Today's Funny

The Mule, the Dog, the Monkey & The Man

God created the mule, and told him, "You are mule. You will work constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years." The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so.

Then God created the dog, and told him, "You are dog. You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years." The dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 years." And it was so.

God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years." The monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no than 10 years." And it was so.

Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years." The man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord; give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected."

And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grandchildren. And it is so ...

New members needed

Have you invited someone to join the chorus?
The Sheridan Community Chorus invite new members to join at each and every rehearsal at The Sheridan United Methodist church (2679 Route 20) in Sheridan, NY. The Sheridan Community Chorus is a non-auditioned, volunteer chorus.
Membership requirements are a good sense of humor, an intense love of music and the ability to carry a tune.

No auditions required...No credit check necessary...No previous experience necessary.

Today's Funny

A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years.

Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man.

After awhile the sailor asks, "What are those three huts you have here?"

"Well, that's my house there."

"What's that next hut?" asks the sailor.

"I built that hut to be my church."

"What about the other hut?"

"Oh, that's where I used to go to church."

Gasoline funny

Sheridan Community Chorus (week of 5/11/08)

Rehearsals: Tuesday (5/13/08)

7:15 - 8:30 PM

Thursday (5/15/08)

7:00 - 8:30 PM

at Sheridan United Methodist church

2679 Route 20 in Sheridan, NY

From Bud's World

Happy Mother’s Day

A Daughter’s Prayer
A mother was teaching her 3 year old daughter the Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end
"Lead us not into temptation" she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail, Amen."

Trivia about Motherhood...
There are 84 million moms in the U.S.
About 4 million women will have babies this year.
Mother's Day is the third-largest card-sending holiday.
Mother's Day is the busiest day of the year for restaurants.
August is the most popular month in which to have a baby.
The odds of a woman delivering twins is 1-in-33. Her odds of having triplets is approximately 1-in-539.
The median age of a woman giving birth for the first time in the U.S. is 24.8.
Daughters keep in closer contact with their mothers than do sons. (Pew Research)
There are more phone calls made on Mother's Day than on any other day of the year. (Pew Research)
Kentucky has the highest percentage of women who are mothers at 67%. The national average is 57%.
While nearly 80 percent of Americans will buy a card for mom this year, 83 percent of the cards will be purchased by daughters. (American Greetings)

Wit or Wisdom?
“The phrase 'working mother’ is redundant.”
~ Jane Sellman
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper!”

When Mom’s gone, she’s not forgotten
Don't think of her as gone away, her journey's just begun. Life holds so many facets this earth is only one. Just think of her as resting, from the sorrows and the tears. In a place of warmth and comfort, where there are no days and years. Think how she must be wishing, that we could know, today. Now nothing but our sadness can really pass away. And think of her as living, in the hearts of those she touched. For nothing loved is ever lost, and she is loved so very much

Mother’s Day Trivia
Perhaps the country's strongest proponent of motherhood, Anna Jarvis ironically never had children of her own. Yet that didn't stop her from making the celebration of Mother's Day her lifelong mission. In fact, as the holiday took on a life of its own, Jarvis expressed frequent dismay over its growing commercialization. “I wanted it to be a day of sentiment, not profit,” she is quoted as saying.

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates:
http://www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com/

Today's Funny

The Twenty and the One

A well-worn one dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.

The twenty dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the county. "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean."

"Wow!" said the one dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!"

"So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?"

The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Presbyterian Church, the Lutheran Church ..."

The twenty dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"

A Gasoline Funny

Church Choir on Mother's Day (5/11)

This Sunday is Mother's Day (5/11/08).

During the Mother's Day service at Sheridan United Church, our choir will sing: 'Faith of our Mothers.' We are asking all the singers to bring their children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces or 'young friends' to join the choir in this tribute to all members. The kids don't necessarily have to sing along, but we'll take any contributions by the kids (and I know that can be dangerous!).

We would love to have you join us. The song is a very simple 4 part arrangement and you could sight read it with us.

Consider this an invitation to join us as we honor all mothers.

We will rehearse the piece in the Sheridan United Methodist Church sanctuary at 10:00 am.

A Mother's creed...

"I'd like to be the ideal Mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids."

Bud

Mother's Day Funnies

A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does.

The next day in a written test, she included this question: "My full name has six letters. The first one is 'M.' I am strong and attractive. I pick up things. What am I?"

When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the word "Mother."

Today's Funny

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

What do you think your Mom and Dad have in common?
"Both don’t want no more kids." ~Lori, age 8

Sheridan Community Chorus video link

We are planning to show a video before each of our patriotic concert performances titled: 'Do You Remember Me?' by Lizzie Palmer. I feel that it is a powerful tribute to our members of the armed forces who have served and are presently serving overseas.

I have included a link so you can see it. It is a U-tube link, so after a period of time, it may not work. If this happens to you when try to use this link, do a "Google search" for "Do You Remember Me?" and the search will send you to a active link.

I think you'll see why we will show this at our concerts.

http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=ervaMPt4Ha0

Sheridan Community Chorus

I was thrilled last Friday (5/2/08) when I was approached by Dr. Kate Levy of the School of Music @ SUNY Fredonia immediately before our band concert at Fredonia High School.

She said that she would like to sing with our Sheridan Community Chorus for our patriotic performances. I was almost speechless! (yes, me!)

I am honored that Dr. Levy will be joining our chorus.

Bud's World (5/4/08)

Following the Scripture...

Bud was experiencing a very tough time in his life. He felt his faith slipping and was desperate. He pulled out his Bible and decided to randomly open it up to get a word from God. So he flipped pages and stopped at Matthew 27:5, which says, “Judas went out and hanged himself.” He thought he'd try it again and Luke 10:37 came up, where Jesus said, “Go and do thou likewise.” So he quickly flipped to another verse and landed on John 13:27, which says, “What you are about to do, do quickly.”
Now you know how Bud became a church musician.

I was just wondering…
If a fly lost its wings, would it then be called a “walk?”
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
When sign makers go on strike is there anything written on their signs?

Bud’s Bass Humor
The symphony orchestra was performing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. In the piece, there's a long passage, about 20 minutes, during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around that whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.
After slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch and said, “Hey! We need to get back!” “No need to panic,” said a fellow bassist. “I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled.” A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra.
About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and mentioned it to her companion. “Well, of course,” said her companion. “Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded.”

Wit or Wisdom?
“Too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold.”

~ Maurice Setter
“No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.”

~Lily Tomlin
“In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.”

~ Rita Rudner

Today in History
May 4
1970 – 4 were killed in a riot at Kent State University
1942 – Food was rationed for the 1st time in the United States
1923 – New York State revoked prohibition
1626 – Native Americans sold Manhattan Island for $24 in cloth and buttons

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates:
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

You are cordially invited

You are cordially invited to join The Sheridan Community Chorus. This is one of the most exciting, fastest growing, most talented choruses in Sheridan, NY. Some consider this chorus one of the most potent and vital choral influences in Sheridan today. The chorus will be singing in front of an estimated 6,000 people during its patriotic concerts in June/July of 2008.

The chorus rehearses at The Sheridan United Methodist Church (2679 Route 20) in Sheridan, NY 14135. Rehearsals are Tuesday evenings 7:15 - 8:30 pm and Thursday evenings 7:00 - 8:30 pm. No auditions necessary. Members are asked only to make as many rehearsals as possible.

PracticeTrax CD's are supplied to each singer. PracticeTrax™ are a great way to teach individual voice parts to choir members. Each PracticeTrax contains the recording of the entire musical with the specific choir member's part louder than the others, so you can rehearse your part at home.

For more information contact Bud @ (716) 934-7734 (tubamanbud@gmail.com)

Today's Funny

Moving Testimony

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven. There, they are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning, what would you like to hear them say about you?"

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, 'Look! He's moving!'"

The Sheridan Community Chorus project

If each chorus member invites two people to join our chorus, we will reach the magical number of 100 singers.

What will happen when we reach the magical number of 100 singers?

The birds will sing louder, the sun will shine brighter, your children will be more polite, the mpg of your car will increase, your flowers will bloom longer, your boss will appreciate you, and Bud will get a pleasant personality.

We need your help!

The 100 voice chorus

1 chorus member invites 2 people to join the chorus = 1 very happy conductor

Choir & Chorus rehearsal was great

We had a great choir & chorus rehearsal last night at Sheridan United Methodist church.

Choir: Tues. 6:45 - 7:15 Chorus: Tues. 7:15 - 8:30 & Thurs. 7:00 - 8:30

We had a very strong turn out and more people are joining our ranks. Remember, our goal is to have 100 singers for our patriotic musical in June and July! I know we can do it together.

I need everyone to invite two people to join the chorus. Most of them will have a great time. The ones who won't, weren't really your friend anyway. (Just kidding!)

We have now been asked to sing at 8 separate venues. I will have to go back to taking vitamins.

Please listen to your PracticeTrax everyday you can.

I thank all of you for your continued support.

Bud

Choir / Chorus schedule

The church choir rehearses Tuesday nights from 6:45 - 7:15 pm

The Sheridan Community Chorus rehearses Tuesday nights from 7:15 - 8:30 pm

and rehearses Thursday nights from 7:00 - 8:30 pm.

All rehearsals are at Sheridan United Methodist church (2679 Route 20 Sheridan, NY 14135)