Monday, May 5, 2008

Bud's World (5/4/08)

Following the Scripture...

Bud was experiencing a very tough time in his life. He felt his faith slipping and was desperate. He pulled out his Bible and decided to randomly open it up to get a word from God. So he flipped pages and stopped at Matthew 27:5, which says, “Judas went out and hanged himself.” He thought he'd try it again and Luke 10:37 came up, where Jesus said, “Go and do thou likewise.” So he quickly flipped to another verse and landed on John 13:27, which says, “What you are about to do, do quickly.”
Now you know how Bud became a church musician.

I was just wondering…
If a fly lost its wings, would it then be called a “walk?”
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
When sign makers go on strike is there anything written on their signs?

Bud’s Bass Humor
The symphony orchestra was performing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. In the piece, there's a long passage, about 20 minutes, during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around that whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.
After slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch and said, “Hey! We need to get back!” “No need to panic,” said a fellow bassist. “I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled.” A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra.
About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and mentioned it to her companion. “Well, of course,” said her companion. “Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded.”

Wit or Wisdom?
“Too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold.
~ Maurice Setter
“No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.”
~Lily Tomlin
“In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.”
~ Rita Rudner

Today in History
May 4
1970 – 4 were killed in a riot at Kent State University
1942 – Food was rationed for the 1st time in the United States
1923 – New York State revoked prohibition
1626 – Native Americans sold Manhattan Island for $24 in cloth and buttons

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