Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Politically correct holidays

In our “politically correct” society, some find it difficult to express “Season’s Greetings” using the appropriate, non-offensive salutations.
So, as a public service…may I offer the following “politically correct” Season’s Greetings for your Christmas cards...

Season's Greetings
Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all; plus, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of the other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regards to the race, creed, color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.

(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for him/her or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

"Missile Toe"

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get? Missile toe?