Thought for the day

"The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it."

Doris Day

Today's Funny

What NOT to give her for Valentines Day:

1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.

2. Lingerie that you think will look almost as good on her as on the Victoria's Secret model.

3. Any clothing item with the words "push-up" or "slim-down" on the label.

4. Any food item with the words "diet", "light", or "high fiber" on the label.

5. Any video starring Sylvester Stallone, Jim Carrey, or Angelina Jolie.

6. Flowers from a hospital's gift shop--or worse, a mortuary's.

7. Poetry, no matter how heartfelt, that starts out "There was once a girl from Nantucket..."

8. Anything you ever gave another woman, including your mother.

9. Any household appliance, power tool or other item from the harder side of Sears.

10. A gift certificate.

11. Cash.

12. Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn't.

13. An apologetic look and the words "That was today?"

~ Mikey's Funnies

Thought for the day

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we have of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.

Quentin Crisp

Today's Funny

A minister’s widow, who was old-fashioned, was going camping for a week in California. She was nervous about the bathroom facilities and decided to write a letter to the campground owner. But as she was writing, she couldn't bring herself to write “toilet.” After much thought, the widow settled on "bathroom commode,” but when she wrote the word, it still sounded too coarse. Instead, she referred to the bathroom commode as "BC.”

So she began to write...

"Does the cabin where I will be staying have its own BC? If not, where is the BC located?"

In the process of filing, the campground owner lost the first page of the letter. Without noticing, he left the remainder of the letter on the desk of his staff manager who found the letter and was baffled by the acronym.

When he asked his wife what BC meant, she remembered the widow’s husband was once a famous Baptist preacher. "Oh, of course!” exclaimed the staff member. “BC stands for 'Baptist Church!'"

He immediately wrote a response to the widow’s letter:

Dear Madam, I apologize for the delay in answering your letter, but I have the pleasure of informing you that the BC is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it.

They usually arrive early and stay late. The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now there is a fundraiser planned to buy more seats for the basement of the BC. I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my part. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather.

If you decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time, sit with you, and introduce you to all the folks.

Remember, this is a friendly community.

Best wishes,

Ethan SmithCampground Manager

Today's Funny

A pastor, a rabbi, and a priest all walk into a bar.

The bartender rolls his eyes and says, "Oh no...Not this joke again!"

~ Mikey's Funnies

Super Bowl Party

We had a great Super Bowl party last night at Golando's home.

I do believe by the reactions at the end of the game that there were more Giants fans than Patriots fans.

I was shocked at Lisa's vitriolic comments.

From the Choir loft

The S.U.M. Choir will sing the following anthems:

2/3: 'I Just came to Praise the Lord'
2/10: 'No Other Word For Grace But Amazing'
2/17: 'All Hail The Power'
2/24: 'All Hail The Power of Jesus' Name'

Why not plan to join us? No auditions necessary.

Rehearsals:
Sunday 10:00 am warm-up / 11:30 - 12:00 noon
Tuesdays: 6:45 - 7:15 pm

Today's Funny

A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A reporter has seen the whole scene, and addressing the biker, says "Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life."
"Why, it was nothing said the biker, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and did what I thought was right."
"I noticed a patch on your jacket" said the journalist.
"Yeah I ride with a Christian motorcycle club," the biker replies.
"Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow papers will have this on the front page. " The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on first page:

BIKER GANG MEMBER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH!

Sheridan Community Chorus

13 rehearsals left before our Easter musical
performance on Palm Sunday, March 16 at Sheridan United Methodist Church in Sheridan, NY.

Rehearsals are at The Sheridan United Methodist Church (2679 E. Main Road [Route 20] in Sheridan, NY...

Every Tuesday evenings 7:15 - 8:30 PM
Every Thursday evenings 7:00 - 8:30 PM

Windy, wild, wicked weather

The story for today was the weather.

The high temperature overnight last night was 53 degrees and then dropped like a rock into the teens. Wind gusts around 55 mph and a report in Buffalo of a wind gust up to 80 mph.

But...miracle of all miracles...we never lost power. Usually, all it takes around here to lose power is a pedestrian to walk into one of the power poles and we're without power for half a day. We got off lucky.

This is where I am blogging from right now.

All you need is a wireless modem, then wait for the winds to die down.

Just Wondering...

If you were to kill your 'clone,'
Would you be charged with murder or suicide?

Bud's World

Totally useless information:
A snail can sleep for three years.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

From the Choir Loft
Here I go again! I need you! I need your help! By now, you’re probably bored of hearing me repeat it over and over, but it’s true! We can’t minister without volunteers. We need people to sacrifice their time to enable us to minister in music. Do you have an hour/week to donate to our ministry? If you do, I guarantee that you will be blessed as you minister to residents at The Lakeshore Nursing facility. You’ll get a “warm feeling” when you shake the hands of the residents at St. Columban’s. You’ll get a different perspective of the Christmas season as you meet the members of the audience during our many Christmas musicals. I promise you that I will make the experience as exciting as I possibly can. But the real blessing will come from the fact that you will be ministering to many souls. Rehearsals are brief and fast-paced. They are immediately following the morning service and Tuesday evenings from 6:45 – 7:15. We would love to have you join us! No auditions required!

Wit or Wisdom:
“Go the extra mile. It’s never crowded.”
~ Unknown
“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”
~ Corrie Ten Boom
“I’m an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
~ Mark Twain
“A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.”
~ Unknown

Today in history
January 27

1991 – The NY Giants beat The Buffalo Bills 20 – 19 in Super Bowl XXV in the “Wide Right” game
1984 – Michael Jackson was burned while filming a Pepsi commercial
1977 – The 1st broadcast of the mini-series ‘Roots’ shown on ABC - TV
1967 – The Apollo 1 fire killed astronauts Grissom, White & Chaffee
1961 – ‘Sing Along with Mitch’ (Miller) premiered on NBC – TV
1944 – The city of Leningrad was liberated from Germany lasting 880 days (600,000 casualties)
1943 – The 1st U.S. air strike on Germany took place during WW II
1927 – The Harlem Globetrotters played their 1st game
1918 – ‘Tarzan of the Apes,’ the 1st ‘Tarzan’ film, premiered at the Broadway Theater
1880 – Thomas Edison received a patent for the electric incandescent lamp

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Hospital 911

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Michael's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302." The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse."

After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone, "Oh, good news. Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr.Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday."

The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news."

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me anything!"

~Mikey's Funnies

The true meaning of the B.I.B.L.E.

A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"

His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?"

The son replied, "I do know!"

"Okay," said his father. "So, son, what does the Bible mean?"

"That's easy, Daddy. It stands for 'Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.'"

~ Mikey's Funnies

Super Bowl Party (2/3/08)

Sunday, February 3 starting time is 5:30 pm.

At Sheridan United Methodist Church

2679 East Main Road (Route 20)

Sheridan, NY 14135

Large screen TV

Powerful speakers

Super Bowl Trivia Quiz

Super Bowl Half-time commericals game

Family friendly / alcohol free

Bring a snack or soda

Wear your favorite teams' jersey

Today's Funny

A newly widowed man stood at the cemetery next to his wife's casket.

When the graveside service had just terminated, there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder.

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."

Going down memory lane...

A friend sent this to me.

It's great to go back down memory lane once in a while.

Turn up your speakers & click on the link:

http://oldfortyfives.com/DYRT.htm

Thought for the day

The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated.

~ Oscar Wilde

Today's Funny

80 YEAR OLD MARRIES FOR THE 4TH TIME

The local news station was interviewing an 80 year old lady because she had just gotten married again for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
'He's a funeral director,' she answered. 'Interesting,' the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'

Sheridan Community Chorus

The chorus rehearsal for tonight (1/22/08) has been cancelled due to poor weather conditions.
The next rehearsal will be Thursday(1/24/08) evening @ 7:00 pm.