Hymn titles by occupation ...

Dentist’s Hymn………………………….Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman’s Hymn……….There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor’s Hymn………………….The Church’s One Foundation
The Tailor’s Hymn……………………………………….Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer’s Hymn…………………………There’s a Green Hill Far Away
The Politician’s Hymn………………………….Standing on the Promises
Optometrist’s Hymn…………………..Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent’s Hymn………………………………..I Surrender All
The Gossiper’s Hymn…………………………………………..Pass It On
The Electrician’s Hymn……………………………………Send The Light
The Shopper’s Hymn………………………………..Sweet By and By
The Realtor’s Hymn…………………………….I’ve Got a Mansion
The Massage Therapists Hymn……………….He Touched Me
The Doctor’s Hymn………………………The Great Physician

AND for those who speed on the highway – a few hymns:

45mph……………………………God Will Take Care of You/
65mph…………………………Nearer My God To Thee
85mph…………………This World Is Not My Home
95mph………………….Lord, I’m Coming Home
100mph………………….Precious Memories

Sheridan Community Chorus ...

Everyone, who attended rehearsal last week should have their rehearsal Cd's ('PracticeTrax').
We'll hand out the music books at tomorrow night's chorus rehearsal at The First Baptist Church (32 Main Street in Silver Creek). WE NEED YOU!

Sheridan Community Chorus ...

Quick humor definition:

Conductor: A musician who is adept at following many people at the same time.

The Community Chorus rehearsals are every Tuesday evening @ 7:00 pm at The First Baptist Church (32 Main Street - Route 20 in Silver Creek - directly next door to the Petri Cookies office).

We are quickly preparing the patriotic musical: 'Our Flag Was Still There' for our 6/27/09 and 7/12/09 concerts.

Sheridan Communtiy Chorus ...

A LITTLE HUMOR:
What did the drummer ask the singer?
"Do you want this too fast or too slow?"*

Chorus rehearsals on Tuesday evenings (6/2, 6/9, 6/16, & 6/23) at 7:00 pm at The First Baptist Church (32 Main Street in Silver Creek).
WE NEED YOU!

Sheridan Community Chorus ...

2 patriotic musical performances:

Saturday, June 27 with an 8:00 pm start time. At the Willow Creek Winery (2627 Chapin Road in Sheridan).
The owner of Willow Creek Winery is estimating up to 10,000 in attendance (weather permitting!).

Sunday, July 12 with a 3:00 pm start time. At the Cattaraugus Christian Camp (9714 Leon Road - Rt. 353 & County Road 6 in Cattaraugus, NY).
If you've never seen the Cattaraugus Christian camp, it's beauty and charm are worth the trip!

Sheridan Community Chorus

We now have the first of four chorus rehearsals under our belt in preparation for our two upcoming patriotic concerts. We have 60 singers committed to sing in this chorus and the musical is a powerful and inspiring patriotic cantata.

Rehearsals are on Tuesdays: 6/2, 6/9, 6/16, & 6/23.

The concerts are:
Saturday, 6/27 @ 8:00 pm at the Willow Creek Winery in Sheridan.
Sunday, 7/12 @ 3:00 pm at the Cattaraugus Christian Camp.

Sheridan Community Chorus

We had our first chorus rehearsal last night at the First Baptist Church in Silver Creek. We had a great turn-out and have many more singers who couldn't make it last night.
Our new rehearsal home is fantastic! Thank you First Baptist Church for your hospitality.

And yes, we will have a bus available to transport the chorus members to/from the Willowfest concert on Saturday, June 27. Thank you Town of Sheridan!

See you at the next rehearsal on Tuesday, June 9 at First Baptist Church (32 Main Street in Silver Creek).

Sheridan Community Chorus

The first chorus rehearsal will be tomorrow (Tuesday, 6/2/09) at 7:00 pm at The First Baptist Church (32 Main Street Silver Creek, NY) next door to the Petri Cookies office.

We will be doing a run-through refresher of our patriotic cantata: Our 'Flag Was Still There.'

We need you!

Bud

Sheridan Community Chorus

The Sheridan Community Chorus will present the patriotic cantata: 'Our Flag Was Still There' with two concerts only.

Rehearsals will begin on Tuesday, June 2 @ 7:00 pm at The First Baptist Church of Silver Creek (32 Main Street / directly next door to the Petri Cookies office). Please enter through the rear entrance of the church. There is a church parking lot for your convenience. The first rehearsal will consist of viewing the DVD and a quick run - through.

Concerts:

Saturday, June 27 @ 8:00 pm at the Willow Creek Winery in Sheridan.
Sunday, July 12 @ 3:00 pm at the Cattaraugus Christian Camp (Cattaraugus, NY).

Convenient prayer ...

Sheridan Community Chorus

Only one week from the start of our chorus rehearsals.
We will start on Tuesday, June 2 at The First Baptist Church (32 Main Street - next door to the Petri Cookies office) in Silver Creek. ALL ARE INVITED!

WE NEED YOU!

Technology gone too far...

The new supermarket near our house uses all the cutting edge grocery technology. There's an automatic 'mister' in the produce section ... but just before it comes on, you hear the low rumble of distant thunder and an aroma-like fresh rain fills that corner of the store.
As you approach the dairy case, you hear cows softly lowing and you can smell freshly cut hay.
Down the canned vegetable aisle you can hear a hoe overturning the dirt and smell a good, earthy loam as you gaze at the corn and carrots and beans.
Down the bread aisle you get the aroma of freshly baked bread and can hear the sounds of a bakery hard at work.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.


Sheridan Community Chorus rehearsals begin on Tuesday, June 2, 2009 @ 7:00 pm at The First Baptist Church (32 Main Street, Silver Creek - directly next door to the Petri Cookies office). For all the basses, this is a new rehearsal location!!!!!!!
There is a church parking lot next to and behind the church. For convenience sake, please enter the rear entrance of the church.

Chorus concerts:
Saturday, June 26 @ 8:00 pm at Willow Creek Winery in Sheridan
Sunday, July 12 @ 3:00 pm at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp

Internet usage #101

REQUIRED COURSES FOR NEW INTERNET USERS

An Introduction to Things Everyone Else Has Already Seen
Sub-Title: Don't Forward This!

Two Paragraphs or Less: Writing An Email People Will Actually Read

The Improbabilities of receiving an email from a Nigerian Princess

Origins and Proper Use of the Caps Lock Key

Should I Forward This Email? Three Questions to Ask Yourself

Lose vs. Loose: The Eternal Struggle

Links You Should Never Click: The Advanced Class

You Are Not the 1,000,000,000 Visitor - Why You Didn't Win

The Psychology of Web Page Design, or "Don't Click That Ad!"

Sheridan Community Chorus

I now have the music for our patriotic musical: 'Our Flag Was Still There.'
The PracticeTrax cd's will be available the week of 5/11/09.
I would like to begin rehearsals the beginning of June in Silver Creek.
Would you please do me a favor and see if you still have your 'Our Flag Was Still There' book from last year?

I look forward to seeing you all again!!!!!!

Bud
tubamanbud@gmail.com

'Battle Hymns'

A battle arose between the Pastor and the Choir Director of The Lutheran Church of Grace. The first hint of trouble came when the Pastor preached on "dedicating yourselves to service" and the Choir Director chose to sing: "I Shall Not Be Moved."

Trying to believe it was a coincidence, the Pastor put the incident behind him. The next Sunday he preached on "giving." Afterwards, the choir squirmed as the director led them in the hymn: "Jesus Paid It All."

By this time, the Pastor was losing his temper. Sunday Morning attendance swelled as the tension between the two built. A large crowd showed up the next week to hear his sermon on "The sins of Gossiping." Would you believe the Choir Director selected "I Love To Tell The Story?"

There was no turning back. The following Sunday the Pastor told the congregation that unless something changed, he was considering resignation. The entire church gasped when the Choir Director led them in "Why Not Tonight?"

Truthfully, no one was surprised when the Pastor resigned a week later, explaining that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was leading him away. The Choir Director could not resist "What A Friend We Have In Jesus."

*The joke and characters in the joke are completely fictitious and any and all similarities between real characters and events is purely coincidental.*

Sheridan Community Chorus

The Sheridan Community Chorus will sing...

Saturday, June 27 @ 8:00 pm at the Willowfest pre-fireworks festivities. Willowfest is held at the Willow Creek Winery (2627 Chapin Road Sheridan, NY).

Sunday, July 12 @ 3:00 pm at the Cattaraugus Christian Camp (9714 Leon Road - Rt. 353 & County Road 6 in Cattaraugus, NY).

Chorus rehearsals will begin in the beginning of June at The First Baptist Church (32 Main Street in Silver Creek, NY) next door to the Petri Cookies office.

The meaning of 'Life'

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

The first 'swine flew' pandemic ...

Happy anniversary to the 'PIANO'

It was on this day way back in 1655 - let's see, that's 354 years ago - that a man named Bartolomeo Cristofori was born. Mr. Cristofori had at least one brilliant idea in his life: He replaced the string-plucking mechanisms on a harpsichord with levered devices called hammers. This allowed the player to adjust the volume of the instrument by applying more or less force to the hammer when played.

His original name for the new instrument was "Harpsichord-that-plays-soft-and-loud." (Well, no one said Bartolomeo was gifted in marketing.) As the instrument grew in popularity among musicians, the name was shortened to just "soft-loud" and eventually just "soft."
In Italian, the word for "soft" is "piano."

Sheridan Community Chorus

We have been offered the use of the facilities at First Baptist Church in Silver Creek for our chorus rehearsals. The church would like to have our chorus present our patriotic musical. Would you be available to sing with us on Friday, July 3 @ 7:00 pm or on Sunday, July 5 @ 6:00 pm in Silver Creek?
Would you please let me know if you're available?

Our patriotic concert series plans so far include...

Saturday, June 27, 2009 @ 8:00 pm at the Willowfest pre-fireworks. This is held at The Willowcreek Winery: 2627 Chapin Road in Sheridan, NY.

Sunday, July 13, 2009 @ 3:00 pm at the Cattaraugus County Christian Camp (9714 Leon Road - Rt. 353 & County Road 6) in Cattaraugus, NY.

Thanks,
Bud

Sheridan Community Chorus...

Yes, we have a new "rehearsal home!"
The pastor and members of the First Baptist Church of Silver Creek have offered their facility as our new rehearsal home.
The church is located at 32 Main Street in the Village of Silver Creek, NY next door to the Petri Cookie office. It has a parking lot and the rear entrance is handicap accessible.
I want to thank Pastor Rob Sheldon and the members of the church for their wonderful offer of hospitality.

Bud

Three old couples were having tea one fine day. There were all chatting and whatnot when one of the men, trying to get a chuckle, said to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey!” Getting the chuckle he expected, he carried on.

A moment later, the second man said, "Pass the sugar, sugar!" This got a bit of a bigger laugh, so the third man, although not quite as clever or quick-witted as the other two, decided to join in the fun. He waited for the perfect opportunity, cleared his throat and then confidently said, "Pass the tea, bag!"

How do you want to be remembered?

Three good friends were driving along on the highway one Saturday: a doctor, a teacher, and a lawyer. All of a sudden, a brand-new SUV cut them off. In an attempt to miss the shiny big vehicle, the driver swerved to the left and hit the median. The car flipped several times and all three friends died instantly.

They all found themselves in line waiting to get into Heaven. The doctor asked the others, "Hey, what do you want people to say at your funeral? I want them to say, 'She was a great doctor, and she never let down any of her patients.'"

The teacher said, "I want people to remember me as a great educator, so I would want to hear people say, 'He was a wonderful teacher, a great role model for children, and he changed countless lives throughout his career.'"

Then the lawyer said, "I'd like people to say, 'Look! He's moving!'"

Willowfest (6/26 - 6/27) Sheridan, NY

Willowfest -
Friday, June 26 from 4pm - 12 midnight
Saturday, June 27 from 12pm - 12am
[FROM THE WILLOWCREEK WINERY WEB PAGE]

It’s that time of year again, time for Willowfest, Friday June 26, and Saturday June 27.

There is something for everyone at Willowfest this year. There will be over 30 different crafters, including stained glass and jewelry from the Creation Station, hand crafted wine bottled covers by Bottle Boutique, purses and caps by Purses by Danniel and hot sauces, salsa, BBQ sauce and rubs by Burning Asphalt.

No coolers please. There are plenty of choices for eats and drinks at Willowfest so please help us keep this event FREE! There is something for each and every taste bud – Taylor’s offers Ice cream, brownies, fried dough and pastries, Louie’s has hot dogs, Franklin’s will have corn on the cob, kettle corn, cotton candy and caramel apples, Fowlers will have candy apples and taffy, Jim’s will have blooming onions, Ross’s will have Italian sausage, hamburgers and Philly cheesesteaks, among many, many more.

Music will fill the air all weekend at Willowfest. There will be a DJ from 3pm – 5pm on Friday night, followed by Crash Cadillac, taking the stage from 5pm – 9pm. The following day, there will a DJ from noon – 2pm, Elvis impersonator Terry Buchwald from 2pm – 4pm, Free Henry from 4:30 – 7, then Sheridan Community Choir will finish off the night from 8:00 -9:00 pm.
No shortage of events at Willowfest either! A fireman’s hose race will be held Friday night at 6pm, and there will be amusement park style rides and games as well all weekend, with a ride special on Saturday from noon until 4pm. There will also be fireworks both nights starting at dusk!

Admission and parking for Willowfest are free! It’s recommended to arrive by 7pm because it fills up fast and after 7pm it will be harder to find parking and get into the festival.

True male friendship...

Are you tired of those Sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, let's try this my way...just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad, I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared, we will high tail it out of here.


5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay away from me until you are well again...I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you trip and fall, I'll pick you up and dust you off--After I laugh my head off!

This is my oath...I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask...because you are my FRIEND!
[thanks to by Kevin Miller]

Easter

Jesus came to earth,
To show us how to live,
How to put others first,
How to love and how to give.

Then He set about His work,
That God sent Him to do;
He took our punishment on Himself;
He made us clean and new.

He could have saved Himself,
Calling angels from above,
But He chose to pay our price for sin;
He paid it out of love.

Our Lord died on Good Friday,
But the cross did not destroy
His resurrection on Easter morn
That fills our hearts with joy.

Now we know our earthly death,
Like His, is just a rest.
We'll be forever with Him
In heaven, where life is best.

So we live our lives for Jesus,
Think of Him in all we do.
Thank you Savior; Thank you Lord.
Help us love like you!

By Joanna Fuchs

Good Friday...

Imagine you're on a bus riding down from the top of the mountains out west on a very narrow barely-big-enough-for-your-vehicle winding road. You're in the back with all of your friends ... reading, laughing, making calls, texting, talking, having a great time.

Suddenly you see - from seemingly out of nowhere - a small boy start to dart across the road, directly in the path of the bus.

The bus driver has three choices. He can veer to the right, careening into the side of the mountain, killing you and all of your fellow passengers, but saving the life of the child. Or he can swerve sharply to the left and plunge off the edge of the road, bringing instant death for everyone on the bus but again, saving the boy. Or he can do the unthinkable and run the child down, but save the life of everyone on the bus.

As the bus driver slams on the brakes, you can feel the small body crumpled by the weight of the massive bus. As the dust clears and the smell of scorched rubber fills the air, the bus driver sits in tears. You approach him and try to offer some small comfort. "Don't cry," you say. "You're a hero. I have a wife and two kids. We all have families. You've saved us all!"

The bus driver turns to you and whispers, "You don't understand. That boy was my son."
God is the bus driver. And that's the choice He made. The one we commemorate this day, Good Friday.

The definition of 'Motherhood'

Christian author and speaker Tony Campolo tells a story from the days when his wife, Peggy, was at home full-time with their children.

When someone would ask, "And what is it that you do, dear?"

Peggy would reply, "I am socializing two homo sapiens into the dominant values of the Judeo-Christian tradition in order that they might be instruments for the transformation of the social order into the kind of eschatological utopia that God willed from the beginning of creation."

Then Peggy would ask the other person, "And what do you do?"

Just my luck...

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline...


Got a freaking' call center in Pakistan . I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck..

Marital Bliss...

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh! We’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts.

He communicates really well, and I just act like I'm listening."

Kid Humor #101

When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' Don't answer.

Never tell your Mom her diet's not working.

Stay away from prunes.

Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to.

Never leave your three-year-old brother in the same room as your school assignment.

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.

Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

Jewish Marching Band

NEW HOLIDAY SUGGESTIONS...

MY SUGGESTIONS FOR NEW FEDERAL HOLIDAYS

January 2 – NATIONAL ‘RETURN TO EATING JUNK FOOD’ DAY

February 3 – NATIONAL ‘GROUNDHOG STEW’ DAY

February 15 – NATIONAL ‘EATING CROW DAY’ (CELEBRATED MOSTLY BY FORGETFUL MEN)

March 18 – NATIONAL ‘TAKE YOUR HAND OUT OF YOUR FRENCH HORN BELL’ DAY

April 13 –NATIONAL ‘HIDE YOUR CONDUCTOR’S BATON’ DAY

June 17 – NATIONAL ‘SEE IF A FLUTE FLOATS’ DAY

June 18 – NATIONAL ‘SUPER GLUE A TROMBONE SLIDE’ DAY

August 11 - NATIONAL 'CUT DRUM STICKS IN HALF' DAY

September 5 – NATIONAL ‘BREAK A CLARINET REED’ DAY

November 1 – NATIONAL ‘SWITCH THE VALVES ON A TRUMPET’ DAY

November 27 – NATIONAL ‘HIDE A SAXOPHONE’ DAY

December 13 – NATIONAL ‘LOOSEN THE STRINGS ON A VIOLIN’ DAY

Dec 24 – NATIONAL ‘HUG A TUBA PLAYER’ DAY

Happy April Fool’s Day…Bud

TEE SHIRT SLOGANS

I'm on Debt Row.




My Search Engine ran out of gas.




Figment of my own imagination.





Denial is a good thing if used correctly.




I do all of my own stunts.




This body best viewed with Internet Explorer 6.0 or higher.




Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.





We got rid of the kids - the cat was allergic.