Today's Funny

Sins of Commission

A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone here know what we mean by sins of omission?"
A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?"

Did you know?

If you use a water bed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 square foot house 4 inches deep.

Best "Out of Office" Automatic email replies

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as Lucille instead of Steve.

thanks to Kevin

Today's Funny

Recently, while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long gray hair and beard, wearing a white robe and sandals, holding a staff.

President Bush went up to the man and said " Has anyone told you that you look like Moses?" The man didn't answer. He just kept staring straight ahead. The president said, 'Moses!' in a loud voice. The man just stared ahead, never acknowledging the President.

The President pulled a Secret Service Agent aside and, pointing to the robed man, asked him, 'Am I crazy or does That man not look like Moses to you?' The Secret Service agent looked at the man and agreed. 'Well,' said the president, 'every time I say his name, he ignores me and stares straight ahead, refusing to speak .

Watch!' Again the president Yelled, 'Moses!' and again the man ignored him. The Secret Service agent went up to the man in the white robe and whispered, 'You look just like Moses. Are you Moses?'

The bearded man leaned over and whispered back, 'Shhhh! Yes, I am Moses. The last time I talked to a bush, I spent forty years wandering in the desert and ended up leading my people to the only spot in the entire Middle East with no oil.'

Combined Community Choruses

We had a great rehearsal in Sheridan last night (6/17)...it's always fun when we have a "gathering" of all the voices (well, at least most of them).
The next time our entire ensemble is combined will be Saturday, 6/28 for the Willowfest concert at Willow Creek winery in Sheridan. Listed in the "top 10 fireworks in the U.S.A." We need everyone near the stage by 8:00 pm.

The Sheridan group will sing at Heritage Village nursing facility in Gerry, NY on Tuesday 6/24...report time is 6:00 - 6:30 pm.
Heritage Village...4570 Route 60 in Gerry, NY 14740 (716) 985-6831

Today's Funny

"For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life,
please press three."

Goat for Dinner

The young couple invited their aged pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied.

"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"

"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'"

Father's Day Funny

TOP 10 WRONG WAYS TO INITIATE YOUR SON INTO MANHOOD

10. Teach him the secret male ritual of leaving the toilet seat up and the toilet paper roll empty.

9. Have a ceremony where you give him his own remote control.

8. Lead him through an afternoon of rigorous physical training in the back yard while you sit in a lawn chair with a half-gallon of ice cream.

7. Eat until you're about to burst and then ride the Screamin' Hurler roller coaster.

6. Put cream on his face and let the cat shave him with its tongue.

5. Walk behind him through his school halls yelling, "You da man!"

4. Send him to the local discount store to buy mom's "personal things."

3. Give him Grandma's lime green Gremlin with personalized license plates that say, "TUFFGUY."

2. Send the womenfolk shopping, then get out your secret Old Yeller video and have a good cry together.

1. Shot put catching.

Bud's World

Happy Father’s Day
Dad does his own laundry
One day a housework-challenged father decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife,
“What setting do I use on the washing machine?”
“It depends,” she replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
He yelled back, “DENVER BRONCOS.”

I was just wondering…What do little birdies see if they get knocked unconscious?
Why is it that when you tell a person that there are 400 billion stars in the sky he'll believe you, but if you tell him a bench is wet he has to touch it?

Sheridan Community Chorus summer concert schedule:

Tuesday, 6/24/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Heritage Village (Gerry, NY)
Saturday, 6/28/08 @ 8:00 pm @ Willow creek Winery pre-fireworks
Tuesday, 7/1/08 @ 7:00 pm @ St. Columban's on the Lake
Sunday, 7/6/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Sheridan United Methodist church
Tuesday, 7/8/08 @ 7:15 pm @ Lakeshore Nursing Facility
Sunday, 7/13/08 @ 3:00 pm @ Cattaraugus Christian Camp
Tuesday, 7/29/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Laona playground (Laona’s 200th anniversary)
Saturday, 9/20/08 @ 2:00 pm @ Silver Creek 'Grape Festival'

Wit or Wisdom?“Society is like salt water, good to swim in but hard to swallow.”
~ Arthur Stringer
“If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?”~ Laurence J. Peter
“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.”~ Doug Larson

Today in History June 15
1994 – Disney’s ‘Lion King’ opened in movie theaters (earned $42 million)
1986 – ‘Pravda’ news announced the high level staff at Chernobyl was fired for “stupidity”
1969 – ‘Hee-Haw’ with Roy Clark & Buck Owens premiered on CBS-TV
1963 – ‘Sound of Music’ closed in New York City after 1,443 performances
1956 – John Lennon & Paul McCartney met for the 1st time as Lennon’s band played @ church dinner
1924 – Ford Motor Company manufactured the 10 millionth Model T automobile
1916 – The Boy Scouts of America was founded
1775 – George Washington was appointed Commander-in-chief of the American Army
1752 – Benjamin Franklin performed his kite-flying experiment

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates:
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Bud’s History of the Hymns
June 15, 2008
‘Faith of Our Fathers’ (1849) pg. 710
Music by: Henri Frederick Hemy (1818 - 1888) Words by: Frederick William Faber (1814 - 1863)

The history of the Christian faith is a rich heritage of countless people whose faith in God was considered dearer than life itself. The three stanzas found in our hymnal are very usable for evangelical worship. These can be reinterpreted to challenge our commitment and loyalty to the gospel that our spiritual fathers often died to defend.
Faber wrote this hymn after his decision to join the Church of Rome. It first appeared in his own collection of hymns, ‘Jesus and Mary -- Catholic Hymns for Singing and Reading, 1849.’ The original was published in two forms, one for Ireland and one for England.
The faith of our fathers referred to in this hymn, however, is the faith of the martyred leaders of the Roman Catholic Church during the 16th century.
NOTE: Reflecting Faber’s Catholic roots, the original third stanza was:
Faith of our fathers, Mary’s prayers
Shall win our country back to Thee;
And through the truth that comes from God,
England shall then indeed be free.
This hymn was sung at the funeral of American president Franklin D. Roosevelt, held in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC.

Meanwhile…1849…159 years ago…in the United States…
President: Zachary Taylor - V.P.: Millard Fillmore
First Village By-Laws (1849) [Silver Creek]
It is the duty of each citizen to keep ashes in a safe, secure place
Assessors will be paid one dollar for each day devoted to official duties
Any dead animal found in the village must be buried within 3 hours of notification
It is not lawful to ride or drive a horse or other beasts on the sidewalks of the Village
It is not lawful for milk cows to run at large before sunrise or after sunset ($1.00 fine)
It is unlawful to fasten a horse to any ornamental, fruit, or shade tree on a public street
It is unlawful to fly a kite or roll a hoop within the Village limits (25¢ for each violation)

Ref. Library of Congress crosswinds Town of Hanover Bicentennial BuffaloHistory Tanbible Wikipedia

Tim Russert (1950 - 2008)

I know our biggest Buffalo supporter will be missed!
Let's keep his entire family in our thoughts and prayers.

Today's Funny

Calling It a Day

God: "Whew, I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on earth."
Angel: "Oh yeah? What are you going to do now?"

God: "I think I'll call it a day."

Patriotic concerts press release

[Sheridan, NY]

The Sheridan Community Chorus & the Cattaraugus Community Chorus will present the patriotic musical 'Our Flag Was Still There’ at three separate venues during the months of June and July. The 75 voice chorus will present this impressive musical using a state of the art video presentation honoring God, Country and our veterans. The patriotic concert ends with a rousing arrangement of John Philip Sousa’s ‘Stars & Stripes’ march.
The three concerts will be:
Saturday, June 28th at 8:00 pm at the Willow Creek Winery (pre-fireworks)
Sunday, July 6th at 7:00 pm at the Sheridan United Methodist Church
Sunday, July 13th at 3:00 pm at the Cattaraugus Christian Camp
This highly entertaining and energetic chorus, under the direction of Bud Lowery, was formed in 2004. The chorus presents major performances in winter, spring and summer.
For further information please contact Bud Lowery (716) 934-7734 or tubamanbud@gmail.com

Next Chorus Concert...

Tuesday, June 24 @ Heritage Village & Skilled Nursing

Route 4570 Route 60

Gerry, NY 14740

(716) 985-6831

Start time: 7:00 pm

Contact person: Becky

Today's Funny

Time to buy new choir robes...

This week's Chorus/Choir schedule

Tuesday (6/10)
Church choir: 6:45 - 7:15 pm
Chorus: 7:15 - 8:30 pm

Thursday (6/12)

Chorus: 7:00 - 8:30 pm

At Sheridan United Methodist Church
2679 East Main Road (Route 20) Sheridan, NY

Today's Funny

Because I Said So!

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was, "Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam asked.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve! We got Forbidden Fruit!"

"No way!"

"Yes WAY!"

"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry. "Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Eve answered.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did Not!"

"DID SO!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own!

Today's Funny

Say Cheese!

It was almost time for school to dismiss and a mother noticed it looked like rain. So she drove toward school to pick up her eight-year-old daughter.

She turned down the street to see her daughter running towards her down the sidewalk. A lightning bolt flashed and the little girl looked up towards the sky, smiled and then began running towards her mother's van.

Another lightning bolt flashed and again the little girl looked towards the sky, smiled and resumed running. This happened several more times until the little girl finally arrived at where her mother was parked.

Her mom immediately inquired as to the strange behavior. "Why did you keep stopping and smiling at the sky," she asked her daughter.

"I had to, Mommy. God was taking my picture."

~Mikey's Funnies

Summer has arrived!

Yes, we've been discussing it, complaining about it, longing for it...

and it is finally here...SUMMER!

The temperature and humidity are in the 90's and my golden retriever (Kacey) hasn't stopped panting all day.

We work until it's too hot and then retire into the "AIR CONDITIONED ROOM!" We've set up Kacey's bedroom with a TV, dog crate, and an air conditioner. He's not comfortable with the hum of the air conditioner yet, but he sure enjoys the relief of the 'cool room.' And so do I.

Do you think he's spoiled?

Today's Funny

You Might Be a Musician if...
your heroes are Palestrina and Mussorgsky.
you can sing all of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony.
you begin conducting with a piece of uncooked spaghetti.
you can describe two differences between opera and oratorio.
you can play more instruments than the average person can name.
you try to figure out what song is printed on cute music mugs you see in stores.

Major upcoming Patriotic concerts

Sheridan Community Chorus:

'Our Flag Was Still There' major performances:
Saturday, 6/28/08 @ 8:00 pm @ Willowcreek Winery pre-fireworks
Sunday, 7/6/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Sheridan United Methodist church
Sunday, 7/13/08 @ 3:00 pm @ Cattaraugus Christian Camp

More performances:
Tuesday, 6/24/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Heritage Village (Gerry, NY)
Tuesday, 7/1/08 @ 7:00 pm @ St. Columban's on the Lake
Tuesday, 7/8/08 @ 7:15 pm @ Lakeshore Nursing Facility
Tuesday, 7/29/08 @ 7:00 pm @ Laona playground (Laona 200th anniversary)
Saturday, 9/20/08 @ 2:00 pm @ Silver Creek 'Grape Festival'