What to do for retirement (Joke)

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and went into a shop. I was only in there for about five minutes and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I went up to him and said, "Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a "doughnut eating Gestapo." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus!

July 15, 2007

The church visitor
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. “Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely. “The front row please,” she answered.
“You really don’t want to do that,” the usher said. “The pastor is really boring.”
“Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired.
“No,” he said.
“I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.
“Do you know who I am?” he asked.
“No,” she said.
“Good,” he answered, “Let me show you the front pew!”

From the Choir Loft
Choir LoftTonight, we will again be joining forces with the Cattaraugus area singers to sing our patriotic musical: ‘THE SPIRIT OF AMERICA.’ We will perform this wonderful piece at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp in Cattaraugus, NY. The concert begins at 3:00 pm and the report time is 2:00. So, if you see me or any of the choir members “bolting” out the door following the church service this morning, you will understand. We will also present the cantata on Friday (9/14/07) at the 40th annual Grape Festival in Silver Creek.

Bible Stories according to kids
HIGHER POWER: A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"
MOSES & THE RED SEA: Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

Today in history
(July 15)
1996 – Prince Charles & Princess Di sign divorce papers
1932 – President Hoover cut his own salary by 15%
1901 – Over 74,000 Pittsburgh steelworkers went on strike
1881 – William Bonney “Billy the Kid” was shot by Pat Garrett
1779 – Birth of Clement C. Moore (author of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’)

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

From Bud's World

History of the Hymns
July 15, 2007
‘Spirit of God, Descend upon My Heart’ (1870) Page 500
Words: George Croly (1780 – 1860)
Music: Frederick Cook Atkinson (1841 - 1896)

Following the celebration of Easter, there are two other important Church calendar days, which many Christians often neglect to recognize. The first is ‘Ascension Day’-forty days following Easter. The second important day is ‘Pentecost Sunday’-ten days after Christ's ascension. It is thrilling at Christmas to recall the events of our Savior's birth, or at Easter his triumph over death. Yet if He had never ascended to make intercession for us or had never sent the Holy Spirit to dwell within and to guide us, our relationship with God would be most incomplete.
One of the finest of all hymns for Pentecost is this hymn, ‘Spirit of God, Descend Upon My Heart.’ The Rev. George Croly, a minister in the Anglican Church, wrote it. Croly was born in Dublin, Ireland, and graduated from Trinity College. He came to London, England, around 1810, where he served a small parish church. He was also active during this time as a literary writer of poems and novels as well as biographical, historical and scriptural material. Later, in 1835, he was asked by the church's leadership to re-open a church in the worst slum area of London, St. Stephen's Church, which had been closed for more than a century. His forceful, magnetic preaching soon attracted large crowds. Croly was characterized by his associates as a "fundamentalist in theology, a fierce conservative in politics, and intensely opposed to all forms of liberalism."
In 1854, when he was seventy-four years of age, he desired a new hymnal for his congregation and eventually prepared and published his own: ‘Psalms and Hymns for Public Worship.’ This is Croly's only surviving hymn from that collection.

Meanwhile…1870…137 years ago…in the United States…
President: Ulysses S. Grant…V.P.: Schuyler Colfax
Mark Twain (at age 34) married Olivia Langdon in Elmira, NY
The construction of the Brooklyn Bridge began (would take 13 years)
Buffalo’s population: 117,714…Erie County’s population: 178,699
Grover Cleveland was elected Erie County Sheriff (later served 2 terms as President)

Ref. HymnHistories BuffaloHistory WebEdelic HymnNuts TanBible

Sheridan Community Chorus

The Sheridan Community Chorus & The Cattaraugus area singers gave a powerful performance yesterday afternoon at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp.

The large audience was responsive and energetic as we presented 'The Spirit of America.'

I want to thank everyone involved for their time and effort to make this concert a huge success.

Sunday's (7/15) Concert

Sunday's Concert (7/15) at Cattaraugus Christian Camp

9714 Leon Road

Cattaraugus, NY 14719 (One mile south of village)

Corner of Route 353 & County Road 6

Report time: 2:00 PM

Concert time: 3:00 PM

Attire: Red, white & blue (any combination)

Bring your books

Bring your flags

The French robbery (Joke)

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre Museum. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

(See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else. I listed it because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.)

The Poisonous Wife (Joke)

A man goes to see his Rabbi."Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asks, "What's wrong?"

The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

The next day the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife on the phone yesterday for over three hours. You want my advice? " The man anxiously answers, "Yes."

"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.

Bud's World

July 8, 2007

The Million Dollar Question
A poor man walking in the forest felt close enough to God to ask, “God, what is a million years to you?”
God replies, “My son, a million years to you is like a second to me.”
The man asks, “God, what is a million dollars to you?”
God replies, “My son, a million dollars to you is less than a penny to me. It means almost nothing to me."
The man asks, “So God, can I have a million dollars?”
God replies, “In a second.”

From the Choir Loft
Last Sunday evening; our combined choruses presented the spirited patriotic cantata ‘Spirit of America.’ Four months of preparation went into this wonderful musical in an effort to thank God for his many blessings bestowed upon our Country, while honoring our veterans. I want to thank everyone who helped in presenting this musical. Also, I want to thank The Sheridan United Methodist Church for its continuing support. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please remember that we plan to present this musical again next Sunday evening (7/15/07) at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp in Cattaraugus, NY at 3:00 PM.

Bible Stories according to kids
LOT'S WIFE: The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mommy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
THE GOOD SAMARITAN: A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

Today in history

(July 8)
2000 - J.K. Rowling’s book ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’ was released in the U.S.
1981 – The U.S. Senate confirmed Sandra Day O’Conner to The Supreme Court
1969 – The U.S. troop withdrawal began in Vietnam
1963 – The U.S. banned all monetary transactions with Cuba
1947 – Demolition began for construction of the UN headquarters building in NYC
1932 – The DOW Jones average hit its lowest point during The Depression (41.22)
1889 – The Wall Street Journal was 1st published
1776 – Col. John Nixon gave the 1st public reading of The Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Bud's History of the Hymns

July 8, 2007
‘Marching to Zion’ (1867) Page 733
Words: Isaac Watts (1674 – 1748)
Music: Robert Lowry (1826 - 1899)

Because of the controversy between the singing of Psalms and the singing of hymns in the church, church leaders decided to sing Psalms at the beginning of their services and then after the preaching, they would sing hymns.
Many people, who were still against the singing of hymns, would get up and leave the service during hymn singing. Isaac Watts wrote this hymn, ‘We’re Marching to Zion,’ to refute this practice of people walking out during they hymn singing.
Pay particular attention to verse two:
“Let those refuse to sing who never knew our God; but children of the heavenly King, but children of the heavenly King may speak their joys abroad, may speak their joys abroad.”

Meanwhile…1867…140 years ago…in the United States…
President: Andrew Johnson…V.P.: None
In 1867, two railroad cars fell and burned in Angola, NY killing 50 people. The incident is known as the "Angola Horror." Tragedy struck when the worst railroad accident in the history of Erie County occurred on the LakeShore Railroad. The train, made up of three first-class coaches (a smoking car, and two baggage cars), was eastbound and due in Buffalo at 1:30 P.M. Several hundred yards beyond the Angola depot as the train was approaching the bridge over Big Sister Creek, the rear coach loosened an axle, worked it- self from the rails, and pulled off the coach just in front of it. The rear car broke loose and went plunging down the bank to the creek below. The second car almost reached the far end of the wooden span when its coupling was torn loose and it also went rolling down the bank resting on its side. In this car were two pot-bellied coal stoves used for heating, and both of them were thrown among the victims. Almost immediately the wreckage caught fire. By the time water could be brought from a nearby farm house it was too late. Fifty persons died in the fire of this coach; only three managed to crawl out.

Ref. HymnHistories BuffaloHistory HymnHistories SheridanSettler TanBible

From Bud's World

July 1, 2007

Independence Day
The Glory of America

On this day in 1776, the Continental Congress entered the final stage of its debate: should the Thirteen Colonies separate themselves from Great Britain?
Speaking with quiet power, John Adams declared: “Before God, I believe the hour has come. My judgement approves this measure, and my whole heart is in it. And I leave off as I began, that live or die, survive or perish, I am for the Declaration. It is my living sentiment, and by the blessing of God it shall be my dying sentiment. Independence now, and Independence for ever!”
~(Smoot) - America’s Promise

From the Choir Loft
Tonight, the combined Sheridan & Cattaraugus Community Chorus will present the patriotic musical: “THE SPIRIT OF AMERICA” at 7:00 PM here at Sheridan United Methodist Church. This will be the product of countless rehearsals, which began back in April. The chorus has worked hard, and the musical is a tribute to God for his many blessings. We will also honor our military veterans. Please come and invite others to join us for this powerful tribute to God & country.

July 4th
On July 4th, John Hancock, the Chairman of the Continental Congress, and the Secretary of the Congress both signed The Declaration of Independence of the United States, thereby making the document legal. This was the only government document in world history that is a creedal statement of Bible based ideals. It contains these phrases:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness… Appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions…With a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence…”

Today in history
(July 1)

2006 – Pastor Molly Golando officially became the pastor of Sheridan United Methodist Church
1979 – The SONY Corporation introduced the ‘Walkman’
1963 – The U.S. introduced the 5-digit ZIP code (‘Zone Improvement Plan’)
1941 – The Bulova Watch Co. sponsored the 1st TV commercial (NYC)
1909 – Thomas Edison began manufacturing alkaline batteries
1863 – The 1st day of the ‘Battle of Gettysburg’
1776 – The 1st vote on The Declaration of Independence
1776 – NJ gave all adults (who could prove a net worth of at least 50 pounds) the right to vote

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

No Chorus rehearsals

The entire chorus did a fantastic job at the patriotic musical last night. Great performance!

We will not have chorus rehearsals the following two Tuesday evenings (7/3 and 7/10).

The next rehearsal, is a dress rehearsal on Thursday, July 12 at 7:00 PM at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp - 9714 Leon Road - Cattaraugus, NY 14719 - One mile south of the village of Cattaraugus - Rt. 353 & County Rd. 6.

'The Spirit of America'

The combined choruses of the Sheridan and Cattaraugus, NY areas will present the patriotic musical: 'The Spirit of America' tonight at 7:00 pm at The Sheridan United Methodist Church (2679 Route 20 in Sheridan, NY 14135).

Participating will be County Legislator Robert Duff, Mr. Joe Gullo (veteran of The Iraq conflict), and Kevin J. Muldowney (representing Senator Cathy Young's office). They will each share a few uplifting words during our patriotic cantata.

We will also have 4 uniformed representatives from our 4 branches of the military.

This will be an uplifting time sure to make you leave with your head held high and proud to be a patriotic Christian.

Sunday (7/1) Schedule

10:30 am: The Sheridan United Methodist choir will sing: 'America' w/Jan Delcamp solo (from the patriotic cantata) in the morning service

6:00 pm: Report time for choirs to assemble on the platform @ Sheridan United Methodist Church.

7:00 pm: Patriotic program 'THE SPIRIT OF AMERICA' start time.

Speakers: Pastor Molly Golando, Legislator Robert Duff, Mr. Joe Gullo, Mr. Kevin J. Muldowney

(My hope is that the musical will begin by 7:20).

8:00: Reception immediately following concert in the fellowship hall in the church basement.

Sunday (7/1/07) Concert

The Patriotic musical: 'The Spirit of America' will be performed on Sunday, July 1 at The Sheridan United Methodist Church at 7:00 PM at the Sheridan United Methodist Church, 2679 Route 20 in Seridan, NY 14135.
Church office: (716) 672-2048
Bud tubamanbud@gmail.com

More Puns (Joke)

A good pun is its own reword.
Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
Dijon vu: The same mustard as before.
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

From Bud's World

June 24, 2007

If the Bible were written today by college students:
The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning -- cold.
The Ten Commandmentswould actually be only five -- double-spaced and written in a large font.
A new edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.
"Forbidden fruit"would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's email to abuse@romans.gov.
Reason Cain killed Abel: they were roommates.
Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years…
They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.
Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh,
He would have put it off until the night before to get it done.

From the choir loft
We will be presenting the patriotic musical: ‘The Spirit of America’ here at Sheridan United Church next Sunday, July 1, 2007 @ 7:00 PM and at The Cattaraugus Christian Camp on Sunday, July 15 @ 3:00 PM. This powerful musical focuses our attention on five attitudes and characteristics that have made Americans unique throughout our history: Spirit of Freedom, Adventure, Hope, Sacrifice and of Divine Purpose. This cantata will get your heart pounding with such songs as: ‘This is My Country, Salute to the Armed Services, America’ and many more. Invite your friends now!

Wit or Wisdom…
"Where the will of God leads you,
the grace of God will keep you."
~ Unknown
"A Pharisee is hard on others and easy on himself,
but a spiritual man is easy on others and hard on himself."
~ A. W. Tozer
"One cannot help being old, but one can resist being aged."
~ Lord Samuel

Today in history
(June 24)
1992 – John Gotti began his life sentence in jail
1964 – The FTC ruled that a health warning must appear on all cigarette packages
1953 – John F. Kennedy & Jacqueline Bouvier announced their engagement
1949 – "Hopalong Cassidy" became the 1st network western (NBC)
1941 – The entire Jewish population of Gorzhdy, Lithuania was exterminated
1903 – ‘In the Sweet Bye & Bye’ by Harry MacDonough & the Haydn Quartet was #1
1861 – Tennessee became the 11th state to secede from the Union
1817 – The 1st coffee beans were planted in Hawaii on the Kona coast
Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Bud’s History of the Hymns
June 24, 2007
‘Rock of Ages, Cleft for Me’(1830) Page 361
Words: Augustus M. Toplady (1740 – 1778)Music: Thomas Hastings (1784 - 1872)
Even when Augustus Toplady wrote his magnificent masterpiece, "Rock of Ages." he couldn’t resist the temptation to take a shot at those who he thought were believers in "Perfectionism." Toplady calculated that if a man lived to reach the age of 80, he would have the opportunity of committing over 2.5 billion sins, making it impossible to save himself. He needed a Savior! So when he finally finished this hymn, he titled it: ‘A living and dying prayer of the holiest believer in the world.’ He often said, "The most sanctified soul in the world must come down on his knees and confess, ‘Nothing in my hands I bring,’ and ‘Vile I to this fountain fly.’"
Thomas Hastings, the composer of this hymn tune, was born on October 15, 1784, in Washington, Connecticut. He wrote 1000 hymn tunes and more than 60 original hymn texts, as well as editing more than fifty music collections. In 1858 the University of the City of New York conferred the degree of Doctor of Music upon him in recognition of his accomplishments. Along with Lowell Mason, Thomas Hastings is generally credited with being the person most instrumental in shaping the development of church music in the United States. Hastings once wrote, "The homage that we owe Almighty God calls for the noblest and most reverential tribute that music can render."

Meanwhile…1830…177 years ago…in the United States…
President: Andrew Jackson…V.P.: Martin Van Buren
Population of Buffalo, NY was 8,668
In the fall of 1830, Charles and Mary Durfee of Cazenovia set out for the wilderness of Chautauqua County, settling on the lakeshore in Sheridan. The Lake Road at that time was only a path and not passable for loaded teams of horses, so in order to reach their future home from Dunkirk, they had to take the Roberts Road to the Main Road and then to Newell’s Corners to reach their destination. Here they procured a small plot of land. Their property was described in one legal document as follows: "Beginning at a certain Hemlock Tree on the south, running thence to the lake, largest to the lake, in the shape of a wedge."
Ref. CenterForChurchMusic HanoverBicentenial Webedelic SheridanSettler TanBible

THE SPIRIT OF AMERICA

A patriotic musical

Presented by…

The Sheridan Community Chorus

Under the direction of Bud Lowery

WITH A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO VETERANS

Sunday, July 1, 2007

7:00 PM

Sheridan United Methodist Church

2679 Route 20 Sheridan, NY

For further information contact the church office: (716) 678-2048 or

Bud Lowery: (716) 934-7734 (tubamanbud@gmail.com) frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Sponsored by The Sheridan United Methodist Church

History of the Hymns

June 17, 2007
‘Alas! and Did My Savior Bleed’ (1827) Page 294
Words: Isaac Watts (1674– 1748) Music: Hugh Wilson (1766 - 1827)

Isaac Watts was born July 17, 1674 at Southampton, England. He was born into the home of “Non-Conformists” in the days when the Church of England persecuted ‘Dissenters’ and ‘Independents.’ Fortunately this intolerance lasted only a short while after Watts’ birth.
His father, was imprisoned twice during the ‘persecution era’ in England. After this persecution era had ended, Watts’ father prospered in his business and was able to give his son the best kind of education.
Isaac entered the ministry and preached his first sermon at the age of twenty-four. His utter lack of what is commonly known as “handsomeness” was probably responsible for the fact that he remained unmarried throughout his life. Yet I’m sure this frail soul had learned the truth of the verse which begins this meditation.
He wrote many scholarly papers that were used in several institutions of higher learning. Yet one of the most memorable pieces that came from his pen was a simple hymn, ‘Alas! and Did My Savior Bleed.’
Fanny Crosby testified that this song helped her to find the Savior when “believing” became difficult. There are 15 hymns in our hymnal by Isaac Watts.

Meanwhile…1827…180 years ago…in the United States…

President: John Quincy Adams…V.P.: John C. Calhoun
Slavery was abolished in NY…freeing 10,000 slaves
Three Delmonico brothers open the ‘upscale’ restaurant, ‘Delmonico’s in NYC
Joseph Smith said he unearthed the ‘Book of Mormon’ at Hill Cumorah, near Palmyra

From Bud's World

June 17, 2007

Fathers…100 years ago, versus Today
100 years ago, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived…
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera

100 years ago, a father smoked a pipe…
If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer.

100 years ago, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, “Wake up, it’s time for school…
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting “Wake up, it’s time for hockey practice.”

100 years ago, a happy meal was when father shared funny stories around the table…
Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonalds.

100 years ago, fathers threatened their daughter’s suitors with a shotgun if the girl came home late…
Today, fathers break the ice by saying, “So…how long have you had that earring?”

100 years ago, fathers were never truly appreciated…
Today, fathers are never truly appreciated.

History of Father’s Day
Father’s Day, contrary to popular misconception, was not established as a holiday in order to help greeting card manufacturers sell more cards. In fact when a “father’s day” was first proposed, there were no Father’s Day Cards.
Mrs. John B. Dodd, of Washington State, first proposed the idea of a “father’s day” in 1909. Mrs. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart. William Smart, a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife (Mrs. Dodd’s mother) died in childbirth with their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other five children on a rural farm in eastern Washington State. It was after Mrs. Dodd became an adult that she realized the strength and selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent.
In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father’s Day.

Afraid of thunder…
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug, “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.”
A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice: “The big sissy!”

Today in history
(June 17)
1994 – O.J. Simpson’s Ford Bronco was pursued by police in the infamous “slow speed pursuit”
1963 – The U.S. Supreme Court banned the required reading of The Lord’s Prayer in public schools
1941 – WNBT – TV of NYC was granted the 1st permit in the U.S. for a commercial TV station
1885 – The Statue of Liberty arrived in New York City aboard the French ship ‘Isere’
1775 – The British took Bunker Hill from the Colonists during the Battle of Bunker Hill

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@yahoo.com
http://www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com/

What the used car ad "really" means! (Joke)

What the car ad claims . . . what it really means~

rough condition . . . too bad to lie about~

parts car . . . beyond repair~

immaculate . . . recently washed~

engine quiet . . . if you use 90-weight oil~

needs minor overhaul . . . needs engine~

needs major overhaul . . . phone the junkyard~

burns no oil . . . it all leaked out~

rebuilt engine . . . cleaned the spark plugs~

drive it away . . . I live on a hill~

drive it anywhere . . . within 10 miles~

desirable classic . . . no one wants it~

rare classic . . . no one wanted it even when it was new~

stored 20 years . . . in a farmer's field~

ran when stored . . . won't start