Buffalo Bills fans...

The New York State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into Buffalo. For the first offense, they give you two Buffalo Bills tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Buffalo Bills

Q. What do the Buffalo Bills and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

Q. How do you keep the Buffalo Bills out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.

Q. Where do you go in Buffalo in case of a tornado?
A. To the Ralph Wilson Stadium - they never have a touchdown there!

Q. What do you call a Buffalo Bill with a Super Bowl ring?
A. A thief.

Q. What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q. How many Buffalo Bills does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. Nobody knows and we may never find out.

Q. What do the Buffalo Bills and a possum have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Elf Pet Peeves...

~ Ever since they hit the big time, those Keebler Elves act like we don't exist.

~ Santa keeps asking, "Does this suit make me look fat?"

~ Blitzen always mistaking you for a chew toy.

~ Next to "race" on the census forms, there's never a box marked "elf."

~ Health plan doesn't cover sleigh rash.

[Mikey's Funnies]

Christmas songs brain teaser #1 (Answers)

The following words are alternate titles for several well-known Christmas
carols: ANSWERS:

Quadruped with crimson proboscis: 'Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer'

5 p.m. to 6 a.m. without noise: 'Silent Night'

Minuscule hamlet in the far east: 'O Little Town of Bethlehem'

Ancient benevolent despot: 'Good King Wenceslas' (or some believe in Jolly Old
St. Nicholas)'

Adorn the vestibule: 'Deck the Halls'

Exuberance directed to the planet: 'Joy to the World'

Listen, aerial spirits harmonizing: 'Hark the Herald Angels Sing'

Yonder in the haystack: 'Away in a Manger'

Assemble, everyone who believes: 'Come All Ye Faithful'

Hallowed post meridian: 'O Holy Night'

Fantasies of a colorless December 25th: 'I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas'

Tin tintinnabulums: 'Silver Bells'

A dozen 24-hour Yule periods: 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'

Befell during the transparent bewitching hour: 'It Came Upon a Midnight Clear'

Homo sapien of crystallized vapor: 'Frosty the Snowman'

I merely desire a pair of incisors: 'All I want for Christmas is My Two Front
Teeth'

I spied my maternal parent osculating a fat man in red: 'I Saw Mama Kissing
Santa Claus'

Perambulating through a December solstice fantasy: 'Walking Through a Winter
Wonderland'

Aloft on the acme of the abode: 'Up on the Rooftop'

Christmas songs brain teaser #1

CHRISTMAS SONG TEST - 1
The following words are alternate titles for several well-known Christmas carols:


Quadruped with crimson proboscis:

5 p.m. to 6 a.m. without noise:

Miniscule hamlet in the far east:

Ancient benevolent despot:

Adorn the vestibule:

Exuberance directed to the planet:

Listen, aerial spirits harmonizing:

Monarchial trio:

Yonder in the haystack:

Assemble, everyone who believes:

Hallowed post meridian:

Fantasies of a colorless December 25th:

Tin tintinnabulums:

A dozen 24-hour yule periods:

Befell during the transparent bewitching hour:

Homo sapien of crystallized vapor:

I merely desire a pair of incisors:

I spied my maternal parent osculating a fat man in red:

Perambulating through a December solstice fantasy:

Aloft on the acme of the abode:

(Answers tomorrow!) I'll bet you don't get them all right!

Christmas Holiday Fact Guide...

Did You Know?

Did you know that Christmas is the largest card-sending holiday in the United States? More than 1.9 billion cards are sent to family and friends every year -- one billion more than the 192 million cards given or sent on Valentine's Day, the nation's second largest card holiday.



Did you know that December 19th is the busiest mailing day of the year? The U.S. Postal Service delivers some 20 billion letters, packages and cards between Thanksgiving and Christmas, with December 19th seeing double the number of parcels than any other day of the year.



Did you know that as many as 30 million live (real) Christmas trees are sold every year in the United States? In 2004, live Christmas tree sales amounted to more than $506 billion in revenue for America's 22,000 tree farms. The state leader in Christmas tree production is Oregon, with sales of $143 million.

Strange Christmas facts...

Based on a 1999 estimated population count of North America and Europe, on Christmas Eve of that year Santa Claus had to visit 42,466,666 homes in a 12-hour period -- that's 983 homes per second.

Great Quotes...

"There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity."
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
~ Johnny Carson

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
~ Fred Allen

"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."
~ Mark Twain

"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year."
~Anonymous

"Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable."
~ Fran Lebowitz

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

~ M. Kathleen Casey

"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?"

~ Anonymous

Thank you

for all the birthday greetings!
Yes, it's my birthday today!

Thank you...

From Bud's World

Director of Purchasing: Lois Bidder Instrument repairman: Anita Hammer Attorney: Gil T. Azell

A look back at Christmas in the ‘Good old days’ - A Christmas ad in Dunkirk Dunkirk Evening Observer (Wednesday, December 23, 1925)




















“Nickel Plite Grocery Wm Prop Successor to Henderson Grocery We Deliver 801 Phone 2019 Fancy Mixed Nuts Fine Large Filberts In Almonds English Walnuts Fancy Fruits and Mild and Snappy Swiss Cheese American Gieese Pimento N Xew Bulk Mince Meat Sweet Cider Rite Soap Chips Fancy Naval Oranges Kellogg's Corn Flake pkg Fancy Apples Spys Baldwins and Greenings pk If IT I SERVICE QUALITY Low PRICES 323 MAin STREET CHRISTMAS GIFT SUGGESTIONS FOR YOUR MOTHER SISTER DAUGHTER FRIEND FUR-TRIMMED COATS...” (Does this Christmas ad make sense to you?)

From the Choir Loft
Everyone is invited (adults and children) to join us on Tuesday, 12/16/08 @ 6:45 pm @ St. Columban’s On The Lake (2545 Lake Road – Route 5) in Sheridan. “Singers” as well as non-singers are welcome. You will be blessed as you bless the residents of St. Columban’s. I am promised that “Buddy” the golden retriever will be there!

'The Chipmunk Song’
Ross Bagdasarian was a novelty song writer making a living writing quirky songs. He had one major triumph – he had written the bizzaro hit, ‘Come Onna my House’ for Rosemary Clooney in 1951. He loved the dials, buttons, little gauges and lights in the recording studio and liked to experiment with them. By deliberately recording at the slowest speed possible on his reel-to-reel tape recorder, he found he could sing normally, and then sound like a freak on helium if he sped the recording to normal speed during playback. He created 3 characters who sang harmony, sped the tape up, and Viola! The Chipmunks were born! The ‘Chipmunk Song,’ released for the Christmas season in 1958, sold 5 million copies that year, and the song received 2 Grammy Awards in 1958.

#1 Songs on this date in history
December 7
1969 – Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye’ (Steam)
1942 – ‘White Christmas’ (Bing Crosby)
1919 – ‘Oh! What a Pal Was Mary’ (Henry Burr)

History of Christmas Toys Timeline: ‘Play-Doh’























Question from last week:
In 1956, Joe McVicker becomes a millionaire before his 27th birthday when he realizes his wallpaper cleaner will make an excellent toy. What toy is it?
Answer: Non-toxic and less messy than regular modeling clay, Play-Doh is an immediate hit as a toy for kids. To date, over 700 million pounds of Play-Doh have been sold.
Next week: While searching for a suspension device to ease rough sailing on battleships during World War II, Richard James discovers that his torsion spring might make an interesting child’s toy. This toy is still manufactured in Hollidaysburg, Pa. on the same 8 machines that James began with over 70 years ago. What toy is it? (Answer next week!)

Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For former Bud’s World articles, chorus or New Horizons updates:
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS

By Scott Murray


















Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the church
Every creature was stirring, they were sitting on Birch

The programs were ready, everything was prepared
In hopes that the people soon would be there

The decorations were piled all over the place
From trees and garland, to pine cones and lace

The pastor all dressed up, the youth guy in jeans
Had started discussing what Christmas means

The gifts and the baskets, the ribbons and bows
And all of the children all covered in snow

Too often the problem we face every year
Is no one remembers any more than good cheer

For Christmas is not just a time to be getting
There’s something that schools are indeed forgetting

The birth of a saviour, in a manger with hay
Is really the reason to celebrate this day

While Santa and reindeer may seem to be right,
Who wants to celebrate a fat man in tights?

So in your efforts, remember this season
That Jesus my friends, is truly the reason

He did not come just for the winter
But also to die on two giant splinters

There not to stay, he just went to call
And bring back with him Salvation for all

The meeting was over and to their delight
The people were gathered, for Christmas that night


Copyright 2003 Scott Murray. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.

It's what she asked for

Morris ran into Jacob while shopping at the mall the other day in front of one of the jewelry stores. Noticing a conspicuously small gift wrapped box in his hand, Morris asked if was a gift for Jacob's wife Becky.

Jacob told Morris, "With Christmas coming up, I asked Becky what she wanted and she said, 'Oh, I don't know just give me something with lots of diamonds in it.'"

"So what did you get her?" Morris asked.

Jacob smiled and replied, "I bought her a deck of cards."

Politically correct holidays

In our “politically correct” society, some find it difficult to express “Season’s Greetings” using the appropriate, non-offensive salutations.
So, as a public service…may I offer the following “politically correct” Season’s Greetings for your Christmas cards...

Season's Greetings
Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all; plus, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of the other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regards to the race, creed, color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.

(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for him/her or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

"Missile Toe"

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get? Missile toe?

Chorus meeting cancelled (12/2/08)

We have decided to cancel tonight's (12/2/08) Community Chorus meeting in Sheridan.





Currently, I can't see across the street and I can't see our outdoor Christmas decorations. (I was so proud when I set them up last week!)


The current weather report predicts up to 8 - 10" of snow for today.



We will go Christmas caroling on Tuesday, December 16 at 6:45 pm at St. Columban's (2546 Lake Road - Route 5 in Sheridan). Please come and invite friends. You will be more blessed than the residents.
I will bring enough dog treats for Buddy the Golden Retriever.

12/2/08 Community Chorus Meeting

We will have the Community Chorus planning meeting tonight (12/2/08) at The St. John Bosco Auditorium (2777 Main Road - Route 20) in Sheridan @ 6:00 pm. If possible, bring "finger food" to share.
We will discuss chorus plans for the upcoming year.

Shelf life of a fruitcake

"Research has determined that the shelf life of fruitcake is longer than the shelf."

Computer vs.the Automobile

"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside."

~ Robert X. Cringely