In honor of the Sheridan United Methodist Church 'Blessing of the animals' service:
Goat for Dinner
The young couple invited their aged pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. “Goat,” the little boy replied.
“Goat?” replied the startled man of the cloth, “Are you sure about that?”
“Yep,” said the youngster. “I heard Daddy say to Mommy, “‘we might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.’”
I was just wondering…
Do you think a cabbie is a fare-minded person?
If you expect nothing can you ever be disappointed?
Do you think anarchy is better than no government at all?
From the Choir Loft
Special membership into the prestigious Sheridan United Methodist church adult choir is now open. Membership includes preferred parking, preferred seating, and an unbelievable after-life insurance plan. See Bud for further details. This is a limited time offer. (Offer good from 8/10/08 through…)
DOGS' LETTERS TO GOD
Dear God, When we get to heaven can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God, Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the Chrysler ‘Eagle’ the Chrysler ‘Beagle?’
Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Schnauzer across the street.
Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
TRIVIA ABOUT DOGS:
• Dogs are mentioned 14 times in the Bible.
• According to a recent survey, the most popular name for a dog is Max.
• An estimated 1 million dogs in the United States have been named the primary beneficiary in their owner's will.
• At the end of the Beatles' song ‘A Day in the Life,’ an ultrasonic whistle, audible only to dogs, was recorded by Paul McCartney for his Shetland sheepdog.
• Contrary to popular belief, dogs do not sweat by salivating. They sweat through the pads of their feet.
• Dogs' eyes have large pupils and a wide field of vision, making them really good at following moving objects. Dogs also see well in fairly low light.
Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: email@example.com
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