A normal day

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.

~ Ellen Goodman

Pumpkin math

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of your pumpkin by it's diameter?

A: Pumpkin Pi

Today's Wisdom

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there."

~ Josh Billings

The Best Gifts

"The best gifts to give: To your friend, loyalty; To your enemy, forgiveness; To your boss, service; To a child, a good example; To your parents, gratitude and devotion; To your mate, love and faithfulness; To all men and women, charity."

~ Oren Arnold

Today's Funny

"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."

~ George Carlin

Bud's World (10/12/08)

Director of Purchasing: Lois Bidder Instrument repairman: Anita Hammer Attorney: Gil T. Azell

Parent Humor
I called my daughter long-distance just to say hello. She had had a particularly rough day with her two boys, then aged nine months and three years. When I asked her how she was, she replied wearily, “I don’t know, Dad. I keep hoping I’m just the baby-sitter and that their parents will come home soon.”

I was just wondering…
Is there another word for thesaurus?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

From the Sheridan Community Chorus Choir Loft
The Sheridan Community Chorus pot luck dinner will be Saturday, November 1 at 5:00 pm at The St. John Bosco Auditorium in Sheridan, NY. All chorus members/spouses/significant others and anyone interested in the future of the chorus are invited to attend. The goals for The Sheridan Community Chorus are to be ready for the 2009 Easter season. I’m hoping to have a place to rehearse, a sound system, a video projector, a DVD player, a CD player and music by February, 2009. Thus making this group a totally autonomous group. We need your help!

Famous Quotes
“Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn.” ~Charlie Parker
“Life can't be all bad when for ten dollars you can buy all the Beethoven sonatas and listen to them for ten years.” ~William F. Buckley, Jr.
"Play the music, not the instrument." ~Author Unknown

Name that instrument
(Answer to last week’s quiz): This instrument (from last week's quiz) used to be called the “sackbut.” Today is known as the trombone.
This week: This instrument’s name is of Italian origin. It has been made of wood, plastic, hard metal, rubber, metal resin and ivory. Many present-day professional players prefer theirs made from African hardwood. The modern version was developed from the “Chalumeau" of 1690.
Name the instrument. (answer next week).

Today in History October 12)
1973 - Nixon nominates Gerald Ford to replace Spiro Agnew as VP
1915 - Ford Motor Company manufactures its 1 millionth Model T automobile
1901 - Theodore Roosevelt renames “Executive Mansion,” “The White House”
1792 - Columbus Day is 1st celebrated

Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com

Sousa @ Chautauqua Institution

Here's a 1925 photograph of John Philip Sousa and his band at The Chautauqua Institution ("Panoramic Photography")

~courtesy Library of Congress

Dust Bunnies

After church, little Robbie tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets the family.
"Pastor," Robbie says, "I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust."
"That's right, Johnny, I did."
"And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust."
"Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?"
"Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!"

We cordially invite you to The Sheridan Community Chorus Pot Luck Dinner on Saturday, November 1 at 5:00 pm at The St. John Bosco Auditorium (2777 Route 20) in Sheridan, NY.
We will be discussing the future of the chorus and we need your input & help.
Bring a dish to pass - tableware and drinks will be provided.
Please RSVP to Bud

Today's Wisdom

"One person with a belief is equal to a force of 99 who have only interests."

~John Stuart Mill

Sheridan Community Chorus

Saturday, 11/1/08 at 5:00 pm at The St. John Bosco Auditorium (2777 Route 20) in Sheridan, NY we will have the Sheridan Community Chorus pot luck dinner. Bring a dish to pass...tableware and drinks will be provided.
This will be a time of fellowship and to discuss the future of the chorus.
Bring your ideas, suggestions and an eagerness to get ready for 2009.
Think about your favorite memory of our group.
Invite others to join us.
Chorus members and spouses/significant others are all invited.
Please send you RSVP's to Bud

Sheridan Community Chorus

The Sheridan Community Chorus pot luck dinner will be held on Saturday, November 1, 2008 at 5:00 pm at The St. John Bosco Auditorium (2777 Route 20) in Sheridan, NY. Sheridan, NY is between Silver Creek & Fredonia.
Chorus members, their spouses, significant others, prospective singers and anyone interested in the future of this chorus are invited to attend.
Please bring a dish to share and an eagerness to get going again. Drinks and tableware will be provided.
We want to be ready for the 2009 Easter season.
I have missed you all, and look forward to seeing you again.

Please RSVP to Bud

The Advil Commandments

So Moses is up on Mount Sinai and he says to God, "God, do I have a pounding headache!"

And God says, "Here, take these two tablets."

1st Snowfall of the season...

In case you often complain about our weather, here's a picture of my brother's backyard last Sunday (10/5/08).

Oh, by the way, he lives in Anchorage, Alaska.

Senior Citizens' Questions/Answers

Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 65 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore-------under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done, you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt .'


Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly-----wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 65+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 65+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 65+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 65+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: “Gosh, I remember these.”

SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor, right?

~ Written by Betty White

Business Mergers in America...

With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations later this year:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa .

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.

And finally...

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!

Thanks to Gregory Harper

Today's Wisdom

"The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people."

~ Lucille S. Harper

Bud's World (10/5/08)

credits: Jazz critic: Bertha Deblues Hair color consultant: Dewey R. Donti Instrument repairman: Anita Hammer Attorney: Gil T. Azell

Out of the mouths of babes
One of the teachers had a kindergartner come up to her and say that he found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead. The student said it was dead. The teacher asked how he knew. The boy said, “I pissed in its ear.” The horrified teacher said, “You what?” The little boy innocently said, “you know, I went to his ear and said, ’PSST!’ and it didn’t move. So it must be dead.”

I was just wondering…Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
If a turtle loses its shell is it naked or homeless?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

From the Sheridan Community Chorus Choir Loft
Yes, we are going to get together as a group to plan our future (yes, there is a future). All “friends and members” of The Sheridan Community Chorus are invited...singers & non-singers alike! I would like to have our potluck dinner/meeting on a Saturday evening. How about 5:00 pm? Would anyone be willing to step forward and organize this for me? Please get back to me with a suggested date.

Famous Quotes“The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.”
~ Yogi Berra
“There is one thing that freezes a musician more than the deadliest physical cold,
and that is the spiritual chill of an unresponsive audience!”
~ John Philip Sousa

Name that instrument
This instrument used to be called the “sackbut.” It is found in the brass section
and is unusual as it is not operated by pistons.
(Answer next week)

Today in History
October 5
2004 – Crude oil prices jumped to a record $51.09/barrel
1988 – During the V.P. debate, Bentson turned to Quayle saying: “Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.”
1970 – PBS became a network
1969 – Monty Python’s ‘Flying Circus’ debuted on BBC television in Great Britain
1962 – The Beatles released their 1st record ‘Love Me Do’
1945 – ‘Meet the Press’ premiered on radio
1902 – Ray Croc was born. He founded the McDonald’s franchise in 1955
1882 – Outlaw Frank James surrendered in Missouri 6 months after brother Jesse’s assassination
1880 – The 1st ball-point pen patented by Alonzo T. Cross

Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For Community Chorus updates:
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Sheridan Community Chorus

Yes, we are going to get together as a group to plan our future (yes, there is a future). All "friends and members" of The Sheridan Community Chorus are invited...singers & non-singers alike!
I would like to have our potluck dinner/meeting on a Saturday evening.
How about 5:00 pm?
Would anyone be willing to step forward and organize this for me?
Please get back to me with a suggested date.

Wisdom of the day

"Women are made to be loved, not understood."

~ Oscar Wilde

Today's funny

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

I have personally had each and every one of these comments on my report cards!
Bud
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com
tubamanbud@gmail.com