What the used car ad "really" means! (Joke)

What the car ad claims . . . what it really means~

rough condition . . . too bad to lie about~

parts car . . . beyond repair~

immaculate . . . recently washed~

engine quiet . . . if you use 90-weight oil~

needs minor overhaul . . . needs engine~

needs major overhaul . . . phone the junkyard~

burns no oil . . . it all leaked out~

rebuilt engine . . . cleaned the spark plugs~

drive it away . . . I live on a hill~

drive it anywhere . . . within 10 miles~

desirable classic . . . no one wants it~

rare classic . . . no one wanted it even when it was new~

stored 20 years . . . in a farmer's field~

ran when stored . . . won't start