Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A Musician's New Year's resolutions...

1) I will not conduct along with my stereo.
2) I will refer to athletic teams with respect, not as 'the pre-show entertainment.'
3) I will attempt a social life (Whatever that is).
4) I will not drum along with music on my steering wheel.
5) I will not announce the title, movement, or composer of music being played in restaurants or elevators.
6) I will refrain from carrying a mouthpiece with me at all times.
7) I will not refer to my instrument as ‘my baby.’
8) I will not practice and surf the internet at the same time.
9) I will not practice and watch a movie at the same time.
10) I will not practice and talk on the phone at the same time.
11) I will not attempt to set off the doorbell by playing the appropriate frequencies on my instrument for the sole purpose of confusing other members of the household.
12) I will not attempt #11 as it applies to security systems either.
13) I will not include a person’s instrument in their name.
14) I will not sing show tunes in public.
15) At least one of my radio’s pre-sets will be something other than a classical or jazz station.
16) I will not wake up others with ‘Reveille,’ nor will I announce bed time with ‘Taps.’
17) I will try to hold at least one conversation per day that does not, in any way, remotely pertain to music.
18) I will not practice Solfege in the shower.
19) I will acknowledge the fact that nobody else finds Gregorian chants fascinating.
20) I will attempt to become friends with a non-musician.