Bud's World

June 22, 2008

Bud’s funnies
“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining,
but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”
~ Mark Twain
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
~ Henny Youngman

I was just wondering…
If a parsley farmer is sued can they “garnish” his wages?
How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
If one synchronized swimmer gets a cramp, do the rest get cramps too?
If you're an atheist and swear on the Bible, have you committed perjury?
Why when two planes almost hit each other is it called a near miss? Shouldn't it be called a near hit?

From the Choir Loft
This Tuesday evening (6/24) we will sing our patriotic musical at Heritage Village in Gerry, NY. We are taking this season as a chance to minister to people all around our community. This will be the first of eight concerts as we sing to an estimated 6,000 people. Pray for us as we present this message of our appreciation to God for his many blessings bestowed on our country.

Wit or wisdom“A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice.”
~ Bill Cosby
“What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens.”
~ Benjamin Disraeli
“The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.”
~ Robert Frost
“Trust the past to God’s mercy, the present to God’s love, and the future to God’s providence.”
~ St. Augustine

Today in History June 22

1994 – North Korea promised President Clinton they had given up their nuclear program
1970 – The voting age in the United States was changed from 21 to 18
1945 – Battle for Okinawa ended (Casualties: U.S.: 12,520, Japanese: 90,000, civilian: 130,000)
1942 – A Japanese submarine shelled Fort Stevens, Oregon
1940 – France officially surrendered to Germany as Nazis overran Paris
1936 – Heavyweight boxing champ Joe Louis knocked out Max Schmelling in 1st round
1847 – The 1st doughnut with a hole was created
1633 – The Pope forced Galileo to recant the notion that the earth orbited the sun

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates:
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Heritage Village 6/24 Information

We will be singing our patriotic cantata this Tuesday, 6/24 at 7:00 pm.
Here are the directions as to where to go once you arrive onto the Heritage Village campus:

As you go up the driveway the brick building on the right, there will be a sign saying "Schwab manor"
The front door will be opened

All those wishing to car pool to Heritage, be in the Sheridan United Methodist church parking lot ready to go by 5:45 pm on Tuesday (6/24).
See you Tuesday evening...

Today's Funny

Sins of Commission

A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone here know what we mean by sins of omission?"
A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?"

Did you know?

If you use a water bed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 square foot house 4 inches deep.

Best "Out of Office" Automatic email replies

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as Lucille instead of Steve.

thanks to Kevin

Today's Funny

Recently, while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long gray hair and beard, wearing a white robe and sandals, holding a staff.

President Bush went up to the man and said " Has anyone told you that you look like Moses?" The man didn't answer. He just kept staring straight ahead. The president said, 'Moses!' in a loud voice. The man just stared ahead, never acknowledging the President.

The President pulled a Secret Service Agent aside and, pointing to the robed man, asked him, 'Am I crazy or does That man not look like Moses to you?' The Secret Service agent looked at the man and agreed. 'Well,' said the president, 'every time I say his name, he ignores me and stares straight ahead, refusing to speak .

Watch!' Again the president Yelled, 'Moses!' and again the man ignored him. The Secret Service agent went up to the man in the white robe and whispered, 'You look just like Moses. Are you Moses?'

The bearded man leaned over and whispered back, 'Shhhh! Yes, I am Moses. The last time I talked to a bush, I spent forty years wandering in the desert and ended up leading my people to the only spot in the entire Middle East with no oil.'

Combined Community Choruses

We had a great rehearsal in Sheridan last night (6/17)...it's always fun when we have a "gathering" of all the voices (well, at least most of them).
The next time our entire ensemble is combined will be Saturday, 6/28 for the Willowfest concert at Willow Creek winery in Sheridan. Listed in the "top 10 fireworks in the U.S.A." We need everyone near the stage by 8:00 pm.

The Sheridan group will sing at Heritage Village nursing facility in Gerry, NY on Tuesday 6/24...report time is 6:00 - 6:30 pm.
Heritage Village...4570 Route 60 in Gerry, NY 14740 (716) 985-6831

Today's Funny

"For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life,
please press three."

Goat for Dinner

The young couple invited their aged pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied.

"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"

"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'"

Father's Day Funny

TOP 10 WRONG WAYS TO INITIATE YOUR SON INTO MANHOOD

10. Teach him the secret male ritual of leaving the toilet seat up and the toilet paper roll empty.

9. Have a ceremony where you give him his own remote control.

8. Lead him through an afternoon of rigorous physical training in the back yard while you sit in a lawn chair with a half-gallon of ice cream.

7. Eat until you're about to burst and then ride the Screamin' Hurler roller coaster.

6. Put cream on his face and let the cat shave him with its tongue.

5. Walk behind him through his school halls yelling, "You da man!"

4. Send him to the local discount store to buy mom's "personal things."

3. Give him Grandma's lime green Gremlin with personalized license plates that say, "TUFFGUY."

2. Send the womenfolk shopping, then get out your secret Old Yeller video and have a good cry together.

1. Shot put catching.

Bud's World

Happy Father’s Day
Dad does his own laundry
One day a housework-challenged father decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife,
“What setting do I use on the washing machine?”
“It depends,” she replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
He yelled back, “DENVER BRONCOS.”

I was just wondering…What do little birdies see if they get knocked unconscious?
Why is it that when you tell a person that there are 400 billion stars in the sky he'll believe you, but if you tell him a bench is wet he has to touch it?

Sheridan Community Chorus summer concert schedule:

Tuesday, 6/24/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Heritage Village (Gerry, NY)
Saturday, 6/28/08 @ 8:00 pm @ Willow creek Winery pre-fireworks
Tuesday, 7/1/08 @ 7:00 pm @ St. Columban's on the Lake
Sunday, 7/6/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Sheridan United Methodist church
Tuesday, 7/8/08 @ 7:15 pm @ Lakeshore Nursing Facility
Sunday, 7/13/08 @ 3:00 pm @ Cattaraugus Christian Camp
Tuesday, 7/29/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Laona playground (Laona’s 200th anniversary)
Saturday, 9/20/08 @ 2:00 pm @ Silver Creek 'Grape Festival'

Wit or Wisdom?“Society is like salt water, good to swim in but hard to swallow.”
~ Arthur Stringer
“If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?”~ Laurence J. Peter
“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.”~ Doug Larson

Today in History June 15
1994 – Disney’s ‘Lion King’ opened in movie theaters (earned $42 million)
1986 – ‘Pravda’ news announced the high level staff at Chernobyl was fired for “stupidity”
1969 – ‘Hee-Haw’ with Roy Clark & Buck Owens premiered on CBS-TV
1963 – ‘Sound of Music’ closed in New York City after 1,443 performances
1956 – John Lennon & Paul McCartney met for the 1st time as Lennon’s band played @ church dinner
1924 – Ford Motor Company manufactured the 10 millionth Model T automobile
1916 – The Boy Scouts of America was founded
1775 – George Washington was appointed Commander-in-chief of the American Army
1752 – Benjamin Franklin performed his kite-flying experiment

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates:
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Bud’s History of the Hymns
June 15, 2008
‘Faith of Our Fathers’ (1849) pg. 710
Music by: Henri Frederick Hemy (1818 - 1888) Words by: Frederick William Faber (1814 - 1863)

The history of the Christian faith is a rich heritage of countless people whose faith in God was considered dearer than life itself. The three stanzas found in our hymnal are very usable for evangelical worship. These can be reinterpreted to challenge our commitment and loyalty to the gospel that our spiritual fathers often died to defend.
Faber wrote this hymn after his decision to join the Church of Rome. It first appeared in his own collection of hymns, ‘Jesus and Mary -- Catholic Hymns for Singing and Reading, 1849.’ The original was published in two forms, one for Ireland and one for England.
The faith of our fathers referred to in this hymn, however, is the faith of the martyred leaders of the Roman Catholic Church during the 16th century.
NOTE: Reflecting Faber’s Catholic roots, the original third stanza was:
Faith of our fathers, Mary’s prayers
Shall win our country back to Thee;
And through the truth that comes from God,
England shall then indeed be free.
This hymn was sung at the funeral of American president Franklin D. Roosevelt, held in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC.

Meanwhile…1849…159 years ago…in the United States…
President: Zachary Taylor - V.P.: Millard Fillmore
First Village By-Laws (1849) [Silver Creek]
It is the duty of each citizen to keep ashes in a safe, secure place
Assessors will be paid one dollar for each day devoted to official duties
Any dead animal found in the village must be buried within 3 hours of notification
It is not lawful to ride or drive a horse or other beasts on the sidewalks of the Village
It is not lawful for milk cows to run at large before sunrise or after sunset ($1.00 fine)
It is unlawful to fasten a horse to any ornamental, fruit, or shade tree on a public street
It is unlawful to fly a kite or roll a hoop within the Village limits (25¢ for each violation)

Ref. Library of Congress crosswinds Town of Hanover Bicentennial BuffaloHistory Tanbible Wikipedia

Tim Russert (1950 - 2008)

I know our biggest Buffalo supporter will be missed!
Let's keep his entire family in our thoughts and prayers.

Today's Funny

Calling It a Day

God: "Whew, I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on earth."
Angel: "Oh yeah? What are you going to do now?"

God: "I think I'll call it a day."

Patriotic concerts press release

[Sheridan, NY]

The Sheridan Community Chorus & the Cattaraugus Community Chorus will present the patriotic musical 'Our Flag Was Still There’ at three separate venues during the months of June and July. The 75 voice chorus will present this impressive musical using a state of the art video presentation honoring God, Country and our veterans. The patriotic concert ends with a rousing arrangement of John Philip Sousa’s ‘Stars & Stripes’ march.
The three concerts will be:
Saturday, June 28th at 8:00 pm at the Willow Creek Winery (pre-fireworks)
Sunday, July 6th at 7:00 pm at the Sheridan United Methodist Church
Sunday, July 13th at 3:00 pm at the Cattaraugus Christian Camp
This highly entertaining and energetic chorus, under the direction of Bud Lowery, was formed in 2004. The chorus presents major performances in winter, spring and summer.
For further information please contact Bud Lowery (716) 934-7734 or tubamanbud@gmail.com

Next Chorus Concert...

Tuesday, June 24 @ Heritage Village & Skilled Nursing

Route 4570 Route 60

Gerry, NY 14740

(716) 985-6831

Start time: 7:00 pm

Contact person: Becky

Today's Funny

Time to buy new choir robes...

This week's Chorus/Choir schedule

Tuesday (6/10)
Church choir: 6:45 - 7:15 pm
Chorus: 7:15 - 8:30 pm

Thursday (6/12)

Chorus: 7:00 - 8:30 pm

At Sheridan United Methodist Church
2679 East Main Road (Route 20) Sheridan, NY

Today's Funny

Because I Said So!

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was, "Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam asked.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve! We got Forbidden Fruit!"

"No way!"

"Yes WAY!"

"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry. "Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Eve answered.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did Not!"

"DID SO!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own!

Today's Funny

Say Cheese!

It was almost time for school to dismiss and a mother noticed it looked like rain. So she drove toward school to pick up her eight-year-old daughter.

She turned down the street to see her daughter running towards her down the sidewalk. A lightning bolt flashed and the little girl looked up towards the sky, smiled and then began running towards her mother's van.

Another lightning bolt flashed and again the little girl looked towards the sky, smiled and resumed running. This happened several more times until the little girl finally arrived at where her mother was parked.

Her mom immediately inquired as to the strange behavior. "Why did you keep stopping and smiling at the sky," she asked her daughter.

"I had to, Mommy. God was taking my picture."

~Mikey's Funnies

Summer has arrived!

Yes, we've been discussing it, complaining about it, longing for it...

and it is finally here...SUMMER!

The temperature and humidity are in the 90's and my golden retriever (Kacey) hasn't stopped panting all day.

We work until it's too hot and then retire into the "AIR CONDITIONED ROOM!" We've set up Kacey's bedroom with a TV, dog crate, and an air conditioner. He's not comfortable with the hum of the air conditioner yet, but he sure enjoys the relief of the 'cool room.' And so do I.

Do you think he's spoiled?

Today's Funny

You Might Be a Musician if...
your heroes are Palestrina and Mussorgsky.
you can sing all of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony.
you begin conducting with a piece of uncooked spaghetti.
you can describe two differences between opera and oratorio.
you can play more instruments than the average person can name.
you try to figure out what song is printed on cute music mugs you see in stores.

Major upcoming Patriotic concerts

Sheridan Community Chorus:

'Our Flag Was Still There' major performances:
Saturday, 6/28/08 @ 8:00 pm @ Willowcreek Winery pre-fireworks
Sunday, 7/6/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Sheridan United Methodist church
Sunday, 7/13/08 @ 3:00 pm @ Cattaraugus Christian Camp

More performances:
Tuesday, 6/24/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Heritage Village (Gerry, NY)
Tuesday, 7/1/08 @ 7:00 pm @ St. Columban's on the Lake
Tuesday, 7/8/08 @ 7:15 pm @ Lakeshore Nursing Facility
Tuesday, 7/29/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Laona playground (Laona 200th anniversary)
Saturday, 9/20/08 @ 2:00 pm @ Silver Creek 'Grape Festival'

Patriotic Concerts

Major Patriotic concerts ('Our Flag Was Still There')...

Saturday, June 28 @ 8:00 pm @ Willowcreek Winery

Sunday, July 6 @ 7:00 pm @ Sheridan United Methodist Church

Sunday, July 13 @ 3:00 pm @ Cattaraugus Christian Camp

Also...

Tuesday, June 24 @ 7:00 pm @ Heritage Village

Tuesday, July 1 @ 7:00 pm @ St. Columban's On the Lake

Tuesday, July 8 @ 7:15 pm @ Lakeshore Nursing Facility

Tuesday, July 29 @ 7:00 pm @ Pomfret Playground

Chorus & Choir Schedule

Tuesday (6/3): Church choir rehearsal: 6:45 - 7:15 pm
Chorus rehearsal: 7:15 - 8:30 pm

Thursday (6/5): Chorus rehearsal: 7:00 - 8:30 pm

Rehearsals at Sheridan United Methodist Church (2679 Route 20)Sheridan, NY.

Today's Funny

Heaven Can’t Wait

An 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "ooohed and aaahed," the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."

Next, they went out back to see the championship golf course. They would have golfing privileges every day and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.

The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?" the old man asked timidly. "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."

The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. I could have been here ten years ago!"

courtesy Mikey's Funnies

Bud's World

FUNNY (and real) SIGNS

On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At a propane filling station: "Tank heaven for little grills."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
On a house's fence: "Salespeople welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."
At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you pay your bill.
However, if you don't, you will be."
At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”
At a car dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”
In a restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up.”

I was just wondering…
Why does unscented hairspray smell?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

From the Choir Loft
Can you believe it’s already June? Seems like just a few days ago we had to make sure those “wet” spots on the asphalt weren’t “black ice.” This month, the chorus will begin singing its patriotic musical ‘Our flag was still there.’ On Saturday, June 28 we will be singing at the Willow Creek Winery immediately preceding the “finest fireworks in Western New York.” We can use all kinds of help! We need people to help us move equipment, we need people to help shuttle our singers to/from parking lots, we could use help with greeting/ushering etc. If you could offer some help, please contact the very tired Bud Lowery.

Wit or Wisdom?
“Virtue is its own punishment.”

~ Aneurin Bevan
“The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.”

~ Thomas Carlyle
“Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, and then names the streets after them.”

~ Bill Vaughan

Today in History June 1
1993 – Connie Chung joined Dan Rather as co-anchor of CBS Evening News
1971 – Ed Sullivan’s final TV Show on CBS
1949 – Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz wed for the 2nd time
1938 – ‘Superman’ 1st appeared in DC Comics
1936 – The Queen Mary completed its maiden voyage arriving in NYC

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates: http://www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com/

Today's Funny

"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river."

~ Nikita Krushchev

Today's Funny

How Many Women?
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

Star Gazing last night

Last night, Diane coaxed me into going outside, on a cloudless, calm, quiet, 40 degree night to stare into the heavens just to catch a glimpse of the International Space Station as it sped across the pitch black sky.

Kacey (the world's best Golden Retriever), and I were reluctant participants in this activity, but at about 9:47 pm, without any feeling in my extremities, I pointed my numb index finger toward the northwest to point out the bright orange light as it streaked across the night sky. Yes, I was excited as Kacey just rolled his eyes.

Patriotic concert schedule

Patriotic Concerts
Tuesday, June 24 @ Heritage Village @ 7:00 pm (Gerry)
Saturday, June 28 @8:00 pm @ pre-fireworks Willow Creek winery (Sheridan)
Tuesday, July 1 @ 7:00 pm @ St. Columbans on the Lake (Sheridan)
Sunday, July 6 @ 7:00 pm @ Sheridan United Methodist (Sheridan)
Tuesday, July 8 @ 7:15 pm @ Lakeshore Nursing facility (Irving)
Sunday, July 13 @ 3:00 pm @ Cattaraugus Christian Camp (Cattaraugus)
Tuesday, July 29 @ 7:00 pm @ Laona Playground

Attire is combination of red/white/blue (Stars & Stripes patterns encouraged) Please bring choral book & copy of ‘Salute to the armed forces’ medley
*Times listed are “start” times…Report times are one hour earlier*

Sheridan Community Chorus

This week's rehearsals @ Sheridan United Methodist Church

2679 Route 20 in Sheridan, NY...

Tuesday, May 27 @ 7:15 - 8:30 pm

Thursday, May 29 @ 7:00 - 8:30 pm

Today's Funny

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture.

An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."But the bandit didn't speak English and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish!

Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message.

The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.

"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.

The lawyer answered, "He said, 'Get lost, you turkey. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'"

Bud's Funnies
"Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies."
~ Anonymous
"The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy."
~ Helen Hayes (at age 73)

I was just wondering…
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why call it a building if it's already been built?
If a turtle loses its shell is it naked or homeless?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards as it is forwards?

From the Choir Loft
The church choir can use your help. No auditions necessary. All singers gratefully welcomed. We are a friendly group, who quickly embrace you into our ensemble. The music is easy. If you can’t read music, this is your chance to learn. Less than a commitment of one hour / week necessary. If you have any questions, call Bud at (716) 934-7734.

Wit or Wisdom?
“Energy and persistence conquer all things.”
~ Benjamin Franklin
“Don't regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.”

~ Unknown
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”
~ Paul Boese
“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds...”
~ Albert Einstein

Today in History May 25
In the nation’s capital, in addition to the Lincoln Memorial, there is another statue of Lincoln worth seeing. It is a sculpture in bronze in the National Cathedral, of Lincoln kneeling in prayer.

Gazing upon it, the visitor is reminded of what the President once told his future secretary, Noah Brooks: “I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.”

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates: www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Today's Funny

Amazing warning labels...

13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow: "Not intended for highway use."
500-piece puzzle: "Some assembly required."
A birthday card for a 1 year old: "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less."
A Frisbee: "Warning: May contain small parts."
A toilet at a public sports facility: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."
A toilet bowl cleaning brush: "Do not use orally."

Today's Funny

I’m fine

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from a road accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.

Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, "I’m fine," said the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule ’Bessie’ into the......."

"I didn’t ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question." "Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ’I’m fine!’"

Farmer Joe said, "Well I had just got ’Bessie’ into the trailer and I was driving down the road...".

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and said to the lawyer, "I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favourite mule ’Bessie’ ".

Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded ’Bessie’, my favourite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and ’Bessie’ was thrown into the other.

I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ’ole ’Bessie’ moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear ’Bessie’ moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her.

How are you feeling?"

Tonight's (5/22) Sheridan Community Chorus rehearsal

Tonight's (5/22) chorus rehearsal has moved to the St. John Bosco auditorium (2777 Main Road [Rt. 20] in Sheridan) It is just west of the Sheridan United Methodist church (on the same side of Route 20). This change is for tonight only! Same time...7:00 pm.

Thank you.

Bud

Today's Funny

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

"Great idea!" the chicken cried. "Let's offer them ham and eggs?"

"Not so fast," said the pig. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment.

Today's Thought...


"Be different...conform."
from: Mikey's funnies

Today's Funny

The dentist looked into his patient's mouth and said, "The only way I can cure your bad breath is to take out all your teeth."

"Will I be able to sing in the church choir afterwards?" asked the patient.

"I don't see why not," replied the dentist. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I wasn't good enough to sing in it last time I auditioned."

Sheridan Community Chorus

We're moving our Thursday (5/22) chorus rehearsal...
Thursday, May 22 our rehearsal will be at
St. John Bosco Auditorium (2777 Main Rd. in Sheridan)
The auditorium is just west of the Sheridan United

Methodist church.

Same time: 7:00 - 8:30 pm

See you there...
Bud