins at 3:00 pm and the report time is 2:00. So, if you see me or any of the choir members “bolting” out the door following the church service this morning, you will understand. We will also present the cantata on Friday (9/14/07) at the 40th annual Grape Festival in Silver Creek.

Bible Stories according to kids
HIGHER POWER: A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"
MOSES & THE RED SEA: Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

Today in history
(July 15)
1996 – Prince Charles & Princess Di sign divorce papers
1932 – President Hoover cut his own salary by 15%
1901 – Over 74,000 Pittsburgh steelworkers went on strike
1881 – William Bonney “Billy the Kid” was shot by Pat Garrett
1779 – Birth of Clement C. Moore (author of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’)

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

From Bud's World

History of the Hymns
July 15, 2007
‘Spirit of God, Descend upon My Heart’ (1870) Page 500
Words: George Croly (1780 – 1860)
Music: Frederick Cook Atkinson (1841 - 1896)

Following the celebration of Easter, there are two other important Church calendar days, which many Christians often neglect to recognize. The first is ‘Ascension Day’-forty days following Easter. The second important day is ‘Pentecost Sunday’-ten days after Christ's ascension. It is thrilling at Christmas to recall the events of our Savior's birth, or at Easter his triumph over death. Yet if He had never ascended to make intercession for us or had never sent the Holy Spirit to dwell within and to guide us, our relationship with God would be most incomplete.
One of the finest of all hymns for Pentecost is this hymn, ‘Spirit of God, Descend Upon My Heart.’ The Rev. George Croly, a minister in the Anglican Church, wrote it. Croly was born in Dublin, Ireland, and graduated from Trinity College. He came to London, England, around 1810, where he served a small parish church. He was also active during this time as a literary writer of poems and novels as well as biographical, historical and scriptural material. Later, in 1835, he was asked by the church's leadership to re-open a church in the worst slum area of London, St. Stephen's Church, which had been closed for more than a century. His forceful, magnetic preaching soon attracted large crowds. Croly was characterized by his associates as a "fundamentalist in theology, a fierce conservative in politics, and intensely opposed to all forms of liberalism."
In 1854, when he was seventy-four years of age, he desired a new hymnal for his congregation and eventually prepared and published his own: ‘Psalms and Hymns for Public Worship.’ This is Croly's only surviving hymn from that collection.

Meanwhile…1870…137 years ago…in the United States…
President: Ulysses S. Grant…V.P.: Schuyler Colfax
Mark Twain (at age 34) married Olivia Langdon in Elmira, NY
The construction of the Brooklyn Bridge began (would take 13 years)
Buffalo’s population: 117,714…Erie County’s population: 178,699
Grover Cleveland was elected Erie County Sheriff (later served 2 terms as President)

Ref. HymnHistories BuffaloHistory WebEdelic HymnNuts TanBible

Sheridan Community Chorus

The Sheridan Community Chorus & The Cattaraugus area singers gave a powerful performance yesterday afternoon at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp.

The large audience was responsive and energetic as we presented 'The Spirit of America.'

I want to thank everyone involved for their time and effort to make this concert a huge success.

Sunday's (7/15) Concert

Sunday's Concert (7/15) at Cattaraugus Christian Camp

9714 Leon Road

Cattaraugus, NY 14719 (One mile south of village)

Corner of Route 353 & County Road 6

Report time: 2:00 PM

Concert time: 3:00 PM

Attire: Red, white & blue (any combination)

Bring your books

Bring your flags

The French robbery (Joke)

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre Museum. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

(See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else. I listed it because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.)

The Poisonous Wife (Joke)

A man goes to see his Rabbi."Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asks, "What's wrong?"

The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

The next day the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife on the phone yesterday for over three hours. You want my advice? " The man anxiously answers, "Yes."

"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.

Bud's World

July 8, 2007

The Million Dollar Question
A poor man walking in the forest felt close enough to God to ask, “God, what is a million years to you?”
God replies, “My son, a million years to you is like a second to me.”
The man asks, “God, what is a million dollars to you?”
God replies, “My son, a million dollars to you is less than a penny to me. It means almost nothing to me."
The man asks, “So God, can I have a million dollars?”
God replies, “In a second.”

From the Choir Loft
Last Sunday evening; our combined choruses presented the spirited patriotic cantata ‘Spirit of America.’ Four months of preparation went into this wonderful musical in an effort to thank God for his many blessings bestowed upon our Country, while honoring our veterans. I want to thank everyone who helped in presenting this musical. Also, I want to thank The Sheridan United Methodist Church for its continuing support. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please remember that we plan to present this musical again next Sunday evening (7/15/07) at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp in Cattaraugus, NY at 3:00 PM.

Bible Stories according to kids
LOT'S WIFE: The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mommy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
THE GOOD SAMARITAN: A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

Today in history

(July 8)
2000 - J.K. Rowling’s book ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’ was released in the U.S.
1981 – The U.S. Senate confirmed Sandra Day O’Conner to The Supreme Court
1969 – The U.S. troop withdrawal began in Vietnam
1963 – The U.S. banned all monetary transactions with Cuba
1947 – Demolition began for construction of the UN headquarters building in NYC
1932 – The DOW Jones average hit its lowest point during The Depression (41.22)
1889 – The Wall Street Journal was 1st published
1776 – Col. John Nixon gave the 1st public reading of The Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Bud's History of the Hymns

July 8, 2007
‘Marching to Zion’ (1867) Page 733
Words: Isaac Watts (1674 – 1748)
Music: Robert Lowry (1826 - 1899)

Because of the controversy between the singing of Psalms and the singing of hymns in the church, church leaders decided to sing Psalms at the beginning of their services and then after the preaching, they would sing hymns.
Many people, who were still against the singing of hymns, would get up and leave the service during hymn singing. Isaac Watts wrote this hymn, ‘We’re Marching to Zion,’ to refute this practice of people walking out during they hymn singing.
Pay particular attention to verse two:
“Let those refuse to sing who never knew our God; but children of the heavenly King, but children of the heavenly King may speak their joys abroad, may speak their joys abroad.”

Meanwhile…1867…140 years ago…in the United States…
President: Andrew Johnson…V.P.: None
In 1867, two railroad cars fell and burned in Angola, NY killing 50 people. The incident is known as the "Angola Horror." Tragedy struck when the worst railroad accident in the history of Erie County occurred on the LakeShore Railroad. The train, made up of three first-class coaches (a smoking car, and two baggage cars), was eastbound and due in Buffalo at 1:30 P.M. Several hundred yards beyond the Angola depot as the train was approaching the bridge over Big Sister Creek, the rear coach loosened an axle, worked it- self from the rails, and pulled off the coach just in front of it. The rear car broke loose and went plunging down the bank to the creek below. The second car almost reached the far end of the wooden span when its coupling was torn loose and it also went rolling down the bank resting on its side. In this car were two pot-bellied coal stoves used for heating, and both of them were thrown among the victims. Almost immediately the wreckage caught fire. By the time water could be brought from a nearby farm house it was too late. Fifty persons died in the fire of this coach; only three managed to crawl out.

Ref. HymnHistories BuffaloHistory HymnHistories SheridanSettler TanBible

From Bud's World

July 1, 2007

Independence Day
The Glory of America

On this day in 1776, the Continental Congress entered the final stage of its debate: should the Thirteen Colonies separate themselves from Great Britain?
Speaking with quiet power, John Adams declared: “Before God, I believe the hour has come. My judgement approves this measure, and my whole heart is in it. And I leave off as I began, that live or die, survive or perish, I am for the Declaration. It is my living sentiment, and by the blessing of God it shall be my dying sentiment. Independence now, and Independence for ever!”
~(Smoot) - America’s Promise

From the Choir Loft
Tonight, the combined Sheridan & Cattaraugus Community Chorus will present the patriotic musical: “THE SPIRIT OF AMERICA” at 7:00 PM here at Sheridan United Methodist Church. This will be the product of countless rehearsals, which began back in April. The chorus has worked hard, and the musical is a tribute to God for his many blessings. We will also honor our military veterans. Please come and invite others to join us for this powerful tribute to God & country.

July 4th
On July 4th, John Hancock, the Chairman of the Continental Congress, and the Secretary of the Congress both signed The Declaration of Independence of the United States, thereby making the document legal. This was the only government document in world history that is a creedal statement of Bible based ideals. It contains these phrases:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness… Appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions…With a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence…”

Today in history
(July 1)

2006 – Pastor Molly Golando officially became the pastor of Sheridan United Methodist Church
1979 – The SONY Corporation introduced the ‘Walkman’
1963 – The U.S. introduced the 5-digit ZIP code (‘Zone Improvement Plan’)
1941 – The Bulova Watch Co. sponsored the 1st TV commercial (NYC)
1909 – Thomas Edison began manufacturing alkaline batteries
1863 – The 1st day of the ‘Battle of Gettysburg’
1776 – The 1st vote on The Declaration of Independence
1776 – NJ gave all adults (who could prove a net worth of at least 50 pounds) the right to vote

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

No Chorus rehearsals

The entire chorus did a fantastic job at the patriotic musical last night. Great performance!

We will not have chorus rehearsals the following two Tuesday evenings (7/3 and 7/10).

The next rehearsal, is a dress rehearsal on Thursday, July 12 at 7:00 PM at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp - 9714 Leon Road - Cattaraugus, NY 14719 - One mile south of the village of Cattaraugus - Rt. 353 & County Rd. 6.

'The Spirit of America'

The combined choruses of the Sheridan and Cattaraugus, NY areas will present the patriotic musical: 'The Spirit of America' tonight at 7:00 pm at The Sheridan United Methodist Church (2679 Route 20 in Sheridan, NY 14135).

Participating will be County Legislator Robert Duff, Mr. Joe Gullo (veteran of The Iraq conflict), and Kevin J. Muldowney (representing Senator Cathy Young's office). They will each share a few uplifting words during our patriotic cantata.

We will also have 4 uniformed representatives from our 4 branches of the military.

This will be an uplifting time sure to make you leave with your head held high and proud to be a patriotic Christian.

Sunday (7/1) Schedule

10:30 am: The Sheridan United Methodist choir will sing: 'America' w/Jan Delcamp solo (from the patriotic cantata) in the morning service

6:00 pm: Report time for choirs to assemble on the platform @ Sheridan United Methodist Church.

7:00 pm: Patriotic program 'THE SPIRIT OF AMERICA' start time.

Speakers: Pastor Molly Golando, Legislator Robert Duff, Mr. Joe Gullo, Mr. Kevin J. Muldowney

(My hope is that the musical will begin by 7:20).

8:00: Reception immediately following concert in the fellowship hall in the church basement.

Sunday (7/1/07) Concert

The Patriotic musical: 'The Spirit of America' will be performed on Sunday, July 1 at The Sheridan United Methodist Church at 7:00 PM at the Sheridan United Methodist Church, 2679 Route 20 in Seridan, NY 14135.
Church office: (716) 672-2048
Bud tubamanbud@gmail.com

More Puns (Joke)

A good pun is its own reword.
Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
Dijon vu: The same mustard as before.
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

From Bud's World

June 24, 2007

If the Bible were written today by college students:
The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning -- cold.
The Ten Commandmentswould actually be only five -- double-spaced and written in a large font.
A new edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.
"Forbidden fruit"would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's email to abuse@romans.gov.
Reason Cain killed Abel: they were roommates.
Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years…
They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.
Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh,
He would have put it off until the night before to get it done.

From the choir loft
We will be presenting the patriotic musical: ‘The Spirit of America’ here at Sheridan United Church next Sunday, July 1, 2007 @ 7:00 PM and at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp on Sunday, July 15 @ 3:00 PM. This powerful musical focuses our attention on five attitudes and characteristics that have made Americans unique throughout our history: Spirit of Freedom, Adventure, Hope, Sacrifice and of Divine Purpose. This cantata will get your heart pounding with such songs as: ‘This is My Country, Salute to the Armed Services, America’ and many more. Invite your friends now!

Wit or Wisdom…
"Where the will of God leads you,
the grace of God will keep you."
~ Unknown
"A Pharisee is hard on others and easy on himself,
but a spiritual man is easy on others and hard on himself."
~ A. W. Tozer
"One cannot help being old, but one can resist being aged."
~ Lord Samuel

Today in history
(June 24)
1992 – John Gotti began his life sentence in jail
1964 – The FTC ruled that a health warning must appear on all cigarette packages
1953 – John F. Kennedy & Jacqueline Bouvier announced their engagement
1949 – "Hopalong Cassidy" became the 1st network western (NBC)
1941 – The entire Jewish population of Gorzhdy, Lithuania was exterminated
1903 – ‘In the Sweet Bye & Bye’ by Harry MacDonough & the Haydn Quartet was #1
1861 – Tennessee became the 11th state to secede from the Union
1817 – The 1st coffee beans were planted in Hawaii on the Kona coast
Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Bud’s History of the Hymns
June 24, 2007
‘Rock of Ages, Cleft for Me’(1830) Page 361
Words: Augustus M. Toplady (1740 – 1778)Music: Thomas Hastings (1784 - 1872)
Even when Augustus Toplady wrote his magnificent masterpiece, "Rock of Ages." he couldn’t resist the temptation to take a shot at those who he thought were believers in "Perfectionism." Toplady calculated that if a man lived to reach the age of 80, he would have the opportunity of committing over 2.5 billion sins, making it impossible to save himself. He needed a Savior! So when he finally finished this hymn, he titled it: ‘A living and dying prayer of the holiest believer in the world.’ He often said, "The most sanctified soul in the world must come down on his knees and confess, ‘Nothing in my hands I bring,’ and ‘Vile I to this fountain fly.’"
Thomas Hastings, the composer of this hymn tune, was born on October 15, 1784, in Washington, Connecticut. He wrote 1000 hymn tunes and more than 60 original hymn texts, as well as editing more than fifty music collections. In 1858 the University of the City of New York conferred the degree of Doctor of Music upon him in recognition of his accomplishments. Along with Lowell Mason, Thomas Hastings is generally credited with being the person most instrumental in shaping the development of church music in the United States. Hastings once wrote, "The homage that we owe Almighty God calls for the noblest and most reverential tribute that music can render."

Meanwhile…1830…177 years ago…in the United States…
President: Andrew Jackson…V.P.: Martin Van Buren
Population of Buffalo, NY was 8,668
In the fall of 1830, Charles and Mary Durfee of Cazenovia set out for the wilderness of Chautauqua County, settling on the lakeshore in Sheridan. The Lake Road at that time was only a path and not passable for loaded teams of horses, so in order to reach their future home from Dunkirk, they had to take the Roberts Road to the Main Road and then to Newell’s Corners to reach their destination. Here they procured a small plot of land. Their property was described in one legal document as follows: "Beginning at a certain Hemlock Tree on the south, running thence to the lake, largest to the lake, in the shape of a wedge."
Ref. CenterForChurchMusic HanoverBicentenial Webedelic SheridanSettler TanBible

THE SPIRIT OF AMERICA

A patriotic musical

Presented by…

The Sheridan Community Chorus

Under the direction of Bud Lowery

WITH A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO VETERANS

Sunday, July 1, 2007

7:00 PM

Sheridan United Methodist Church

2679 Route 20 Sheridan, NY

For further information contact the church office: (716) 678-2048 or

Bud Lowery: (716) 934-7734 (tubamanbud@gmail.com) frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Sponsored by The Sheridan United Methodist Church

History of the Hymns

June 17, 2007
‘Alas! and Did My Savior Bleed’ (1827) Page 294
Words: Isaac Watts (1674– 1748) Music: Hugh Wilson (1766 - 1827)

Isaac Watts was born July 17, 1674 at Southampton, England. He was born into the home of “Non-Conformists” in the days when the Church of England persecuted ‘Dissenters’ and ‘Independents.’ Fortunately this intolerance lasted only a short while after Watts’ birth.
His father, was imprisoned twice during the ‘persecution era’ in England. After this persecution era had ended, Watts’ father prospered in his business and was able to give his son the best kind of education.
Isaac entered the ministry and preached his first sermon at the age of twenty-four. His utter lack of what is commonly known as “handsomeness” was probably responsible for the fact that he remained unmarried throughout his life. Yet I’m sure this frail soul had learned the truth of the verse which begins this meditation.
He wrote many scholarly papers that were used in several institutions of higher learning. Yet one of the most memorable pieces that came from his pen was a simple hymn, ‘Alas! and Did My Savior Bleed.’
Fanny Crosby testified that this song helped her to find the Savior when “believing” became difficult. There are 15 hymns in our hymnal by Isaac Watts.

Meanwhile…1827…180 years ago…in the United States…

President: John Quincy Adams…V.P.: John C. Calhoun
Slavery was abolished in NY…freeing 10,000 slaves
Three Delmonico brothers open the ‘upscale’ restaurant, ‘Delmonico’s in NYC
Joseph Smith said he unearthed the ‘Book of Mormon’ at Hill Cumorah, near Palmyra

From Bud's World

June 17, 2007

Fathers…100 years ago, versus Today
100 years ago, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived…
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera

100 years ago, a father smoked a pipe…
If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer.

100 years ago, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, “Wake up, it’s time for school…
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting “Wake up, it’s time for hockey practice.”

100 years ago, a happy meal was when father shared funny stories around the table…
Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonalds.

100 years ago, fathers threatened their daughter’s suitors with a shotgun if the girl came home late…
Today, fathers break the ice by saying, “So…how long have you had that earring?”

100 years ago, fathers were never truly appreciated…
Today, fathers are never truly appreciated.

History of Father’s Day
Father’s Day, contrary to popular misconception, was not established as a holiday in order to help greeting card manufacturers sell more cards. In fact when a “father’s day” was first proposed, there were no Father’s Day Cards.
Mrs. John B. Dodd, of Washington State, first proposed the idea of a “father’s day” in 1909. Mrs. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart. William Smart, a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife (Mrs. Dodd’s mother) died in childbirth with their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other five children on a rural farm in eastern Washington State. It was after Mrs. Dodd became an adult that she realized the strength and selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent.
In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father’s Day.

Afraid of thunder…
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug, “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.”
A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice: “The big sissy!”

Today in history
(June 17)
1994 – O.J. Simpson’s Ford Bronco was pursued by police in the infamous “slow speed pursuit”
1963 – The U.S. Supreme Court banned the required reading of The Lord’s Prayer in public schools
1941 – WNBT – TV of NYC was granted the 1st permit in the U.S. for a commercial TV station
1885 – The Statue of Liberty arrived in New York City aboard the French ship ‘Isere’
1775 – The British took Bunker Hill from the Colonists during the Battle of Bunker Hill

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@yahoo.com
http://www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com/

What the used car ad "really" means! (Joke)

What the car ad claims . . . what it really means~

rough condition . . . too bad to lie about~

parts car . . . beyond repair~

immaculate . . . recently washed~

engine quiet . . . if you use 90-weight oil~

needs minor overhaul . . . needs engine~

needs major overhaul . . . phone the junkyard~

burns no oil . . . it all leaked out~

rebuilt engine . . . cleaned the spark plugs~

drive it away . . . I live on a hill~

drive it anywhere . . . within 10 miles~

desirable classic . . . no one wants it~

rare classic . . . no one wanted it even when it was new~

stored 20 years . . . in a farmer's field~

ran when stored . . . won't start

Church Bulletin Bloopers (Joke)

If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.
Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.
Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
Lent is that period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.

Sheridan Community Chorus @ The Grape Festival?

We have been asked to perform our patriotic musical: 'Spirit of America' at the 40th Grape Festival this year. The date requested is Friday, September 14.

We would be singing in the park in the middle of the Village of Silver Creek and would start singing around 6:00 pm. We need to be finished by 7:00 pm because the "grape stomping" begins at 7:00.

Let me know what you think! There is a "comment" box under this posting where you can leave your comments. Please take the time to give me your feedback.

Sheridan Commuunity Chorus (Schedule)

Rehearsals: Every Tuesday evening 7:00 - 8:30 pm @ Sheridan United Methodist Church.

Tuesday (6/26) 7:00 PM Dress rehearsal with Cattaraugus singers at Sheridan.

Sunday (7/1) 7:00 PM Concert @ Sheridan United Methodist Church (6:00 PM report).

Tuesday (7/10) 7:00 PM Dress rehearsal at Cattaraugus Christian Camp

Sunday (7/15) 3:00 PM Concert (2:00 PM Report) @ Cattaraugus Christian Camp

A Christian Puppy

A Baptist couple decide that they want to get a dog. As they are walking down the street in town, they notice that a sign in the pet shop is advertising "Christian Puppies." Their interest piqued, they go inside.

"How do you know they're Christian puppies?" "Watch," says the owner, as he takes one of the dogs and says, "Fetch the Bible." The dog runs over to the desk, and grabs the Bible in its mouth and returns. Putting the Bible on the floor, the owner says, "Find Psalm 23." The dog flips pages with its paw until he reaches the right page, and then stops.

Amazed and delighted, the couple purchase the dog and head home. That evening, they invite some friends over and show them the dog, having him run through his Psalm 23 routine. Impressed, one of the visitors asks "Does he also know 'regular' commands?"

"Gee, we don't know. We didn't ask," replies the husband. Turning to the dog, he says, "Sit." The dog sits. He says, "Lie down." The dog lies down. He says "Roll over." The dog rolls over. He says "Heel." The dog runs over to him, jumps up on the sofa, puts both paws on the owner's forehead and bows his head.

"Oh look!" the wife exclaims. "He's PENTECOSTAL!"

The Prisoner's Last Request (Joke)

Two men, sentenced to die on the same day, were led down to the room where the electric chair was. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants.
The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last time?" "Certainly," replied the warden.
He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?"
"Please," said the condemned man, "Kill me first."