Tuesday, October 9, 2007


BAD HEADLINES, part 1 Double Meanings From Around The World
~ L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
~ Patient At Death's Door--Doctors Pull Him Through
~ Diaper Market Bottoms Out
~ Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store
~ Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
~ Lingerie Shipment Hijacked--Thief Gives Police The Slip
~ Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
~ Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
~ Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
~ Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
~ Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better
~ 20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
~ War Dims Hope For Peace
~ If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
~ Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
~ Man is Fatally Slain
~ Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
~ Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings of Isolation
~ Flaming Toilet Seat Causes Evacuation at High School
~ Defendants Speech Ends in Long Sentence
~ Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
~ House Passes Gas Tax Onto Senate
~ Police Discover Crack in Australia
~ William Kelly, 87, was Fed Secretary
~ Collegians are Turning to Vegetables
~ Caribbean Islands Drift to Left

A successful marriage (Joke)

At the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked Ralph on his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Ralph replied to the audience, "Well, I've treated her well, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."
The minister inquired, "Trips to where?"
"For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Italy."
The minister then said, "Ralph, you are a terrific example to all husbands. Please tell the audience what you are planning for your wife on your 50th anniversary?"
Ralph said, "I'm gonna go get her."