Bud's World

Happy Father’s Day
Dad does his own laundry
One day a housework-challenged father decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife,
“What setting do I use on the washing machine?”
“It depends,” she replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
He yelled back, “DENVER BRONCOS.”

I was just wondering…What do little birdies see if they get knocked unconscious?
Why is it that when you tell a person that there are 400 billion stars in the sky he'll believe you, but if you tell him a bench is wet he has to touch it?

Sheridan Community Chorus summer concert schedule:

Tuesday, 6/24/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Heritage Village (Gerry, NY)
Saturday, 6/28/08 @ 8:00 pm @ Willow creek Winery pre-fireworks
Tuesday, 7/1/08 @ 7:00 pm @ St. Columban's on the Lake
Sunday, 7/6/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Sheridan United Methodist church
Tuesday, 7/8/08 @ 7:15 pm @ Lakeshore Nursing Facility
Sunday, 7/13/08 @ 3:00 pm @ Cattaraugus Christian Camp
Tuesday, 7/29/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Laona playground (Laona’s 200th anniversary)
Saturday, 9/20/08 @ 2:00 pm @ Silver Creek 'Grape Festival'

Wit or Wisdom?“Society is like salt water, good to swim in but hard to swallow.”
~ Arthur Stringer
“If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?”~ Laurence J. Peter
“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.”~ Doug Larson

Today in History June 15
1994 – Disney’s ‘Lion King’ opened in movie theaters (earned $42 million)
1986 – ‘Pravda’ news announced the high level staff at Chernobyl was fired for “stupidity”
1969 – ‘Hee-Haw’ with Roy Clark & Buck Owens premiered on CBS-TV
1963 – ‘Sound of Music’ closed in New York City after 1,443 performances
1956 – John Lennon & Paul McCartney met for the 1st time as Lennon’s band played @ church dinner
1924 – Ford Motor Company manufactured the 10 millionth Model T automobile
1916 – The Boy Scouts of America was founded
1775 – George Washington was appointed Commander-in-chief of the American Army
1752 – Benjamin Franklin performed his kite-flying experiment

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates:
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Bud’s History of the Hymns
June 15, 2008
‘Faith of Our Fathers’ (1849) pg. 710
Music by: Henri Frederick Hemy (1818 - 1888) Words by: Frederick William Faber (1814 - 1863)

The history of the Christian faith is a rich heritage of countless people whose faith in God was considered dearer than life itself. The three stanzas found in our hymnal are very usable for evangelical worship. These can be reinterpreted to challenge our commitment and loyalty to the gospel that our spiritual fathers often died to defend.
Faber wrote this hymn after his decision to join the Church of Rome. It first appeared in his own collection of hymns, ‘Jesus and Mary -- Catholic Hymns for Singing and Reading, 1849.’ The original was published in two forms, one for Ireland and one for England.
The faith of our fathers referred to in this hymn, however, is the faith of the martyred leaders of the Roman Catholic Church during the 16th century.
NOTE: Reflecting Faber’s Catholic roots, the original third stanza was:
Faith of our fathers, Mary’s prayers
Shall win our country back to Thee;
And through the truth that comes from God,
England shall then indeed be free.
This hymn was sung at the funeral of American president Franklin D. Roosevelt, held in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC.

Meanwhile…1849…159 years ago…in the United States…
President: Zachary Taylor - V.P.: Millard Fillmore
First Village By-Laws (1849) [Silver Creek]
It is the duty of each citizen to keep ashes in a safe, secure place
Assessors will be paid one dollar for each day devoted to official duties
Any dead animal found in the village must be buried within 3 hours of notification
It is not lawful to ride or drive a horse or other beasts on the sidewalks of the Village
It is not lawful for milk cows to run at large before sunrise or after sunset ($1.00 fine)
It is unlawful to fasten a horse to any ornamental, fruit, or shade tree on a public street
It is unlawful to fly a kite or roll a hoop within the Village limits (25¢ for each violation)

Ref. Library of Congress crosswinds Town of Hanover Bicentennial BuffaloHistory Tanbible Wikipedia

Tim Russert (1950 - 2008)

I know our biggest Buffalo supporter will be missed!
Let's keep his entire family in our thoughts and prayers.

Today's Funny

Calling It a Day

God: "Whew, I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on earth."
Angel: "Oh yeah? What are you going to do now?"

God: "I think I'll call it a day."

Patriotic concerts press release

[Sheridan, NY]

The Sheridan Community Chorus & the Cattaraugus Community Chorus will present the patriotic musical 'Our Flag Was Still There’ at three separate venues during the months of June and July. The 75 voice chorus will present this impressive musical using a state of the art video presentation honoring God, Country and our veterans. The patriotic concert ends with a rousing arrangement of John Philip Sousa’s ‘Stars & Stripes’ march.
The three concerts will be:
Saturday, June 28th at 8:00 pm at the Willow Creek Winery (pre-fireworks)
Sunday, July 6th at 7:00 pm at the Sheridan United Methodist Church
Sunday, July 13th at 3:00 pm at the Cattaraugus Christian Camp
This highly entertaining and energetic chorus, under the direction of Bud Lowery, was formed in 2004. The chorus presents major performances in winter, spring and summer.
For further information please contact Bud Lowery (716) 934-7734 or tubamanbud@gmail.com

Next Chorus Concert...

Tuesday, June 24 @ Heritage Village & Skilled Nursing

Route 4570 Route 60

Gerry, NY 14740

(716) 985-6831

Start time: 7:00 pm

Contact person: Becky

Today's Funny

Time to buy new choir robes...

This week's Chorus/Choir schedule

Tuesday (6/10)
Church choir: 6:45 - 7:15 pm
Chorus: 7:15 - 8:30 pm

Thursday (6/12)

Chorus: 7:00 - 8:30 pm

At Sheridan United Methodist Church
2679 East Main Road (Route 20) Sheridan, NY

Today's Funny

Because I Said So!

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was, "Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam asked.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve! We got Forbidden Fruit!"

"No way!"

"Yes WAY!"

"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry. "Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Eve answered.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did Not!"

"DID SO!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own!

Today's Funny

Say Cheese!

It was almost time for school to dismiss and a mother noticed it looked like rain. So she drove toward school to pick up her eight-year-old daughter.

She turned down the street to see her daughter running towards her down the sidewalk. A lightning bolt flashed and the little girl looked up towards the sky, smiled and then began running towards her mother's van.

Another lightning bolt flashed and again the little girl looked towards the sky, smiled and resumed running. This happened several more times until the little girl finally arrived at where her mother was parked.

Her mom immediately inquired as to the strange behavior. "Why did you keep stopping and smiling at the sky," she asked her daughter.

"I had to, Mommy. God was taking my picture."

~Mikey's Funnies

Summer has arrived!

Yes, we've been discussing it, complaining about it, longing for it...

and it is finally here...SUMMER!

The temperature and humidity are in the 90's and my golden retriever (Kacey) hasn't stopped panting all day.

We work until it's too hot and then retire into the "AIR CONDITIONED ROOM!" We've set up Kacey's bedroom with a TV, dog crate, and an air conditioner. He's not comfortable with the hum of the air conditioner yet, but he sure enjoys the relief of the 'cool room.' And so do I.

Do you think he's spoiled?

Today's Funny

You Might Be a Musician if...
your heroes are Palestrina and Mussorgsky.
you can sing all of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony.
you begin conducting with a piece of uncooked spaghetti.
you can describe two differences between opera and oratorio.
you can play more instruments than the average person can name.
you try to figure out what song is printed on cute music mugs you see in stores.

Major upcoming Patriotic concerts

Sheridan Community Chorus:

'Our Flag Was Still There' major performances:
Saturday, 6/28/08 @ 8:00 pm @ Willowcreek Winery pre-fireworks
Sunday, 7/6/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Sheridan United Methodist church
Sunday, 7/13/08 @ 3:00 pm @ Cattaraugus Christian Camp

More performances:
Tuesday, 6/24/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Heritage Village (Gerry, NY)
Tuesday, 7/1/08 @ 7:00 pm @ St. Columban's on the Lake
Tuesday, 7/8/08 @ 7:15 pm @ Lakeshore Nursing Facility
Tuesday, 7/29/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Laona playground (Laona 200th anniversary)
Saturday, 9/20/08 @ 2:00 pm @ Silver Creek 'Grape Festival'

Patriotic Concerts

Major Patriotic concerts ('Our Flag Was Still There')...

Saturday, June 28 @ 8:00 pm @ Willowcreek Winery

Sunday, July 6 @ 7:00 pm @ Sheridan United Methodist Church

Sunday, July 13 @ 3:00 pm @ Cattaraugus Christian Camp

Also...

Tuesday, June 24 @ 7:00 pm @ Heritage Village

Tuesday, July 1 @ 7:00 pm @ St. Columban's On the Lake

Tuesday, July 8 @ 7:15 pm @ Lakeshore Nursing Facility

Tuesday, July 29 @ 7:00 pm @ Pomfret Playground

Chorus & Choir Schedule

Tuesday (6/3): Church choir rehearsal: 6:45 - 7:15 pm
Chorus rehearsal: 7:15 - 8:30 pm

Thursday (6/5): Chorus rehearsal: 7:00 - 8:30 pm

Rehearsals at Sheridan United Methodist Church (2679 Route 20)Sheridan, NY.

Today's Funny

Heaven Can’t Wait

An 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "ooohed and aaahed," the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."

Next, they went out back to see the championship golf course. They would have golfing privileges every day and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.

The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?" the old man asked timidly. "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."

The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. I could have been here ten years ago!"

courtesy Mikey's Funnies

Bud's World

FUNNY (and real) SIGNS

On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At a propane filling station: "Tank heaven for little grills."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
On a house's fence: "Salespeople welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."
At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you pay your bill.
However, if you don't, you will be."
At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”
At a car dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”
In a restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up.”

I was just wondering…
Why does unscented hairspray smell?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

From the Choir Loft
Can you believe it’s already June? Seems like just a few days ago we had to make sure those “wet” spots on the asphalt weren’t “black ice.” This month, the chorus will begin singing its patriotic musical ‘Our flag was still there.’ On Saturday, June 28 we will be singing at the Willow Creek Winery immediately preceding the “finest fireworks in Western New York.” We can use all kinds of help! We need people to help us move equipment, we need people to help shuttle our singers to/from parking lots, we could use help with greeting/ushering etc. If you could offer some help, please contact the very tired Bud Lowery.

Wit or Wisdom?
“Virtue is its own punishment.”

~ Aneurin Bevan
“The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.”

~ Thomas Carlyle
“Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, and then names the streets after them.”

~ Bill Vaughan

Today in History June 1
1993 – Connie Chung joined Dan Rather as co-anchor of CBS Evening News
1971 – Ed Sullivan’s final TV Show on CBS
1949 – Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz wed for the 2nd time
1938 – ‘Superman’ 1st appeared in DC Comics
1936 – The Queen Mary completed its maiden voyage arriving in NYC

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates: http://www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com/

Today's Funny

"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river."

~ Nikita Krushchev

Today's Funny

How Many Women?
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

Star Gazing last night

Last night, Diane coaxed me into going outside, on a cloudless, calm, quiet, 40 degree night to stare into the heavens just to catch a glimpse of the International Space Station as it sped across the pitch black sky.

Kacey (the world's best Golden Retriever), and I were reluctant participants in this activity, but at about 9:47 pm, without any feeling in my extremities, I pointed my numb index finger toward the northwest to point out the bright orange light as it streaked across the night sky. Yes, I was excited as Kacey just rolled his eyes.

Patriotic concert schedule

Patriotic Concerts
Tuesday, June 24 @ Heritage Village @ 7:00 pm (Gerry)
Saturday, June 28 @8:00 pm @ pre-fireworks Willow Creek winery (Sheridan)
Tuesday, July 1 @ 7:00 pm @ St. Columbans on the Lake (Sheridan)
Sunday, July 6 @ 7:00 pm @ Sheridan United Methodist (Sheridan)
Tuesday, July 8 @ 7:15 pm @ Lakeshore Nursing facility (Irving)
Sunday, July 13 @ 3:00 pm @ Cattaraugus Christian Camp (Cattaraugus)
Tuesday, July 29 @ 7:00 pm @ Laona Playground

Attire is combination of red/white/blue (Stars & Stripes patterns encouraged) Please bring choral book & copy of ‘Salute to the armed forces’ medley
*Times listed are “start” times…Report times are one hour earlier*

Sheridan Community Chorus

This week's rehearsals @ Sheridan United Methodist Church

2679 Route 20 in Sheridan, NY...

Tuesday, May 27 @ 7:15 - 8:30 pm

Thursday, May 29 @ 7:00 - 8:30 pm

Today's Funny

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture.

An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."But the bandit didn't speak English and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish!

Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message.

The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.

"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.

The lawyer answered, "He said, 'Get lost, you turkey. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'"

Bud's Funnies
"Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies."
~ Anonymous
"The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy."
~ Helen Hayes (at age 73)

I was just wondering…
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why call it a building if it's already been built?
If a turtle loses its shell is it naked or homeless?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards as it is forwards?

From the Choir Loft
The church choir can use your help. No auditions necessary. All singers gratefully welcomed. We are a friendly group, who quickly embrace you into our ensemble. The music is easy. If you can’t read music, this is your chance to learn. Less than a commitment of one hour / week necessary. If you have any questions, call Bud at (716) 934-7734.

Wit or Wisdom?
“Energy and persistence conquer all things.”
~ Benjamin Franklin
“Don't regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.”

~ Unknown
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”
~ Paul Boese
“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds...”
~ Albert Einstein

Today in History May 25
In the nation’s capital, in addition to the Lincoln Memorial, there is another statue of Lincoln worth seeing. It is a sculpture in bronze in the National Cathedral, of Lincoln kneeling in prayer.

Gazing upon it, the visitor is reminded of what the President once told his future secretary, Noah Brooks: “I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.”

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates: www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Today's Funny

Amazing warning labels...

13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow: "Not intended for highway use."
500-piece puzzle: "Some assembly required."
A birthday card for a 1 year old: "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less."
A Frisbee: "Warning: May contain small parts."
A toilet at a public sports facility: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."
A toilet bowl cleaning brush: "Do not use orally."

Today's Funny

I’m fine

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from a road accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.

Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, "I’m fine," said the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule ’Bessie’ into the......."

"I didn’t ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question." "Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ’I’m fine!’"

Farmer Joe said, "Well I had just got ’Bessie’ into the trailer and I was driving down the road...".

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and said to the lawyer, "I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favourite mule ’Bessie’ ".

Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded ’Bessie’, my favourite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and ’Bessie’ was thrown into the other.

I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ’ole ’Bessie’ moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear ’Bessie’ moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her.

How are you feeling?"

Tonight's (5/22) Sheridan Community Chorus rehearsal

Tonight's (5/22) chorus rehearsal has moved to the St. John Bosco auditorium (2777 Main Road [Rt. 20] in Sheridan) It is just west of the Sheridan United Methodist church (on the same side of Route 20). This change is for tonight only! Same time...7:00 pm.

Thank you.

Bud

Today's Funny

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

"Great idea!" the chicken cried. "Let's offer them ham and eggs?"

"Not so fast," said the pig. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment.

Today's Thought...


"Be different...conform."
from: Mikey's funnies

Today's Funny

The dentist looked into his patient's mouth and said, "The only way I can cure your bad breath is to take out all your teeth."

"Will I be able to sing in the church choir afterwards?" asked the patient.

"I don't see why not," replied the dentist. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I wasn't good enough to sing in it last time I auditioned."

Sheridan Community Chorus

We're moving our Thursday (5/22) chorus rehearsal...
Thursday, May 22 our rehearsal will be at
St. John Bosco Auditorium (2777 Main Rd. in Sheridan)
The auditorium is just west of the Sheridan United

Methodist church.

Same time: 7:00 - 8:30 pm

See you there...
Bud

Sheridan Community Chorus (5/22) rehearsal

There is a change in our Thursday (5/22) rehearsal...

We will be rehearsing at The St. John Bosco Auditorium (2777 Main Road [Route 20] just west of Sheridan United Methodist Church) at 7:00 pm.

Same time...different place.

Thank you...

Today's Funny

WHAT DO YOU CALL...

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand? Quatro sinko.

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers.

What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie? A dog that runs for help...after it bites your leg off.

What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

From Bud's World

Funnies
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two and keep away from the children."
Holy Family in a Plane
A Sunday school teacher asked her students to draw a picture of Jesus' family. After collecting the drawings, she noticed that one little boy's drawing depicted an airplane with four heads sticking out of the windows. “I see you drew three heads to show Joseph, Mary and Jesus,” she said to the boy.
“But who does the fourth head belong to?”
The boy replied, “That's Pontius the pilot.”

I was just wondering…
Is yawning really contagious?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to “cure” it?
If firefighters fight fires, and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters do?

From the Choir Loft
“Hide it under a bushel…NO! I’m gonna let it shine.” You know those words to ‘Let it shine.’ We provide the opportunity and privilege of singing for the Lord. We make it as easy as we possibly can to join us in the church choir. We have a brief rehearsal following each Sunday morning’s service (15 – 20 minutes). We also have a 30 minute rehearsal each Tuesday evening. The choir is growing and I give you my word that I will make it as fun as I possibly can. Please just come and join us, or call me (934-7734) if you have any questions.

Wit or Wisdom?
Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
~ Robin Williams
“An optimist is the human personification of spring.”
~ Susan J. Bissonette
“Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.”
~ William Feather
“At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all...I just can't remember it all.”
~ Anonymous

Today in History
May 18
1980 – Mt. St. Helens in Washington erupted. 60 die
1956 – Mickey Mantle hit homers from both sides of the plate in 1 game for 3rd time
1854 – State of Massachusetts ruled that all school age children must attend school
1804 – France proclaimed Napoleon Bonaparte as Emperor
1642 – The city of Montreal was founded

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates:
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Today's Funny

The Mule, the Dog, the Monkey & The Man

God created the mule, and told him, "You are mule. You will work constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years." The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so.

Then God created the dog, and told him, "You are dog. You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years." The dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 years." And it was so.

God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years." The monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no than 10 years." And it was so.

Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years." The man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord; give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected."

And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grandchildren. And it is so ...

New members needed

Have you invited someone to join the chorus?
The Sheridan Community Chorus invite new members to join at each and every rehearsal at The Sheridan United Methodist church (2679 Route 20) in Sheridan, NY. The Sheridan Community Chorus is a non-auditioned, volunteer chorus.
Membership requirements are a good sense of humor, an intense love of music and the ability to carry a tune.

No auditions required...No credit check necessary...No previous experience necessary.

Today's Funny

A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years.

Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man.

After awhile the sailor asks, "What are those three huts you have here?"

"Well, that's my house there."

"What's that next hut?" asks the sailor.

"I built that hut to be my church."

"What about the other hut?"

"Oh, that's where I used to go to church."

Gasoline funny

Sheridan Community Chorus (week of 5/11/08)

Rehearsals: Tuesday (5/13/08)

7:15 - 8:30 PM

Thursday (5/15/08)

7:00 - 8:30 PM

at Sheridan United Methodist church

2679 Route 20 in Sheridan, NY

From Bud's World

Happy Mother’s Day

A Daughter’s Prayer
A mother was teaching her 3 year old daughter the Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end
"Lead us not into temptation" she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail, Amen."

Trivia about Motherhood...
There are 84 million moms in the U.S.
About 4 million women will have babies this year.
Mother's Day is the third-largest card-sending holiday.
Mother's Day is the busiest day of the year for restaurants.
August is the most popular month in which to have a baby.
The odds of a woman delivering twins is 1-in-33. Her odds of having triplets is approximately 1-in-539.
The median age of a woman giving birth for the first time in the U.S. is 24.8.
Daughters keep in closer contact with their mothers than do sons. (Pew Research)
There are more phone calls made on Mother's Day than on any other day of the year. (Pew Research)
Kentucky has the highest percentage of women who are mothers at 67%. The national average is 57%.
While nearly 80 percent of Americans will buy a card for mom this year, 83 percent of the cards will be purchased by daughters. (American Greetings)

Wit or Wisdom?
“The phrase 'working mother’ is redundant.”
~ Jane Sellman
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. “Shut your mouth and eat your supper!”

When Mom’s gone, she’s not forgotten
Don't think of her as gone away, her journey's just begun. Life holds so many facets this earth is only one. Just think of her as resting, from the sorrows and the tears. In a place of warmth and comfort, where there are no days and years. Think how she must be wishing, that we could know, today. Now nothing but our sadness can really pass away. And think of her as living, in the hearts of those she touched. For nothing loved is ever lost, and she is loved so very much

Mother’s Day Trivia
Perhaps the country's strongest proponent of motherhood, Anna Jarvis ironically never had children of her own. Yet that didn't stop her from making the celebration of Mother's Day her lifelong mission. In fact, as the holiday took on a life of its own, Jarvis expressed frequent dismay over its growing commercialization. “I wanted it to be a day of sentiment, not profit,” she is quoted as saying.

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