Thursday, May 31, 2007

May 27

Memorial Day
Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation's service.
The Church Garden

Plant four rows of squash:

Squash gossip, Squash indifference, Squash grumbling, Squash selfishness

Plant four rows of lettuce:

Lettuce be faithful, Lettuce be kind, Lettuce be patient, Lettuce truly love one another

Plant three rows of peas:

Peace of mind, Peace of heart,

Peace of soul

Plant three rows of turnips:

Turnip for meetings,

Turnip for service, Turnip to help one another

We must include Thyme:

Thyme for each other, Thyme for family, Thyme for friends, Thyme for God

From the Choir Loft

Our Sheridan Community Chorus, under the direction of Bud Lowery, is busy rehearsing for the upcoming patriotic musical: ‘The Spirit of America.’ It will be performed here at The Sheridan United Methodist Church on Sunday, July 1 at 7:00 PM. It is a powerful tribute to God for bestowing his many blessings upon our country. It also reminds us of the sacrifice of all our veterans. We will honor each branch of our armed service as we sing a medley, which includes all the theme songs of the military branches. Please be sure to invite your friends and neighbors to this wonderful tribute.

Hi Def TV

With high-definition TV, they say everything looks bigger and wider. Kind of like going to your 25th high school reunion.

Today in history

(May 27)

On this day in 1819, Julia Ward Howe was born. Her ‘Battle Hymn of the Republic,’ was written in 1861. It perfectly captured the shift in the country’s spirit, which was drawing men to don blue uniforms. No longer were they fighting simply to preserve the Union. Now the war was becoming a holy crusade to free the slaves.

On this day in 1941, a British naval force sank the German battleship ‘Bismarck’

History of the Hymns

Battle Hymn of the Republic’ (1861)

Words: Julia Ward Howe (1819 – 1910) Music: ‘USA Campmeeting’ tune

It was the midst of the terrible U.S. Civil War. Deeply anguished at the growing conflict between the two sections of the country, Mrs. Julia Howe watched troops marching off to war singing “John Brown's Body,” a song about a man who had been hanged in his efforts to free the slaves.

Julia felt that the catchy camp meeting tune should have better words. In a desire to phrase her own feelings about the dreadful events of the time, she scrawled the verses almost without even looking at the paper. Before long the entire nation became inspired by her text and united in singing the new words with the old tune. Mrs. Howe's hymn has been acclaimed through the years as one of our finest patriotic songs. At one time it was sung as a solo at a large rally attended by President Abraham Lincoln. After the audience had responded with loud applause, the President, with tears in his eyes, cried out, “Sing it again!” It was sung again.

And after more than a hundred years, Americans still join in proclaiming, “Glory! Hallelujah! His truth is marching on!”

Meanwhile…1861…146 years ago…in the United States…

President: Abraham Lincoln…

V.P.: Hannibal Hamlin

Silver Creek, NY by-laws of 1861

  1. It is not lawful to encumber or obstruct the sidewalks.

  2. Any dead animal found in the limits of the village must be buried within three hours of notification to the owner of the animal.

  3. It is not lawful to bathe naked in either Walnut or Silver Creek or along the shores of Lake Erie within the village limits after sunrise or before nine o’clock in the evening. A fine of 50¢ will be levied for each violation of this law.

  4. Assessors will be paid one dollar for each day devoted to official duties.

  5. It is not lawful for milk cows to run at large in the village before sunrise or after sunset. A fine of 50¢ will be levied.

  6. It is not lawful to fasten a horse to any ornamental, fruit, or shade tree planted in any Public Street or ground or to injure such tree in any manner. A fine of one dollar will be imposed for violation of this By-law.

Ref. CenterForChurchMusic HanoverBicentenial Cyberhymnal BrainyHistory

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email:

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The bannister of life (Joke)

As you slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember...
Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.
A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."
A stray rabid dog bit my neighbor. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."
Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Magician & The Parrot (Joke)

There was magician on a cruise ship, and he was really good. He was performing the highlight of his show when a parrot walked onstage and squawked, ''It's in his sleeve!'' The magician chased the bird away.
The next day the magician was performing his highlight again (in front of a smaller audience) when the parrot walked onstage and declared, ''It's in his pocket!''
The next day, as he was performing the highlight, he saw the parrot in the crowd. But before the parrot could ruin the magic trick, the boat crashed into a rock and sank. The magician was lucky enough to find a board to hang on to. On the other end of the board was the parrot.
They stared at each other for three full days, neither of them saying anything, when suddenly the parrot said, ''I give up, what did you do with the ship?''

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The Sheridan Community Chorus (rehearsals)

The chorus rehearsals are coming along fine due to the fact the attendance has been good at the rehearsals. The narration, the video, the solo are coming along.
We are always looking for more singers. Do you know any? Invite them along! We'll work hard making them feel welcome.
Patriotic concert in Sheridan, NY: Sunday, July 1, 2007 at 7:00 pm at The Sheridan United Methodist Church.
Patriotic concert in Cattaraugus, NY: Sunday, July 15, 2007 at 3:00 pm at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp in Cattaraugus, NY.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The Wailing Wall (Joke)

A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So, the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. She asks, "You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that, and what are you praying for?"
The old man replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the brotherhood of man. I go home, have a cup of tea, and I come back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth."
The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she asks.
The old man looks at her sadly. "Like I'm talking to a wall."

Monday, May 21, 2007

"Punalicious" (Part 1) Joke

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like an orange.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Sorry I am late...Again...

You might be a Mom if…
You plan your day according to when Sesame Street is on
You have signed a check with a crayon
You find Goldfish crackers in the glove box of your car
You wipe other kids’ noses
You have accidentally brushed your teeth with Desitin
You have caught spit-up with your hand
You can recite ‘Goodnight Moon’ and ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ by heart
You own the entire Baby Einstein DVD collection
You see your parents in a whole new light
From the Choir Loft
During a very important business meeting, there was a power failure causing all
the lights to go out. Everyone sitting around the large table began laughing or
Choir Loft complaining as they sat in total darkness. From out of the darkness came their
boss’s commanding voice: “Everyone raise their hands in the air.” Being
surprised by this rather strange request, nobody moved. Again the boss
commanded: “I said everyone raise their hands.” This time, they obliged, and immediately the lights came back on. They all looked shocked, and turned toward their boss for an explanation.
He explained: “It’s very simple…many hands make lights work.”
We need your “hands” in our ministry to make the work a little “lighter.” Why not join us?
Motherly Advice…
“Always wear clean underwear; you never know when you’ll have an accident.”
“Don’t you make that face…or it’ll freeze like that.”
“What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do that too?”
“Close that door! Were you born in a barn?”
“Don’t put that in your mouth…you don’t know where it’s been!”
“The proverbs of Solomon: A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother.”
Proverbs 10:1
Today in history
(May 13)
1981 – Pope John Paul II shot & wounded in St. Peter’s Square
1973 – Bobby Riggs beat Margaret Smith-Court in a “Mother’s Day Match”
1918 – The 1st airmail stamps were issued (24¢/each)
History of the Hymns
May 13, 2007
‘Tell Mother I’ll be There’ (1969) [Not in our hymnal]
Words and Music: Charles M. Fillmore (1860 – 1952)

A published copy of this hymn was sent to Charles M. Alexander who was the songleader for Dr. R. A. Torrey. He looked at the song and wondered if he could ever use it but decided he would put it in his briefcase for future reference. He carried it with him for years until he needed a solo for use at a church meeting. Hundreds of men responded and, in the years that followed, he sang it around the world and declared that “Tell Mother I’ll Be There” had brought more men to make a decision for Christ than any other song he ever used.
The inspiration for its writing came from a telegram sent by President McKinley to his family when his mother was dying and calling for him. He had wired, “Tell Mother I’ll Be There.” Charles Fillmore had read the newspaper account of this and had caught the idea for a song – one which experts thought no good but one that God would use to change the lives and destinies of thousands of men.

Meanwhile…1969…38 years ago…in the United States…
President: Richard M. Nixon…V.P.: Spiro T. Agnew
Gas: 35¢/gal., Milk: 31¢/qt., 1st class stamp: 6¢, Min. wage: $1.60/hr.
Music: ‘Get Back’ (Beatles), ‘Aquarius’ (5th Dimension)
Sen. Ted Kennedy pleads guilty to leaving the scene of an accident (Chappaquiddick)

History of Mother’s Day
In the United States, “Mother's Day” was first suggested in 1872 by Julia Ward Howe (who wrote the words to the ‘Battle hymn of the Republic’) as a day dedicated to peace. Ms. Jarvis persuaded her mother's church in Grafton, West Virginia to celebrate Mother's Day on the second anniversary of her mother's death, the 2nd Sunday of May. By the next year, Mother's Day was also celebrated in Philadelphia. In 1914 President Woodrow Wilson declared the first national Mother's Day, as a day for American citizens to show the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons had died in war (with specific reference to The Great War, now known as World War I).
Ref. CenterForChurchMusic BuffaloHistory SmithsTreasuryOfHymns InfoPlease Cyberhymnal BrainyHistory

Church office: 672-2048, Bud: 934-7734, email:

Monday, May 14, 2007

Sheridan Community Chorus

We need you in our patriotic musical: "The Spirit of America."
Rehearsals are every Tuesday evening at 7:00 pm at The Sheridan United Methodist Church.
See you Tuesday evening.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

An Atheist in Trouble (Joke)

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both.
As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
"Come on God, give me a break!!" the man pleaded. "Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"

Sheridan Community Chorus (7/15) Concert Info.

The information regarding our Sunday, July 15 (3:00 pm) Concert in Cattaraugus is:
"Cattaraugus Christian Camp:"
9714 Leon Road Cattaraugus, NY 14719 (716) 257-3079 [one mile south of village - Rt. 353 - County Rd. 6]

How do you get to Heaven? (Joke)

"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class. "NO!" the children all answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into heaven?" Again the answer was, "NO!"
"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children and loved my wife, would that get me into heaven?" I asked them again. Once more they all answered, "NO!"
"Well," I continued, thinking they were a good bit more theologically sophisticated than I had given them credit for, "then how can I get into heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Sheridan Community Chorus (Announcement)

The choral books have arrived! The UPS man dropped them off at the house yesterday afternoon.
So, this should take care of our "sharing" problem. Books for everybody...PracticeTrax for everybody!
See you Tuesday evening @ 7:00.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Sheridan Community Chorus (Announcements)

Chorus rehearsals are Tuesday evenings @ 7:00 - 8:30
at Sheridan United Methodist Church (2679 Rt. 20 in Sheridan, NY).
Sunday, July 1 @ 7:00 PM at The Sheridan United Methodist Church:
2679 Route 20 in Sheridan, NY 14135 (716) 672-2048
Sunday, July 15 @ 3:00 PM at the Cattaraugus Christian Campgrounds:
Cattaraugus, NY.
Invite new members to join us! This is a great piece!
Bud (716) 934-7734

Monday, May 7, 2007

April 28,2007

I am sorry, this is a week late!!!!(D.J.)
Who Am I?
God made Adam out of dust, but thought it best to make me first; so I was made before the man according to the Lord's Holy Plan. My whole body God made complete, without arms or hands or feet. My ways and acts did the Lord control, but in my body He placed no soul. A living being I became, and Adam gave to me a name. Then from his presence I withdrew, for this man Adam I never knew. All my maker's laws I do obey, and from these laws I never stray. Thousand's of me go in fear, but seldom on the earth appear. Without arms, legs, feet, or soul, I travel on from pole to pole. My labors are from day to night, and to men I once furnished light. Thousands of people, both young and old, did by my death bright lights behold. No right nor wrong can I conceive the bible and it's teachings I can't believe. The fear of death does not trouble me, pure happiness I will never see. Up in Heaven I can never go, nor in the grave or Hell below. So get your Bible and read with care, you'll find my name recorded there.
The answer is one word, five letters long.
Who is it? (Answer next week!)
From The Choir Loft
We will be presenting our patriotic musical at Sheridan United Methodist
Church on Sunday, July 1, 2007 @ 7:00 PM. Rehearsals are every
Tuesday evening @ S.U.M. @ 7:00 PM. The musical is a celebration
of God’s blessings on our country. If you know singers who would like to
join us, encourage them to come to the choir rehearsals, or contact the
church office or call me. If you know someone who would like to sing, but can’t carry a tune in a bucket, we’ll provide them with a bucket.

I was just wondering…
Why don't you ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery?"
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice?”
Why is the man who invests all your money called a “broker?”
Can fat people go “skinny-dipping?”
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of “dark?”
Today in history
(April 29)
1992 – A jury acquitted L.A. police officers in the Rodney King beating…riots soon began
1990 – Wrecking balls began tearing down the Berlin Wall
1974 – President Richard Nixon agreed to release the the ‘White House Tapes’
1945 – U.S. forces liberated 31,601 from the Nazi concentration camp in Dachau, Germany
1942 – The Jews were 1st forced to wear the ‘Jewish Star’ in the Netherlands & France
1813 – Rubber was patented
History of the Hymns
April 29, 2007
‘Jesus, the Very Thought of Thee’ (1866) page 175
Words by Bernard of Clairvaux (1090 – 1153)
Music by John Bacchus Dykes (1823 – 1876)
It is generally agreed that Bernard of Clairvaux was the greatest of the medieval leaders. He is said to have represented the best of monastic life of his time.
In the sixteenth century Martin Luther wrote of Bernard that he was the best monk that ever lived, and was admired beyond all the rest put together. Bernard’s influence was soon felt throughout Europe. It is said that he commanded kings, emperors, and prelates, and they obeyed him. In 1146, he was commissioned by the Pope to lead a second preaching crusade. With his eloquence and strong preaching, great crowds followed him.
One of the conditions for those joining the Crusade was a personal conversion experience. It is recorded that multitudes of vicious men were changed through his preaching and carried a cross unashamedly as a symbol of their commitment to Christ and this Crusade.
Bernard wrote a long 192-line poem entitled Dulcis Jesu Memorial (‘Joyful Rhythm on the Name of Jesus’). From this poem Edward Caswall translated portions of the line for this hymn text in the nineteenth century.

Meanwhile…1866…141 years ago…in the United States…
President: Andrew Johnson…V.P.: None
Average prices: Shaves: 6¢, Haircuts: 12¢, Shampoos: 25¢
Songs: ‘Goober Peas,’ ‘I’ll Marry No Man If He Drinks,’
‘Jolly Old Saint Nicholas,’ ‘Shew Fly Don’t Bother Me,’ ‘Oh Susanna’
Charles Elmer Hires invented “Root Beer”
Lucy B. Hobbs became the 1st woman to earn a DDS degree
1st train robbery in U.S. (Reno Brothers take $13,000 in Indiana)
The 1st burlesque show opened with 50 girls singing ‘Naughty, Naughty Men’
850 “Fenians” left Buffalo to invade Canada attempting to force England to exit Ireland
Rev. Albert Bigelow was minister of The First Presbyterian Church in Silver Creek, NY
Ref. CenterForChurchMusic BuffaloHistory TanBible InfoPlease Cyberhymnal BrainyHistory
Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email:

A Father's Sermon (Joke)

A minister's young son sat on the floor of his father's office watching him write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" the boy asked.
"Why, God tells me." his father replied.
"Well, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

Friday, May 4, 2007

Dinner at the monastery (Joke)

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbled across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted. After dinner, she went into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers.
The first one says, "Hello, I am brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles."
"I'm very pleased to meet you," replies the nun. "I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever had. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"
Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."
She turned to the other Brother and says "then you must be...?" "Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk."

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Getting Into Heaven (Joke)

Getting Into Heaven after a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her.
"Hello!" "How are you? We've been waiting for you!" "Good to see you!" When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her. "Which word?" the woman asked. "Love." The woman correctly spelled love, and Saint Peter welcomed her into heaven.
About six months later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?" "Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski hit my head, and here I am. How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him. "Which word?" her husband asked. "Czechoslovakia."