Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said, after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death! We thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

Our biggest need

"One of the oldest human needs is having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home at night."

~ Margaret Mead

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Alice Hanks

Alice M. Hanks, age 85, of Weinberg Campus, Getzville, formerly of Sheridan, died Thursday, October 30th, 2008 at her residence. Alice was a former Sheridan Community Chorus member and long-time resident of Sheridan. Alice and her husband, Neal, were members of The Sheridan United Methodist church until they recently moved into the Weinberg Campus in Amherst.

Friends are welcome to call at the Riles & Woolley Funeral Home, 39 Main Street, Forestville on Sunday from 2-4 & 7-9 pm. Funeral services will be held Monday morning at 11 o'clock from the Sheridan United Methodist Church, Main Road, Sheridan, with Pastor Molly Golando officiating. Private Interment will be at the convenience of the family in Sheridan Center Cemetery. The family suggests memorials may be made either to the Sheridan Fire Dept., PO Box 122, Sheridan, NY 14135 or to the Sheridan United Methodist Church, Main Road, Sheridan, NY 14135. To send condolences go to

Our thoughts and prayers are with Neal Hanks and the entire family.

Top 10 Old Folks Home Party Games

10. Musical Recliners
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta
8. Hide and Go Pee
7. Simon Says Something Incoherent
6. Doc, Doc Goose
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over
4. Hide and sleep.
3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear
2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy


1. Sag, You’re It!

The value of money

"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy."

~ Groucho Marx

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Raising children

"If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!"

Monday, October 27, 2008


"The first part of success is "Get-to-it-iveness"; the second part of success is "Stick-to-it-iveness."

~ Orison Swett Marden

The future predicted...

"The future, according to experts, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive."

~ John Sladek

Sunday, October 26, 2008

A positive attitude:

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."

~ Herm Albright

Saturday, October 25, 2008

The World's Shortest Books

- ‘Things I Wouldn't Do for Money’ by Dennis Rodman
- Al Gore: ‘The Wild Years’
- America's Most Popular Lawyers
- Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors
- Detroit - A Travel Guide
- Different Ways to Spell "Bob"
- Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
- My favorite places to shop by Bud Lowery
- Everything Men Know About Women
- Everything Women Know About Men
- French Hospitality
- ‘The Book of Virtues’ by Bill Clinton
- George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names
- ‘How to Sustain a Musical Career’ by Art Garfunkel
- Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette
- ‘One Hundred and One Spotted Owl Recipes’ by the EPA
- The Amish Phone Directory
- The Engineer's Guide to Fashion

Bud's World (10/26/08)

Director of Purchasing: Lois Bidder Instrument repairman: Anita Hammer Attorney: Gil T. Azell
Don't forget to turn your clocks back next weekend!

The sermon I think one Mom will never forget was this particular Sunday sermon... “Dear Lord,” the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. “Without you, we are but dust...” He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, “Mom, what is butt dust?”

Did you know?
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
No matter how far you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

I’ll Bet You Didn’t Know and Didn’t Care…During the chariot scene in the movie ‘Ben Hur,’ a small red car
can be seen in the distance (and Heston's wearing a watch).

From the Sheridan Community Chorus Choir Loft
Next Saturday (11/1/08), the Sheridan Community Chorus will have its pot luck dinner at 5:00 pm at The St. John Bosco Auditorium (2777 Route 20) in Sheridan, NY. We will be enjoying great food, great fellowship and will discuss upcoming plans of the chorus. All friends and members of the chorus; and anyone with an interest in our group are invited to attend. Bring a dish (with food) to pass. Tableware and drinks will be provided. There’s still room. Please RSVP to Bud []

Quotes to remember:“[An intellectual] is someone who can listen to the ‘William Tell Overture’
without thinking of the Lone Ranger.”
~ John Chesson
“Music is the medicine of the mind.”
~ John A. Logan

Name that instrument
(Answer to last week’s quiz): This musical instrument was originally designed in France in 1650. The answer is the French horn.
This week:
This instrument is made of curled metal wire, metal cable, plastic cable, gut cords and sometimes calfskin. It was added to the orchestra nearly 200 years ago. It is often played for great lengths of time without being tuned. (answer next week).

How do you get an oboist to play A flat?
Take the batteries out of his electric tuner.

What's the range of a tuba?
Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

What do you get when you cross a French horn player and a goalpost?
A goalpost that can't march.

Today in History October 26
1970 – The ‘Doonesbury’ comic strip debuted in 28 newspapers in the U.S.
1890 - The #1 song in the United States was ‘Thunderer’ by The U.S. Marine Band

Halloween Trivia:
Tootsie Rolls were the first wrapped “penny candy” in America.
Halloween candy sales average about 2 billion dollars annually in the United States.
Halloween is the 2nd most commercially successful holiday, with Christmas being the first.
Chocolate candy bars top the list as the most popular candy for trick-or-treaters with Snickers #1.

If you know anybody bored enough to want these articles sent via email, let me know.

Bud: (716) 934-7734, email:
For Community Chorus or New Horizon Band updates:

Friday, October 24, 2008

Flute & Accordian gig

A flute player and an accordion player are playing a New Year's eve gig at a local club. The place is packed and everybody is absolutely loving the music.
Shortly after midnight, the club owner comes up to the duo and says, "You guys sound great .. everybody loves you .. I'd like to know if the two of you are free to come back here next New Year's eve to play."
The two musicians look at each other then to the club owner .. and the flute player says "Sure .. we'd love to .. Is it OK if we leave our stuff here ??"

Thursday, October 23, 2008

You might be a teacher if...

You want to slap the next person who says,"Must be nice to have all your
holidays and summers free."

You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.

When out in public, you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.

When you mention "vegetables" you're not talking about a food group.

You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
You wonder WHY some parents ever reproduced.

You can't have children of your own, because there is NO name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.

Meeting a child's parents INSTANTLY answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"

You understand why some animals eat their young.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The "spin" on the resume

Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Harry ran up a terrible record of forecasting the weather for the TV news program.

He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year. That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired.

He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position.

Harry wrote, "The climate didn't agree with me."

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Free speech

"What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to."

~ Hansell B. Duckett

Monday, October 20, 2008

Harvest Ham Dinner

This information came to me from Susan Hardy (New Horizons Band, and Sheridan Community Chorus member). She sold me some home made caramel last week and it was scrumptious!

Saturday, October 25 at The Tri-Church Parish (35 E. Main St. [Route 20]) in Brocton, NY (Parking available behind the church or at the Post Office across the street).

It will be an extravagant supply of home-baked foods. Cost: $7/adult and $4.50/child ages 5 - 9. Children ages 4 and younger are free. (Add 50 cents to prices if purchased at the door).
Menu: ham, potatoes, tossed salad, roll, squash or corn, breads, applesauce, and choice of desserts. Coffee, tea, or juice for beverages. Dinners are served or available for takeout from 4-7 p.m.

Eat in at tables available in fellowship hall, pre-school or 2 small classrooms downstairs.

For further information, contact Joyce Zirkle at 792-9817 or Susan Hardy at 672-6249.
Takeout line in rear section of sanctuary

Let us feed your bodies and offer to nourish your soul!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Bud's World (10/18/08)

Director of Purchasing: Lois Bidder Instrument repairman: Anita Hammer Attorney: Gil T. Azell

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle of children’s’ aspirin. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: “How does it know it's me?”

I was just wondering…
If you have a circular driveway, how do you get out?
Why do steam irons have a “permanent” press setting?
Have you ever stopped to think and forgot to start again?

From the Sheridan Community Chorus Choir Loft
The Sheridan Community Chorus pot luck planning dinner will be held on Saturday, November 1 at 5:00 pm at The St. John Bosco Auditorium on Route 20 in Sheridan, NY. The goal for The Sheridan Community Chorus is to be ready for the 2009 Easter season. I’m hoping to have a place to rehearse, a sound system, a video projector, a DVD player, a CD player and music by February, 2009. Thus making this group a totally autonomous group. We need your help! Please invite anyone you think might be interested in joining us. Bring your ideas and energy! Singers and non-singers are needed! Please RSVP to Bud.

Quotes to remember:
“If a composer could say what he had to say in words, he would not bother trying to say it in music.”
~ Gustav Mahler
“Musical compositions, it should be remembered, do not inhabit certain countries, certain museums, like paintings and statues. The Mozart Quintet is not shut up in Salzburg: I have it in my pocket.”
~ Henri Rabaud

Name that instrument (Answer to last week’s quiz): The modern version of this instrument was developed from the “Chalumeau” of 1690. Today is called the clarinet.

This week:
This musical instrument was originally designed in France in 1650. One of its original uses was to be played during hunting and its sound was called “recheat.” Players had to attach longer or shorter sections to their instrument to play in various keys.

Name the instrument. (Answer next week).

Why are band concert intermissions limited to 20 minutes?
So you don't have to retrain the drummers.

What do you call a male quartet?
Three men and a tenor.

What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?

Today in History October 19
1992 – Bush, Clinton, & Perot met in their final Presidential debate in E. Lansing, Michigan
1963 – The Beatles recorded ‘I Want to Hold Your Hand’
1957 – ‘Damn Yankees’ musical closed at The 46th Street Theater in NYC after 1,022 performances
1953 – Singer Julius LaRosa, a regular on the CBS program ‘Arthur Godfrey Time,’ was fired on the air by Arthur Godfrey, who accused him of lacking humility
1879 – Thomas Edison demonstrated the electric light
1817 – Tom Taylor (British playwright) was born. His play ‘Our American Cousin’ was being performed at Ford’s Theater when Abraham Lincoln was shot by John Wilkes Boothe
1492 – Christopher Columbus sighted ‘Isabela Island’ (Fortune Island) in the Bahamas

Bud: (716) 934-7734, email:
For Community Chorus New Horizon Band updates:

A better golfer

"I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators."

~ Gerald R. Ford

Friday, October 17, 2008

Today's funny

"Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either."

~ Gore Vidal

November 1 Pot luck dinner

The Sheridan Community Chorus pot luck dinner will be held on Saturday, November 1 @ 5:00 pm at The St. John Bosco Auditorium (2777 Route 20) in Sheridan. Bring a dish (with food) to pass. Tableware and drinks will be provided.
We will be discussing our future plans for the upcoming 2009 calendar year.
Please bring your ideas and invite anyone interested in joining our group.
For further information, contact Bud (716) 934-7734 or

Thursday, October 16, 2008

A normal day

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.

~ Ellen Goodman

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Pumpkin math

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of your pumpkin by it's diameter?

A: Pumpkin Pi

Today's Wisdom

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there."

~ Josh Billings