From Bud's World

June 24, 2007

If the Bible were written today by college students:
The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning -- cold.
The Ten Commandmentswould actually be only five -- double-spaced and written in a large font.
A new edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.
"Forbidden fruit"would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's email to abuse@romans.gov.
Reason Cain killed Abel: they were roommates.
Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years…
They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.
Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh,
He would have put it off until the night before to get it done.

From the choir loft
We will be presenting the patriotic musical: ‘The Spirit of America’ here at Sheridan United Church next Sunday, July 1, 2007 @ 7:00 PM and at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp on Sunday, July 15 @ 3:00 PM. This powerful musical focuses our attention on five attitudes and characteristics that have made Americans unique throughout our history: Spirit of Freedom, Adventure, Hope, Sacrifice and of Divine Purpose. This cantata will get your heart pounding with such songs as: ‘This is My Country, Salute to the Armed Services, America’ and many more. Invite your friends now!

Wit or Wisdom…
"Where the will of God leads you,
the grace of God will keep you."
~ Unknown
"A Pharisee is hard on others and easy on himself,
but a spiritual man is easy on others and hard on himself."
~ A. W. Tozer
"One cannot help being old, but one can resist being aged."
~ Lord Samuel

Today in history
(June 24)
1992 – John Gotti began his life sentence in jail
1964 – The FTC ruled that a health warning must appear on all cigarette packages
1953 – John F. Kennedy & Jacqueline Bouvier announced their engagement
1949 – "Hopalong Cassidy" became the 1st network western (NBC)
1941 – The entire Jewish population of Gorzhdy, Lithuania was exterminated
1903 – ‘In the Sweet Bye & Bye’ by Harry MacDonough & the Haydn Quartet was #1
1861 – Tennessee became the 11th state to secede from the Union
1817 – The 1st coffee beans were planted in Hawaii on the Kona coast
Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Bud’s History of the Hymns
June 24, 2007
‘Rock of Ages, Cleft for Me’(1830) Page 361
Words: Augustus M. Toplady (1740 – 1778)Music: Thomas Hastings (1784 - 1872)
Even when Augustus Toplady wrote his magnificent masterpiece, "Rock of Ages." he couldn’t resist the temptation to take a shot at those who he thought were believers in "Perfectionism." Toplady calculated that if a man lived to reach the age of 80, he would have the opportunity of committing over 2.5 billion sins, making it impossible to save himself. He needed a Savior! So when he finally finished this hymn, he titled it: ‘A living and dying prayer of the holiest believer in the world.’ He often said, "The most sanctified soul in the world must come down on his knees and confess, ‘Nothing in my hands I bring,’ and ‘Vile I to this fountain fly.’"
Thomas Hastings, the composer of this hymn tune, was born on October 15, 1784, in Washington, Connecticut. He wrote 1000 hymn tunes and more than 60 original hymn texts, as well as editing more than fifty music collections. In 1858 the University of the City of New York conferred the degree of Doctor of Music upon him in recognition of his accomplishments. Along with Lowell Mason, Thomas Hastings is generally credited with being the person most instrumental in shaping the development of church music in the United States. Hastings once wrote, "The homage that we owe Almighty God calls for the noblest and most reverential tribute that music can render."

Meanwhile…1830…177 years ago…in the United States…
President: Andrew Jackson…V.P.: Martin Van Buren
Population of Buffalo, NY was 8,668
In the fall of 1830, Charles and Mary Durfee of Cazenovia set out for the wilderness of Chautauqua County, settling on the lakeshore in Sheridan. The Lake Road at that time was only a path and not passable for loaded teams of horses, so in order to reach their future home from Dunkirk, they had to take the Roberts Road to the Main Road and then to Newell’s Corners to reach their destination. Here they procured a small plot of land. Their property was described in one legal document as follows: "Beginning at a certain Hemlock Tree on the south, running thence to the lake, largest to the lake, in the shape of a wedge."
Ref. CenterForChurchMusic HanoverBicentenial Webedelic SheridanSettler TanBible

THE SPIRIT OF AMERICA

A patriotic musical

Presented by…

The Sheridan Community Chorus

Under the direction of Bud Lowery

WITH A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO VETERANS

Sunday, July 1, 2007

7:00 PM

Sheridan United Methodist Church

2679 Route 20 Sheridan, NY

For further information contact the church office: (716) 678-2048 or

Bud Lowery: (716) 934-7734 (tubamanbud@gmail.com) frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Sponsored by The Sheridan United Methodist Church

History of the Hymns

June 17, 2007
‘Alas! and Did My Savior Bleed’ (1827) Page 294
Words: Isaac Watts (1674– 1748) Music: Hugh Wilson (1766 - 1827)

Isaac Watts was born July 17, 1674 at Southampton, England. He was born into the home of “Non-Conformists” in the days when the Church of England persecuted ‘Dissenters’ and ‘Independents.’ Fortunately this intolerance lasted only a short while after Watts’ birth.
His father, was imprisoned twice during the ‘persecution era’ in England. After this persecution era had ended, Watts’ father prospered in his business and was able to give his son the best kind of education.
Isaac entered the ministry and preached his first sermon at the age of twenty-four. His utter lack of what is commonly known as “handsomeness” was probably responsible for the fact that he remained unmarried throughout his life. Yet I’m sure this frail soul had learned the truth of the verse which begins this meditation.
He wrote many scholarly papers that were used in several institutions of higher learning. Yet one of the most memorable pieces that came from his pen was a simple hymn, ‘Alas! and Did My Savior Bleed.’
Fanny Crosby testified that this song helped her to find the Savior when “believing” became difficult. There are 15 hymns in our hymnal by Isaac Watts.

Meanwhile…1827…180 years ago…in the United States…

President: John Quincy Adams…V.P.: John C. Calhoun
Slavery was abolished in NY…freeing 10,000 slaves
Three Delmonico brothers open the ‘upscale’ restaurant, ‘Delmonico’s in NYC
Joseph Smith said he unearthed the ‘Book of Mormon’ at Hill Cumorah, near Palmyra

From Bud's World

June 17, 2007

Fathers…100 years ago, versus Today
100 years ago, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived…
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera

100 years ago, a father smoked a pipe…
If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer.

100 years ago, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, “Wake up, it’s time for school…
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting “Wake up, it’s time for hockey practice.”

100 years ago, a happy meal was when father shared funny stories around the table…
Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonalds.

100 years ago, fathers threatened their daughter’s suitors with a shotgun if the girl came home late…
Today, fathers break the ice by saying, “So…how long have you had that earring?”

100 years ago, fathers were never truly appreciated…
Today, fathers are never truly appreciated.

History of Father’s Day
Father’s Day, contrary to popular misconception, was not established as a holiday in order to help greeting card manufacturers sell more cards. In fact when a “father’s day” was first proposed, there were no Father’s Day Cards.
Mrs. John B. Dodd, of Washington State, first proposed the idea of a “father’s day” in 1909. Mrs. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart. William Smart, a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife (Mrs. Dodd’s mother) died in childbirth with their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other five children on a rural farm in eastern Washington State. It was after Mrs. Dodd became an adult that she realized the strength and selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent.
In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father’s Day.

Afraid of thunder…
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug, “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.”
A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice: “The big sissy!”

Today in history
(June 17)
1994 – O.J. Simpson’s Ford Bronco was pursued by police in the infamous “slow speed pursuit”
1963 – The U.S. Supreme Court banned the required reading of The Lord’s Prayer in public schools
1941 – WNBT – TV of NYC was granted the 1st permit in the U.S. for a commercial TV station
1885 – The Statue of Liberty arrived in New York City aboard the French ship ‘Isere’
1775 – The British took Bunker Hill from the Colonists during the Battle of Bunker Hill

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@yahoo.com
http://www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com/

What the used car ad "really" means! (Joke)

What the car ad claims . . . what it really means~

rough condition . . . too bad to lie about~

parts car . . . beyond repair~

immaculate . . . recently washed~

engine quiet . . . if you use 90-weight oil~

needs minor overhaul . . . needs engine~

needs major overhaul . . . phone the junkyard~

burns no oil . . . it all leaked out~

rebuilt engine . . . cleaned the spark plugs~

drive it away . . . I live on a hill~

drive it anywhere . . . within 10 miles~

desirable classic . . . no one wants it~

rare classic . . . no one wanted it even when it was new~

stored 20 years . . . in a farmer's field~

ran when stored . . . won't start

Church Bulletin Bloopers (Joke)

If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.
Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.
Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
Lent is that period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.

Sheridan Community Chorus @ The Grape Festival?

We have been asked to perform our patriotic musical: 'Spirit of America' at the 40th Grape Festival this year. The date requested is Friday, September 14.

We would be singing in the park in the middle of the Village of Silver Creek and would start singing around 6:00 pm. We need to be finished by 7:00 pm because the "grape stomping" begins at 7:00.

Let me know what you think! There is a "comment" box under this posting where you can leave your comments. Please take the time to give me your feedback.

Sheridan Commuunity Chorus (Schedule)

Rehearsals: Every Tuesday evening 7:00 - 8:30 pm @ Sheridan United Methodist Church.

Tuesday (6/26) 7:00 PM Dress rehearsal with Cattaraugus singers at Sheridan.

Sunday (7/1) 7:00 PM Concert @ Sheridan United Methodist Church (6:00 PM report).

Tuesday (7/10) 7:00 PM Dress rehearsal at Cattaraugus Christian Camp

Sunday (7/15) 3:00 PM Concert (2:00 PM Report) @ Cattaraugus Christian Camp

A Christian Puppy

A Baptist couple decide that they want to get a dog. As they are walking down the street in town, they notice that a sign in the pet shop is advertising "Christian Puppies." Their interest piqued, they go inside.

"How do you know they're Christian puppies?" "Watch," says the owner, as he takes one of the dogs and says, "Fetch the Bible." The dog runs over to the desk, and grabs the Bible in its mouth and returns. Putting the Bible on the floor, the owner says, "Find Psalm 23." The dog flips pages with its paw until he reaches the right page, and then stops.

Amazed and delighted, the couple purchase the dog and head home. That evening, they invite some friends over and show them the dog, having him run through his Psalm 23 routine. Impressed, one of the visitors asks "Does he also know 'regular' commands?"

"Gee, we don't know. We didn't ask," replies the husband. Turning to the dog, he says, "Sit." The dog sits. He says, "Lie down." The dog lies down. He says "Roll over." The dog rolls over. He says "Heel." The dog runs over to him, jumps up on the sofa, puts both paws on the owner's forehead and bows his head.

"Oh look!" the wife exclaims. "He's PENTECOSTAL!"

The Prisoner's Last Request (Joke)

Two men, sentenced to die on the same day, were led down to the room where the electric chair was. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants.
The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last time?" "Certainly," replied the warden.
He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?"
"Please," said the condemned man, "Kill me first."

June 3 2007

A letter addressed to God…

A letter written in a childish scrawl came to the post office addressed to “God.” A postal employee, not knowing exactly what to do with the letter, opened it and read: “Dear God, my name is Jimmy. I am 6 years old. My father is dead and my Mom is having a hard time raising me and my sister. Would you please send us $500.00?

The postal employee was touched. He showed the letter to his fellow workers and they decided to kick in a few dollars each and send it to the family. They were able to raise $300.

A couple of weeks later the same post office received a second letter addressed to God. The boy thanked God for the recent infusion of cash, but ended with this request: “Next time would you send the money directly to us? If you send it through the post office they deduct $200!”

Big Bore Brass Tuba Choir

I am so excited that The Big Bore Brass Tuba Choir will be performing at The Sheridan United Methodist Church next Sunday (6/10) in the morning service. This 12-piece ensemble includes some of the finest musicians I have ever met and Dr. Kate Levy (Assistant Professor of music at the Fredonia School of Music) has agreed to conduct this all-star group. I will attempt to include their musical bios in the bulletin next week, but some are so extensive, I will have to “edit” them. The group includes professors, teachers, semi-professional players; and they are traveling from Niagara Falls, Collins, Williamsville, Silver Creek, Fredonia, and Jamestown. We will play everything from Bach to Sousa. We will even have a “mystery guest conductor” for one of the marches! Please join us and invite your friends. Don’t miss it!

I was just wondering

• Why do people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older...are they were cramming for their finals?

• Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
  What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

• How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

• Are clones people too?

• If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

• If you can't be kind, shouldn’t you at least have the decency to be vague?

Today in history

(June 3)

1992 – Joan Lunden was ordered to pay her ex-husband $18,000/month in spousal support

1969 – The last episode of ‘Star Trek’ aired on NBC

1949 – ‘Dragnet’ was 1^st broadcast on radio, KFI in LA

1888 – “Casey at the Bat” 1^st published by SF Examiner

1875 – Alexander Graham Bell made the 1^st voice transmission

1861 – The 1^st land battle of the Civil War when Union defeated Confederacy in Philippi, WV

1851 – 1^st baseball uniforms worn by NY Knickerbockers (straw hat, white shirt, long blue trousers)

History of the Hymns

June 3, 2007

‘For the Beauty of the Earth’ (1864) Page 92

Words: Folliot Sandford Pierpoint (1835 – 1917)

Music: Conrad Kocher (1786 - 1872)

Folliott Sandford Pierpoint, about whose life we know very little, wrote this beautiful summer hymn, full of the spirit of field and forest.

He was born in Bath, England, October 7, 1835, and obtained his education at Queen’s College in Cambridge University, graduating with classical honors in 1871.

He published several volumes of poems, but his work is best known by this hymn, which appeared in 1864. It has been changed in many lines, but the one in our hymnal is perhaps the best version.

In each verse of this hymn, there are four lines each with seven syllables and a two-lined refrain also with seven syllables each. Pierpoint was 29 at the time he wrote this hymn; the beauty of the countryside that surrounded him mesmerized him. It first appeared in 1864 in a book of poems entitled ‘The Sacrifice of Praise.”

This hymn was sung in the 1994 version of the movie: ‘Little Women,’ which was nominated for several Academy Awards.

Meanwhile…1864…143 years ago…in the United States…

President: Abraham Lincoln…V.P.: Hannibal Hamlin

Abraham Lincoln was re-nominated for President

1^st appearance of “In God We Trust” appeared on U.S. coins

General Sherman was making plans for his “march to the sea”

President Lincoln officially established Thanksgiving as a national holiday

The Buffalo Starch Factory was established & would become 3^rd largest in the world

General Daniel Davidson of Buffalo was killed in The Battle of Cedar Creek, Virginia

Ref. CenterForChurchMusic HanoverBicentenial Cyberhymnal BrainyHistory

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@yahoo.com

www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Chinese Proverbs (Joke)

Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Hymns for all "Professionals" (Joke)

Dentist's Hymn: Crown Him with Many Crowns

Weatherman's Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings

Contractor's Hymn: The Church's One Foundation

Tailor's Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy

Golfer's Hymn: There's a Green Hill Far Away

Politician's Hymn: Standing on the Promises

Optometrist's Hymn: Open My Eyes That I Might See

IRS Agent's Hymn: I Surrender All

Gossip's Hymn: Pass It On

Electrician's Hymn: Send The Light

Shopper's Hymn: Sweet By and By

Realtor's Hymn: I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop

Massage Therapist's Hymn: He Touched Me

Doctor's Hymn: The Great Physician

May 27

Memorial Day

Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation's service.

The Church Garden

Plant four rows of squash:

Squash gossip, Squash indifference, Squash grumbling, Squash selfishness

Plant four rows of lettuce:

Lettuce be faithful, Lettuce be kind, Lettuce be patient, Lettuce truly love one another

Plant three rows of peas:

Peace of mind, Peace of heart,

Peace of soul

Plant three rows of turnips:

Turnip for meetings,

Turnip for service, Turnip to help one another

We must include Thyme:

Thyme for each other, Thyme for family, Thyme for friends, Thyme for God

From the Choir Loft

Our Sheridan Community Chorus, under the direction of Bud Lowery, is busy rehearsing for the upcoming patriotic musical: ‘The Spirit of America.’ It will be performed here at The Sheridan United Methodist Church on Sunday, July 1 at 7:00 PM. It is a powerful tribute to God for bestowing his many blessings upon our country. It also reminds us of the sacrifice of all our veterans. We will honor each branch of our armed service as we sing a medley, which includes all the theme songs of the military branches. Please be sure to invite your friends and neighbors to this wonderful tribute.

Hi Def TV

With high-definition TV, they say everything looks bigger and wider. Kind of like going to your 25^th high school reunion.

Today in history

(May 27)

On this day in 1819, Julia Ward Howe was born. Her ‘Battle Hymn of the Republic,’ was written in 1861. It perfectly captured the shift in the country’s spirit, which was drawing men to don blue uniforms. No longer were they fighting simply to preserve the Union. Now the war was becoming a holy crusade to free the slaves.

On this day in 1941, a British naval force sank the German battleship ‘Bismarck’

History of the Hymns

‘Battle Hymn of the Republic’ (1861)

Words: Julia Ward Howe (1819 – 1910) Music: ‘USA Campmeeting’ tune

It was the midst of the terrible U.S. Civil War. Deeply anguished at the growing conflict between the two sections of the country, Mrs. Julia Howe watched troops marching off to war singing “John Brown's Body,” a song about a man who had been hanged in his efforts to free the slaves.

Julia felt that the catchy camp meeting tune should have better words. In a desire to phrase her own feelings about the dreadful events of the time, she scrawled the verses almost without even looking at the paper. Before long the entire nation became inspired by her text and united in singing the new words with the old tune. Mrs. Howe's hymn has been acclaimed through the years as one of our finest patriotic songs. At one time it was sung as a solo at a large rally attended by President Abraham Lincoln. After the audience had responded with loud applause, the President, with tears in his eyes, cried out, “Sing it again!” It was sung again.

And after more than a hundred years, Americans still join in proclaiming, “Glory! Hallelujah! His truth is marching on!”

Meanwhile…1861…146 years ago…in the United States…

President: Abraham Lincoln…

V.P.: Hannibal Hamlin

Silver Creek, NY by-laws of 1861

1. It is not lawful to encumber or obstruct the sidewalks.

2. Any dead animal found in the limits of the village must be buried within three hours of notification to the owner of the animal.

3. It is not lawful to bathe naked in either Walnut or Silver Creek or along the shores of Lake Erie within the village limits after sunrise or before nine o’clock in the evening. A fine of 50¢ will be levied for each violation of this law.

4. Assessors will be paid one dollar for each day devoted to official duties.

5. It is not lawful for milk cows to run at large in the village before sunrise or after sunset. A fine of 50¢ will be levied.

6. It is not lawful to fasten a horse to any ornamental, fruit, or shade tree planted in any Public Street or ground or to injure such tree in any manner. A fine of one dollar will be imposed for violation of this By-law.

Ref. CenterForChurchMusic HanoverBicentenial Cyberhymnal BrainyHistory

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@yahoo.com

www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

The bannister of life (Joke)

As you slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember...

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

A stray rabid dog bit my neighbor. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

The Magician & The Parrot (Joke)

There was magician on a cruise ship, and he was really good. He was performing the highlight of his show when a parrot walked onstage and squawked, ''It's in his sleeve!'' The magician chased the bird away.
The next day the magician was performing his highlight again (in front of a smaller audience) when the parrot walked onstage and declared, ''It's in his pocket!''
The next day, as he was performing the highlight, he saw the parrot in the crowd. But before the parrot could ruin the magic trick, the boat crashed into a rock and sank. The magician was lucky enough to find a board to hang on to. On the other end of the board was the parrot.
They stared at each other for three full days, neither of them saying anything, when suddenly the parrot said, ''I give up, what did you do with the ship?''

The Sheridan Community Chorus (rehearsals)

The chorus rehearsals are coming along fine due to the fact the attendance has been good at the rehearsals. The narration, the video, the solo are coming along.

We are always looking for more singers. Do you know any? Invite them along! We'll work hard making them feel welcome.

Patriotic concert in Sheridan, NY: Sunday, July 1, 2007 at 7:00 pm at The Sheridan United Methodist Church.

Patriotic concert in Cattaraugus, NY: Sunday, July 15, 2007 at 3:00 pm at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp in Cattaraugus, NY.

The Wailing Wall (Joke)

A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So, the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. She asks, "You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that, and what are you praying for?"

The old man replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the brotherhood of man. I go home, have a cup of tea, and I come back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth."

The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she asks.

The old man looks at her sadly. "Like I'm talking to a wall."

"Punalicious" (Part 1) Joke

PUNALICIOUS Part 1

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like an orange.

Sorry I am late...Again...

You might be a Mom if…
You plan your day according to when Sesame Street is on
You have signed a check with a crayon
You find Goldfish crackers in the glove box of your car
You wipe other kids’ noses
You have accidentally brushed your teeth with Desitin
You have caught spit-up with your hand
You can recite ‘Goodnight Moon’ and ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ by heart
You own the entire Baby Einstein DVD collection
You see your parents in a whole new light

From the Choir Loft
During a very important business meeting, there was a power failure causing all
the lights to go out. Everyone sitting around the large table began laughing or
Choir Loft complaining as they sat in total darkness. From out of the darkness came their
boss’s commanding voice: “Everyone raise their hands in the air.” Being
surprised by this rather strange request, nobody moved. Again the boss
commanded: “I said everyone raise their hands.” This time, they obliged, and immediately the lights came back on. They all looked shocked, and turned toward their boss for an explanation.
He explained: “It’s very simple…many hands make lights work.”
We need your “hands” in our ministry to make the work a little “lighter.” Why not join us?

Motherly Advice…
“Always wear clean underwear; you never know when you’ll have an accident.”
“Don’t you make that face…or it’ll freeze like that.”
“What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do that too?”
“Close that door! Were you born in a barn?”
“Don’t put that in your mouth…you don’t know where it’s been!”
“The proverbs of Solomon: A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother.”
Proverbs 10:1

Today in history
(May 13)
1981 – Pope John Paul II shot & wounded in St. Peter’s Square
1973 – Bobby Riggs beat Margaret Smith-Court in a “Mother’s Day Match”
1918 – The 1st airmail stamps were issued (24¢/each)

History of the Hymns
May 13, 2007
‘Tell Mother I’ll be There’ (1969) [Not in our hymnal]
Words and Music: Charles M. Fillmore (1860 – 1952)

A published copy of this hymn was sent to Charles M. Alexander who was the songleader for Dr. R. A. Torrey. He looked at the song and wondered if he could ever use it but decided he would put it in his briefcase for future reference. He carried it with him for years until he needed a solo for use at a church meeting. Hundreds of men responded and, in the years that followed, he sang it around the world and declared that “Tell Mother I’ll Be There” had brought more men to make a decision for Christ than any other song he ever used.
The inspiration for its writing came from a telegram sent by President McKinley to his family when his mother was dying and calling for him. He had wired, “Tell Mother I’ll Be There.” Charles Fillmore had read the newspaper account of this and had caught the idea for a song – one which experts thought no good but one that God would use to change the lives and destinies of thousands of men.

Meanwhile…1969…38 years ago…in the United States…
President: Richard M. Nixon…V.P.: Spiro T. Agnew
Gas: 35¢/gal., Milk: 31¢/qt., 1st class stamp: 6¢, Min. wage: $1.60/hr.
Music: ‘Get Back’ (Beatles), ‘Aquarius’ (5th Dimension)
Sen. Ted Kennedy pleads guilty to leaving the scene of an accident (Chappaquiddick)

History of Mother’s Day
In the United States, “Mother's Day” was first suggested in 1872 by Julia Ward Howe (who wrote the words to the ‘Battle hymn of the Republic’) as a day dedicated to peace. Ms. Jarvis persuaded her mother's church in Grafton, West Virginia to celebrate Mother's Day on the second anniversary of her mother's death, the 2nd Sunday of May. By the next year, Mother's Day was also celebrated in Philadelphia. In 1914 President Woodrow Wilson declared the first national Mother's Day, as a day for American citizens to show the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons had died in war (with specific reference to The Great War, now known as World War I).
Ref. CenterForChurchMusic BuffaloHistory SmithsTreasuryOfHymns InfoPlease Cyberhymnal BrainyHistory

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