Bud's World

Funnies
Q: What do you call a non-churchgoer?
A: A Seventh-Day Absentist
If you want to save face, keep the lower half shut
~ Ann Landers

I was just wondering…
How do they get the deer to cross at the yellow sign?
If I vow to avoid poison ivy, am I making a rash promise?
Why is a person who handles your money called a "broker"?
How can one person be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
Is a kleptomaniac a person who helps himself because he can't help himself?

From the Choir Loft
Our chorus will perform the patriotic musical: ‘Our Flag Was Still There’ this Saturday (9/20/08) during the Grape Festival in Silver Creek. Yes, it’s our 9th performance of this powerful patriotic musical! We will begin the performance @ 2:00 and will perform outside (Lord willing!) near the Gazebo in the Village Park near the big white church (First United Church) in the middle of the Village of Silver Creek. Please show your support by coming out and clapping wildly (in between songs).

Out of the mouth of Babes...
Little Billy returned home from his first day at school and asked his mother, “What’s sex?”
His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the ‘hard to explain subject’...to her inquisitive six year old.
When she had finished, little Billy produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, “Okay Mommy, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?”

Today in History
September 14
1996 – Mark Mc Guire became the 13th player to hit 50 HR’s in a season
1973 – President Nixon signed into law a measure lifting pro football’s ‘blackout rule’
1972 – The ‘Walton’s’ TV show premiered
1968 – 1st broadcast of ‘60 minutes’ on CBS-TV
1965 – ‘F-Troop’ premiered on TV
1960 – Iraq, Iran, Kuwait, Saudi-Arabia & Venezuela form OPEC
1948 – Milton Berle launched his TV career on ‘Texaco Star Theater’
1891 – “Empire State Express” train goes fro NYC to East Buffalo (436 miles in record 7hours/6 min.)
1872 – Britain paid the U.S. $15 million for Civil War damages
1847 – U.S. Marines under General Scott enter Mexico City (thus: ‘From the halls of Montezuma’)
1814 – Francis Scott Key was inspired to write ‘The Star Spangled Banner’

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates:
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Sheridan Community Chorus

Plans for our upcoming 9/20/08 Festival of Grapes appearance...

If anyone can help us set-up please report at 12:30 pm

Singers report by 1:15 pm

Performance will be near the gazebo in the Village of Silver Creek park.
Look for us between the gazebo and the big white church (First United Church).

If it rains, we will be performing inside the First United Church.

Attire: Combination of red/white/blue ('stars & stripes' patterns encouraged). White over black outfits are acceptable.

Please bring your 'Our Flag Was Still There' choral books & Salute to the Armed Services medley music.

We could use help tearing down after the performance.

Again, thanks for all your support,
Bud

Today's funny

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out Bible.

The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and accessories.

As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.

As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. "Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship."
The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored.

The preacher approached the man and said, "I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church."

"I did," replied the old cowboy.

"If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping in here?" asked the preacher.

"Well, sir, God told me that He didn't have a clue what I should wear. He said He'd never been in here before."

9/11

Sheridan Community Chorus

Yes, I'm frantically trying to make arrangements for our upcoming performance at the Festival of Grapes on Saturday, September 20 @ 2:00 pm.
I will keep you updated.

Bud

Wisdom of the day

"I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell."

~ Harry S Truman

Wisdom of the day

Do those same "Slow Children at Play" grow up to be the "Slow Men at Work"?

Today's 2nd funny

Submitted by Mady Buchbinder and Joyce Hawkins:
Stick with it...it's really good!

These notes walk into a bar...
A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat.
An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
Then an A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says, "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development."
This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, and the sopranout in the bathroom, everything has become altoo much treble; he needs a rest, and closes the bar.

Today's funny

A father decided it was time to have "the talk" with his ten-year-old son. Sitting the boy down, he thought it best to first find out what his son might already know. So he asked his son if he knew about "the birds and the bees."

"I don't want to know," his son replied, bursting into tears. "Promise you won't tell me. Please!"

Confused by this reaction, the father asked his son what was wrong.

"Oh dad" the boy replied, in between sobs, "when I was six, I got the 'there’s no Santa' speech. At seven I got the 'there’s no Easter bunny' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with 'there's no Tooth Fairy' speech. If you are going to tell me now there's no such things as birds and bees I don't know what I will do!"

Today's funny

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

~ George Carlin

Church Choir

In honor of the upcoming 'Patriot Day' (in honor of the 9/11 tragedy...
tomorrow (9/14) the church choir will be singing 'Sweet Freedom's Song' from The Spirit of America musical, which includes DVD.
Warm-up time at Sheridan United Methodist church is 10:00 am
Please join us if you can.
I'd love to see you...

Bud

Wisdom of the day

"The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word 'crisis.' One brush stroke stands for danger, the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of danger--but recognize the opportunity."

~ John Kennedy

Sheridan Community Chorus

I have been deluged with responses to the news that the Sheridan United Methodist Church has decided to pull their sponsorship of the Sheridan Community Chorus 2008 Christmas musical season.

As of now, here are our upcoming plans...

Silver Creek Grape Festival Saturday, 9/20/08 @ 2:00 PM @ The Village of Silver Creek Gazebo (in front of the big white church First United Church)

Start time: 2:00 PM
Report time: 1:30 PM
Attire: red/white/blue combination (stars and stripes patterns encouraged) Otherwise, white over black is fine
Bring 'Our Flag Was Still There' choral book & 'Salute to the armed services' music

I sincerely thank you...
Bud

Today's funny

The Lord Will Save Me!

It rained for days and days and there was a terrific flood. The water rose so high that one man was forced to climb on top of his roof and sat in the rain. As the waters came up higher a man in a rowboat came up to the house and told him to get in. "No thank you, the Lord will save me!" he said, and the man in the rowboat rowed away.

The waters rose to the edge of the roof and still the man sat on the roof until another rowboat came by and another man told him to get in. "No thank you, the Lord will save me!" he said again, and the man rowed away.The waters covered the house and the man was forced to sit on his chimney as the rain poured down and a helicopter came by and another man urged him to get in or he'll drown. "No thank you," the man said again, "The Lord will save me!"

After much begging and pleading the man in the helicopter gave up and flew away. The waters rose above the chimney and the man drowned and went to heaven where he met God.

"Lord, I don't understand," he told Him, frustrated, "The waters rose higher and higher and I waited hours for you to save me but you didn't! Why?"

The Lord just shook his head and said, "What are you talking about? I sent two boats and a helicopter?!"

Today's funny

After a nice dinner the two elderly couples got up from the table. The ladies went into the kitchen and the men went into the living room.

One of the gents said to the other,
- I think it is so wonderful how you call your wife, "honey pie" and "sweet pea", and "sugar" all the time.

The other gent said:
- Well to tell you the truth, four years ago, I forget her name.

Sheridan Community Chorus 2008 Christmas Schedule

Dear friends and members of The Sheridan Community Chorus…
Last Friday (8/29) I felt like I got a visit from the "Turk." In sports, a visit from the "Turk" is slang for being fired from a team. This traumatic event most often happens in the preseason, when teams must cut players to conform to a maximum roster size.
A representative of the Sheridan United Methodist Church administration board called and asked to come over and speak to me. I was informed that the church board had voted the night before to pull its financial support from the Sheridan Community Chorus 2008 Christmas cantata. Yes folks, it was a shock!
I was informed that the church is organizing a children's choir to present a missionary/Christmas program at the church in early November. The board and pastor feel that the church cannot present both concerts and that the Sheridan Community Chorus concerts have not led to a growth in church attendance.
The Sheridan United Methodist Church has been gracious enough to sponsor the chorus concerts for almost 3 years and I am extremely grateful. The church has fronted the funds for our music, have supplied a place for us to rehearse, allowed us to use its video projector plus many of our Sheridan Community Chorus members are friends or members of the church.
The singers of the Sheridan Community Chorus have also been extremely loyal to our ensemble. You have donated your time and have even purchased your own music and CD's. With your efforts we have been able to pay the church back for the past 4 performances. The last two concerts have brought more money back to the church than the initial cost of the music. For all this, I thank you.
Without the "up front" investment of our church, as well as the late notification, I can't see any way to present a Christmas concert this year. I am not only personally and professionally disappointed, but I will miss the opportunity to perform and minister to the people in our community; and to the residents in the nursing homes and hospitals of our area.
Thanks for all your prayers and support.

Disappointed, but still...

In His service,
Bud
Bud Lowery
Choir director

Wisdom of the day

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.

~ Olin Miller

Happy Labor Day

ABC'S of singing

L = Low notes are often sung with too much airflow. Try decreasing your airflow to achieve a more natural, more relaxed tone.

By Vocal coach Yvonne DeBandi

Wisdom of the day

I was always taught, "You become what you eat."
So I only eat rich foods.
I'm still waiting...

~Mikey's funnies

Bud's Best Side

I am taking a poll.

In Sunday's 'Observer' newspaper (8/24/08), I am included in two pictures. (No, I am not on the "Wanted in Chautauqua County" list of criminals.)

On page A3, I'm facing forward in the "Dave Golando Big Band" picture (best looking trombonist 2nd from left).
On page A4, there's a picture of the Sheridan Community Chorus at the Laona Community Park with me conducting. Obviously with my back to the camera.

So...since I've already received some snide comments...
Which is my best side?
Front or back?
Come on, take your best shot!

Wisdom of the day

"Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use."
~ Charles M. Schulz

Hymns for all professions...

Dentist's Hymn: Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman's Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor's Hymn: The Church's One Foundation
Tailor's Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy
Golfer's Hymn: There's a Green Hill Far Away
Politician's Hymn: Standing on the Promises
Optometrist's Hymn: Open My Eyes That I Might See
IRS Agent's Hymn: I Surrender All
Gossip's Hymn: Pass It On
Electrician's Hymn: Send The Light
Shopper's Hymn: Sweet By and By
Realtor's Hymn: I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
Massage Therapist's Hymn: He Touched Me
Doctor's Hymn: The Great Physician

ABC'S of singing

K = Know your limits. Don't sing too high or too low. Don't sing to the point of vocal fatigue. Never strain or push your voice. Doing so will not result in a higher or lower singing range, or a stronger voice, only a voice that has suffered undue stress.

~ Vocal coach Yvonne DeBandi

Today's funny

"If God had wanted man to play soccer, he wouldn't have given us arms."

Mike Ditka

Wisdom of the day

There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Bud's World

3 Little Piggies go to dinner

The three little piggies went out to dinner one night. The waiter comes to take their drink order. "I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy. "I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy. "I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy. The drinks are brought out and the waiter takes their orders for dinner. "I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy. "I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy. "I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.
The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert. "I want a banana split," said the first piggy. "I want a root beer float," said the second piggy. "I want water, lots and lots of water," exclaimed the third little piggy.
"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy, "but why have you only ordered water all evening?"
The third piggy says, "Well, somebody has to go wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"

I was just wondering…
Can dead batteries be given out free of charge?

From the Choir Loft
The choir has the privilege of praising the Lord in song every Sunday. Our goal is to support and enhance the efforts of Pastor Molly as she teaches and encourages the congregation here at Sheridan United Methodist Church. We would be honored if you would join us. We rehearse immediately following each Sunday morning service. You’ll be home in time for lunch.

Wit or Wisdom?
“We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities
brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.”
~ John W. Gardner
“A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing,
the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.”
~ James Dent
“The really happy man is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.”~Anonymous

Today in History August 17
1998 – President Bill Clinton was the 1st President to appear before a grand jury (re: Monica Lewinsky)
1962 – The Beatles replaced Pete Best with Ringo Starr
1961 – Construction of the Berlin Wall began
1959 – U.S.S.R. & Iraq signed a contract to build a nuclear reactor in Iraq
1957 – Alice Roth was hit twice by foul baseballs (1st in stands broke her nose, 2nd while on stretcher)
1933 – Lou Gehrig broke the record by playing in his 1,308th consecutive game
1891 - 1st public bathhouse with showers was opened in NYC

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates:
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

ABC'S of singing

J = Jumping Jacks. If you are having trouble getting your body completely involved with singing, try doing some cardiovascular activities, like jumping jacks, for a few minutes before getting started again. Sometimes your instrument simply needs an airflow wake-up call.

Vocal coach Yvonne DeBandi

Today's funny

What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

Outlaws are wanted.