The Perfect Pastor 
A RECENT SURVEY HAS COMPILED ALL THE QUALITIES THAT PARISHIONERS EXPECT FROM THE “PERFECT PASTOR.” RESULTS OF A COMPUTERIZED SURVEY INDICATE THE PERFECT PASTOR…
preaches exactly 12 minutes, frequently condemns sin but never “upsets” anyone, works from 8 a.m. until midnight, is also a janitor, makes $60 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car, gives about $80 a week to the poor, is approximately 28 years of age, has been preaching for 30 years, gives completely of herself but never gets too close to anyone in order to avoid criticism, speaks boldly on social issues but never becomes politically involved, has a burning desire to work with teenagers, spends much of her time with senior citizens, makes 15 daily calls to parish families, visits shut-ins and the hospitalized, evangelizes the unchurched, and is always in the office when needed.
A RECENT SURVEY HAS COMPILED ALL THE QUALITIES THAT PARISHIONERS EXPECT FROM THE “PERFECT PASTOR.” RESULTS OF A COMPUTERIZED SURVEY INDICATE THE PERFECT PASTOR…
GOOD LUCK TO ALL PASTORS!
From the Choir Loft
New Year’s has traditionally been a time for looking back to the past, and more importantly, looking forward to the New Year and making resolutions to improve. So in an effort to help, I have listed the top 10 resolutions found in a recent survey followed by some helpful suggestions.
Top 10 Resolutions:
1. Spend more time with family & friends. Join the choir and we will be your musical “friends.”
2. Schedule periods of exercise. I will include periods of calisthenics during each choir rehearsal. 3. Lose weight. We don’t allow eating during choir rehearsals.
4. Quit smoking. We don’t allow smoking during choir rehearsals.
5. Enjoy life more. Choir members always enjoy the end of choir rehearsals.
6. Quit drinking. We don’t allow drinking during choir rehearsals.
7. Get out of debt. You can’t shop if you’re at choir rehearsal.
8. Learn something new. We’ll teach you a new rhythm each week.
9. Help others. You will be helping me.
10. Get organized. We need a librarian to organize our music.
(See you in choir.)
I was just wondering…
Does a fish get cramps after eating?
Is “atheism” a non-prophet organization?
If cheese is made of milk, why is it yellow?
Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
If a person can be “discombobulated,” can they be “combobulated?”
Why do they say new and improved? It can’t be new if it was improved, can it?
Were drive-in banks established so most of the cars today could see their real owners?
Why is there a “permanent press” setting on an iron, when you can’t permanently press anything?
If it’s zero degrees today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow how cold is it going to be?
Does a fish get cramps after eating?
Is “atheism” a non-prophet organization?
If cheese is made of milk, why is it yellow?
Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
If a person can be “discombobulated,” can they be “combobulated?”
Why do they say new and improved? It can’t be new if it was improved, can it?
Were drive-in banks established so most of the cars today could see their real owners?
Why is there a “permanent press” setting on an iron, when you can’t permanently press anything?
If it’s zero degrees today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow how cold is it going to be?
Today in history 
January 6
1967 – “The Milton Berle Show” last aired on ABC-TV
1963 – “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom” with Marlin Perkins began on NBC
1759 – George Washington married Martha Dandridge Curtis
Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: mailto:tubamanbud@yahoo.com
http://www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com/
January 6
1967 – “The Milton Berle Show” last aired on ABC-TV
1963 – “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom” with Marlin Perkins began on NBC
1759 – George Washington married Martha Dandridge Curtis
Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: mailto:tubamanbud@yahoo.com
http://www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com/
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