Business Mergers in America...

With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations later this year:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa .

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.

And finally...

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!

Thanks to Gregory Harper

Today's Wisdom

"The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people."

~ Lucille S. Harper

Bud's World (10/5/08)

credits: Jazz critic: Bertha Deblues Hair color consultant: Dewey R. Donti Instrument repairman: Anita Hammer Attorney: Gil T. Azell

Out of the mouths of babes
One of the teachers had a kindergartner come up to her and say that he found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead. The student said it was dead. The teacher asked how he knew. The boy said, “I pissed in its ear.” The horrified teacher said, “You what?” The little boy innocently said, “you know, I went to his ear and said, ’PSST!’ and it didn’t move. So it must be dead.”

I was just wondering…Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
If a turtle loses its shell is it naked or homeless?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

From the Sheridan Community Chorus Choir Loft
Yes, we are going to get together as a group to plan our future (yes, there is a future). All “friends and members” of The Sheridan Community Chorus are invited...singers & non-singers alike! I would like to have our potluck dinner/meeting on a Saturday evening. How about 5:00 pm? Would anyone be willing to step forward and organize this for me? Please get back to me with a suggested date.

Famous Quotes“The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.”
~ Yogi Berra
“There is one thing that freezes a musician more than the deadliest physical cold,
and that is the spiritual chill of an unresponsive audience!”
~ John Philip Sousa

Name that instrument
This instrument used to be called the “sackbut.” It is found in the brass section
and is unusual as it is not operated by pistons.
(Answer next week)

Today in History
October 5
2004 – Crude oil prices jumped to a record $51.09/barrel
1988 – During the V.P. debate, Bentson turned to Quayle saying: “Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.”
1970 – PBS became a network
1969 – Monty Python’s ‘Flying Circus’ debuted on BBC television in Great Britain
1962 – The Beatles released their 1st record ‘Love Me Do’
1945 – ‘Meet the Press’ premiered on radio
1902 – Ray Croc was born. He founded the McDonald’s franchise in 1955
1882 – Outlaw Frank James surrendered in Missouri 6 months after brother Jesse’s assassination
1880 – The 1st ball-point pen patented by Alonzo T. Cross

Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For Community Chorus updates:
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Sheridan Community Chorus

Yes, we are going to get together as a group to plan our future (yes, there is a future). All "friends and members" of The Sheridan Community Chorus are invited...singers & non-singers alike!
I would like to have our potluck dinner/meeting on a Saturday evening.
How about 5:00 pm?
Would anyone be willing to step forward and organize this for me?
Please get back to me with a suggested date.

Wisdom of the day

"Women are made to be loved, not understood."

~ Oscar Wilde

Today's funny

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

I have personally had each and every one of these comments on my report cards!
Bud
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com
tubamanbud@gmail.com

Today's wisdom

Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.

~ Jerry Garcia

Bud's status

I have been fired as choir director of the Sheridan United Church on Saturday, September 27 at 12:00 noon.

The board gave me the opportunity to "rescind" the contents of my email letter of 9/1/08 to the friends and members of the Sheridan Community Chorus. I told them I could not say I had lied to the chorus, when I hadn't. (You can go back on my Blog to the 9/2 posting to see my announcement. I think you can see that I handled it directly and professionally with compliments to the Sheridan church.)

Remember the old saying: "no one is irreplaceable."

And as for me, don't worry...

Diane, my family, and especially my golden retriever (Kacey) still love me!

Humbled,
Bud

Sheridan Community Chorus pot-luck

Yes, we want to get all "friends and members of The Sheridan Community Chorus" together to discuss the future of this wonderful group. I would like to share with you the enormous number of cards, letters, emails, phone calls, and personal testimonies as to the importance of this ministry.
Please contact me (there is an icon at the end of this article to contact me) and let me know if you'd like to attend.
Plus, we need some volunteers to help with the dinner.
We need you.

Bud

Sheridan Community Chorus

I hope each and every member of the Sheridan Community Chorus got the word that we were not singing at The Grape Festival in Silver Creek last Saturday (9/20/08). If you didn't, please accept my sincere apology.

I would like to get all the "friends and members" of The Sheridan Community Chorus together at a pot-luck dinner to discuss our future plans.

I am open to suggestions as to where and when to have this pot luck dinner. I would like to get together in early fall before the weather becomes a problem. The purpose of the meeting will be to discuss the needs of our ensemble and to share the wonderful offers of help.

Please contact me by phone, email, mail, or on my blog with your suggestions.
I would like to be ready to roll early next year in order to be ready for the 2009 Easter season.

Bud

If God had Voice Mail funny

Thank you for calling heaven.

I am sorry, all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1.
Jesus, press 2.
The Holy Spirit, press 3.
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, press 4.

To find a loved one who has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, then enter his or her social security number followed by the pound sign. (If you get a negative response, please hang up and try area code 666.)For reservations in heaven, please enter J-O-H-N 3:16

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, life on other planets, and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.

Bud's World

True friendship?
“Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other.”
~ Honore de Balzac
“The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.”
~ Mark Twain

"Stop bugging me"
Some friends were on vacation in Maine, and while watching fireworks heard their small son say, “Oh, God!” The father quickly cautioned his son, "Please don't speak the Lord's name in vain.” The boy nodded but obviously mis-heard the word vein, because he asked quietly, “Is it OK if I speak his name back in Minnesota?”

From the Choir Loft
Finally, after almost 6 months of rehearsals and concerts, our chorus has completed our patriotic musical season. I don’t want to admit this to the singers, but we’ve had continuous chorus rehearsals from September, 2007 until September, 2008. Please don’t mention this to the chorus, or they’ll all want a raise! Our church choir schedule is much easier. We warm-up before the Sunday morning service from 10:00 – 10:15 and rehearse following the Sunday morning service from 11:30 – 12:00. We want and need you. All talent levels needed.

Wit or Wisdom?“My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.”
~ Steven Wright
“The Christian on his knees sees more than the philosopher on tiptoe.”~ D.L. Moody
"He is a sophistical rhetorician inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity."
~ Bud’s father (describing his son)
“Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.”~ Laurence J. Peter

Today in History
September 21
1981- Sandra Day O’Conner became the 1st female Supreme Court Justice
1970 – Monday Night football premiered on ABC-TV (Browns: 31 Jets: 21)
1938 – Winston Churchill condemned Hitler’s “annexation” of Czechoslovakia
1928 – ‘My Weekly Reader’ magazine made its debut
1897 – The NY Sun ran the famous “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” editorial
1821 – Joseph Smith claimed the Angel Moroni led him to ancient golden plates near Palmyra, NY
1814 – The ‘Star Spangled Banner’ was published as a poem
1780 – Benedict Arnold gave the plans to West Point to British Major Andre
1692 – 2 men & 7 women were executed for witchcraft in Salem, Massachusetts

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates:
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com

Today's Wisdom

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Grape Festival (Silver Creek, NY)

Just some of the Saturday (9/20/08) activities of the 'Festival of Grapes'

Arts and Crafts, Children Events, Anderson-Lee Library book sale, Wine (no, not "whine"), Action Praise Team (11:00-Noon - sponsored by 1st Baptist Church), Rides & Concessions, 96WKIX live remote (1:00 - 4:00), Pet Parade and Try Buchwald as Elvis (5:30 - 8:30).

If you see me at the Festival, I'd love to see you too! I know you can catch me...

Today's Funny

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?

A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Sheridan Community Chorus

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am extremely disappointed to announce that we have cancelled the Sheridan Community Chorus appearance at The Grape Festival on Saturday, September 20.
I can appreciate the enormous inconvenience this may cause you, and for that I apologize.
I will keep you updated on any and all future plans.

Bud

Today's "DEEP THOUGHT"

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

Wisdom of the day

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Wisdom of the day

“In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.”
~ John Adams

Bud's World

Funnies
Q: What do you call a non-churchgoer?
A: A Seventh-Day Absentist
If you want to save face, keep the lower half shut
~ Ann Landers

I was just wondering…
How do they get the deer to cross at the yellow sign?
If I vow to avoid poison ivy, am I making a rash promise?
Why is a person who handles your money called a "broker"?
How can one person be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
Is a kleptomaniac a person who helps himself because he can't help himself?

From the Choir Loft
Our chorus will perform the patriotic musical: ‘Our Flag Was Still There’ this Saturday (9/20/08) during the Grape Festival in Silver Creek. Yes, it’s our 9th performance of this powerful patriotic musical! We will begin the performance @ 2:00 and will perform outside (Lord willing!) near the Gazebo in the Village Park near the big white church (First United Church) in the middle of the Village of Silver Creek. Please show your support by coming out and clapping wildly (in between songs).

Out of the mouth of Babes...
Little Billy returned home from his first day at school and asked his mother, “What’s sex?”
His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the ‘hard to explain subject’...to her inquisitive six year old.
When she had finished, little Billy produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, “Okay Mommy, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?”

Today in History
September 14
1996 – Mark Mc Guire became the 13th player to hit 50 HR’s in a season
1973 – President Nixon signed into law a measure lifting pro football’s ‘blackout rule’
1972 – The ‘Walton’s’ TV show premiered
1968 – 1st broadcast of ‘60 minutes’ on CBS-TV
1965 – ‘F-Troop’ premiered on TV
1960 – Iraq, Iran, Kuwait, Saudi-Arabia & Venezuela form OPEC
1948 – Milton Berle launched his TV career on ‘Texaco Star Theater’
1891 – “Empire State Express” train goes fro NYC to East Buffalo (436 miles in record 7hours/6 min.)
1872 – Britain paid the U.S. $15 million for Civil War damages
1847 – U.S. Marines under General Scott enter Mexico City (thus: ‘From the halls of Montezuma’)
1814 – Francis Scott Key was inspired to write ‘The Star Spangled Banner’

Church office: (716) 672-2048, Bud: (716) 934-7734, email: tubamanbud@gmail.com
For choir / chorus or church music updates:
www.frombudsworld.blogspot.com